We did an art and expression exercise at an art and yoga workshop weekend recently in which we had to select a yogic exercise from our yoga set with which we felt some sort of connection.
For whatever reason, Gorilla called to me.
It had felt amazing, pounding on my sore thigh muscles, and the massive power combined with amazing tenderness of the beasts felt somehow homey and welcoming to me… plus, we come front the same family, right?
So, I went with Gorilla.
First, we had to do a movement and make a noise that connected to our experience of that animal.
I sat up in a wide, wide squat, tilted my head downward, and rested my wrists on my thighs, hands hanging in partial fists, and gave a very subtle grunt.
The group tried to get me to howl and bang my chest – some others even did that at the time, supposedly as encouragement for me to do it – but that wasn’t my experience of Gorilla… “I am not an angry Gorilla,” I said.
I am calm…, I thought, so is this Gorilla… that’s why we get along.
Then, we had to select a word or phrase from a set that connected to the animal for us, to our experience of the animal, and I, despite multiple people’s efforts to have me select something else, – think super stereotypical for the anger and rage of gorillas – selected something like Noble Silence…. in my head, it had been more along the lines of Silent Confidence and Majesty, the phrase connected with my experience, and the Noble Silence was the closest of the available options to that idea.
I shared with my mom afterward about to exercise, and she totally got it.
I, as Gorilla, observe comfortably and confidently, and am at ease, but am aware and ready to handle any situation which may arise that might require my attention.
Yes, I can take down any threat to my family…, but I only behave ok such a rough way when needed – gentle, comfortable observation and royal calm is my neutral and natural state.
Throughout the weekend, the Gorilla connection grew for me.
Ever since that weekend, it has stayed with me.
I always wanted to be a cat – like a lion or a Tiger or Puma -, but maybe I am more a Gorilla…?
My spirit animal has never been clear for me…, perhaps because I have always sought it in incorrect animals.
Perhaps monkey holds more of me than any others, after all, despite my almost joking about our shared origins.
I don’t know an answer for all of this, and I’m okay with that… I am merely considering this newfound connection I have with Gorilla… perhaps we are meant to meet one day… I can almost feel the leather of the hands already, the warmth of the skin, and the roughness of the fur.., does it also stink, ever so slightly???… kind of like dogs…
Anyway, I also am singing now in my head Phil Collins’s “Son of Man”, which played in the animated “Tarzan” film years ago… great song, and great film… yeah…
Anyway, perhaps this Gorilla will connect with my recent Bear connection, too, and I will find my animal kingdom family…
Note: It was Deep Listening that I selected from the available cards/phrases… I’ve just remembered.