hannah.ananas

Speed Runner

Once, when I was little (maybe still in elementary school), my mom let me out of the car near the end of our street. We were heading home, and I don’t know how it came up, but I wanted to know how fast I could run. So she had me get out to run next to the car, and she would measure my speed by driving next to me.

I didn’t even have shoes on, as I recall, but we went for it anyway. Perhaps I made it to 17mph. That number stands in my memory as connected to the incident. Whatever the speed, though, it has always stood as a favorite memory of mine. I love the nonsense that my mom and I get up to, and it hasn’t been until recent years that I have begun to notice how much so we really are ridiculous, and how we have been so all my life. I love my mom.
Post-a-day 2017

Bedtime Stories and Serenades

In college, a few friends wanted to hear me read Harry Potter to them in French one night. So, I grabbed my book and started reading. After only a couple or few minutes into it, they all agreed that, while they didn’t understand anything but the names in the story, they still loved it. Why? Because they found my voice and reading style to be so comforting. They said that it was the perfect kind of bedtime story, and so asked me to keep reading.

Within ten minutes, the room had fallen asleep peacefully.

Thus began my days as a bedtime story-reader for others.
And, until last night, that was the extent of my aiding others to fall asleep.

Last night, however, as I was humming some song quietly, getting into my bed at our hotel, a friend asked me, and in a somewhat odd way, if I could sing the opening song to Beauty and the Beast. After a few moments’ thought, I began the song.

I left out a handful of lines somewhere in the middle, of course, as it isn’t one of my top-known songs, but I made it through most of the song with ease. When I finished, I thought that I would be going to sleep. Naturally, since I’m telling this story, that was not the case.

Thirty to forty-five minutes later, I finally dozed off, as the requests had slowly ended with my roommates falling asleep. I had gone through songs from Mulan, Pocahontas,The Little Mermaid, and still other Disney musicals in my seemingly endless list of requests. I felt like, perhaps, it would be a good thing for me to join in the princess parties a couple of my friends do, because I found myself really enjoying this Disney singing. I wasn’t sure if my roommates particularly liked the singing, or if they just thought it was fun and silly, but I obliged, because I liked music and singing well enough to keep singing at each request, and I was too exhausted to evaluate the situation more clearly.

When hanging out in the room the next day, however, I discovered the answer to my unasked question of their enjoyment at my singing. One of my roommates specifically mentioned that she has to have my singing again at bedtime tonight.

‘Really?’

‘Yes! It was so good, and so soothing. It was just what I needed for going to bed.’

Wow. Well, okay, then. I’d be happy to oblige again!

Then, as I was later in coming back than my roommates, I got a slew of text messages, wondering when I would be back to our room. When I walked in the room, they instantly started expressing relief at my arrival, ‘because we were so worried – we thought we might not get your singing tonight.’

As I’m thinking about all of this right now, I recall two other recent occasions of my singing for people on the phone. Talking to a girlfriend one night, she wanted to shower quickly, but we didn’t want to bother with hanging up and calling back. So I said I would just sing to her while she showered. So, I did, and we both loved it and the silliness of it.

A day or so later, a guy friend called me on his way home from a late dinner and drinks. When he arrived home, he contemplated a shower, but said that would be too difficult, and besides, he would have to get off the phone for that. To which I replied with the incident with my girlfriend in which she showered and I sang, for those same reasons. Not as a suggestion, but simply a factual statement of options for showering while remaining on the phone with someone. He decided against the shower nonetheless, but requested a song anyway, declaring it unfair that I would sing for another friend and not for him, so I had to sing for him in order to be fair amongst my friends. Okay, okay. So, I sang. And what happened? He fell asleep. Completely passed out. 😛

So, I suppose that was actually the first time I sang someone to sleep. However, last night and tonight were the first occasions of my having someone request for me to sing him/her to sleep. 😛

Anyway, … I know all of that must be a mess, because I’m exhausted and in my phone, but I’m just going to leave it for now. Perhaps I’ll fix it when I’m back home Tuesday. Perhaps not. 😛
Post-a-day 2017

an outlook saving the day

Sometimes, there are days when everything seems to go perfectly, and yet I feel dreadful (mentally). And then there are, on the other end of the spectrum, days when things continuously seem to be going wrong, one thing after the next, and yet I feel, somehow, totally okay (and sometimes even quite good). Today was one of the latter type of days.

Thing after thing went wrong and went ways I utterly disliked, and I was even borderline crying over some of them (for various valid and ridiculous reasons). I actually did cry at least a couple times today. And, somehow, everything worked out such that I’m feeling quite well right now, as I prep for bed at 8:16pm. I am exhausted. And I’m doing okay anyway.

One thing I noticed throughout the day, was how I kept honest and open with myself about my frustrations, and I talked through them each time they arose. ‘This is what I have (this situation). Now, what can I do with it?” Sure, I occasionally had the angry and unkind words in response to this inquiry, but I always was able to let them go, and to find an actual remedy to whatever the situation, be it a mental attitude switch or an actual exchange in something regarding my at-the-time circumstances.

So, I am here, freezing my feet and extremities off, wondering if I’ll be able even to function tomorrow after the near-constant beating I received today from my second day ever (first day was about ten years ago) snowboarding. And I’m okay.

Yeah. I’m okay. 🙂
Post-a-day 2017

St. Patrick’s Day

Today has been St. Patrick’s Day. In Japan, however, it couldn’t have been a more standard, everyday kind of day. People hadn’t even heard of it when I mentioned that St. Patrick’s Day was today. Crazy.

Still crazy, I guess is better to say. I know that my holidays and celebrations are either nonexistent or incredibly differently celebrated here in Japan. That in no way changes this to-the-core experience of oddness, like a cat’s hair being brushed up the wrong direction (but while it sleeps) – it’s just weird, I guess – at the fact that something with which I so strongly identify just doesn’t exist here. It creates a sort of sensation that, because no one around me knows about any of these things, these things – these holidays and celebrations – don’t exist for them, thereby making it as though a whole bunch of the bits that make up me don’t exist either. In other words, with these holidays missing, going unacknowledged, it is as though parts of me are going missing, too. One holiday at a time, ya know?

I wonder if I’ll be a super-celebrator of all of our holidays once I’m back in The States… not only would that make sense, but it would be totally fun. 😀
Post-a-day 2017

career planning like child’s play

As I pondered about today at work, with no actual work to do, but tons of pastimes to pursue at my desk, I somehow came to the idea of thinking like a child. I think I was inspired from the fact that a girl in this one movie was about to become a full-fledged lawyer, and I found myself somewhat envious. It got me thinking about how, as a child, I never really wanted to be anything specific when I grew up. Sure I said singer/actor, but that was kind of a ‘just ’cause’ answer, not an impassioned one – my heart was certainly not in it. It just sounded fun to be famous and super talented, you know?

So, as I was thinking about how kids have these people they want to be when they grow up, and how ridiculous those things sometimes sound, and then how boring of jobs those kids typically eventually end up getting when they are adults, I got into the crazy-ish idea of, “Well, if I were a kid now, what would I want to be when I grow up?” And that’s when the fun started.

It didn’t take very long for me to come to my conclusion. Fully-passioned and excited, I felt a need to share the news with the world. I didn’t think much beyond that – sharing it – other than how fun it sounded, and how silly it would be should I actually somehow become such an individual. Why? Well, I said that I want to be a cello-playing ballerina artist who does astronomy and physics stuff for fun.

So, I posted about it on the beautiful world of Facebook. After seeing a few of the comments that friends made, however, I began actually thinking about such a career path for myself. Part of the whole reason I started thinking about it, was because I thought it crazy how kids, who can do next-to-nothing about it, are so passionate about what they want to do for their jobs, and yet adults, who have all the ability to do something about their current jobs, tend to be so dispassionate about their careers. So, here I am, taking on a child’s passion in terms of career direction/choice (really, choosing freely (as a child chooses) what I would do, if I could do anything I wanted), and I suddenly realized that I am one of those adults who is in a position actually to do something about my career.

Wow. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how easy it could be for me. Yes, it is loads and loads of hard work. I know. But I’m talking about practicality of the situation. I’ve recently re-begun ballet lessons, I’m picking up my own art supplies next week in order to continue in my student-taught art lessons I’ve been receiving, and I’m working at a school with lots of musical connections (likely with links to a student of some age who could start teaching me to play the cello). And this is all just in my small town in Japan. When I move back to my big city in the US this Summer/Fall, I’ll have innumerable resources at my fingertips. And, without even realizing this earlier today, I have made specific progress towards this goal for the Fall: I now recall that I have already spoken to a sort of art expert to help me find some appropriate art classes for me to take this coming Fall.

Life is looking beautiful on the career path front. I in almost no way have a ballerina’s body. And that’s okay. I don’t want to be on the main stage. I know that. But I want to be dancing ballet. 🙂 (I’m so excited about this, I can’t stop smiling and having a little delighted shudder race through me every so often as I think about it all.)

My cousin commented about my career goals being similar to the career of Hedy Lamar. I had to look her up, though I recognized the name. As I was on the phone with my mom, I asked her what she knew about Hedy. Just that she was a black and white actress, very gorgeous 30s look. When I found her Wikipedia page, I read it aloud to my mother, and we both were amazed – she was fabulous, and my cousin was exactly right in comparing my career goals to the career of Hedy Lamar! Check her out. She was awesome. She and the guy from Queen (Brian May) who has a PhD in Astrophysics. They rock.

So, yeah… that’s today’s ponderings that I cared to share here. 🙂 Peace out, yo.

Post-a-day 2017

My best friend’s wedding… I mean brother-in-law… or both

On the morning of my best friend’s wedding, one of the other bridesmaids and I went to the hotel where the fiancé and his family were staying. We were to deliver a video message to the fiancé, from my best friend. We had made the video the night before, and it was really ridiculous and in three parts, music and dancing and all that jazz included. Essentially it was a super-cute video, designed to be a fun way to say, “Yay! I get to marry you today!”

When we got to the hotel, we knocked on the door of the room in which my best friend’s fiancé was supposedly staying. The door was suddenly and almost frighteningly quickly swung open, to reveal the half naked older brother of the fiancé. He is tall, blonde, and gorgeous. And, half naked, he’s anything but half bad.

As I was standing directly in front of the door, I had a clear view of him and the room behind him. Our eyes locked for a moment, his panic showed as he realized that we were not one of his brothers, and the door quickly slammed back shut. I turned, wide-eyed, to the other bridesmaid and we both just looked at each other, confused. She asked what had just happened. She, having been just to the side of the door, had not seen the gorgeous brother in his underwear, and so merely knew that someone had swung open and then shut the door. When I told her what sight stood before me for those three delightful seconds of unimaginable hilarity, we both busted out laughing, and felt as though we might never stop. It was a great start to the day. 🙂
Post-a-day 2017

Umbrellas at Night

People look at me like I’m crazy as I walk down the street. I know I get looks a lot of the time, and oftentimes for good reason, but today/tonight has been particularly ridiculous.

Sure, I’m using an umbrella when it’s not raining, but all it takes is a little logic (or perhaps I’m just a bit too creative and/or crazy for the average Japanese person?).

So, it isn’t raining. What other reasons might someone use an umbrella? To block the sun. Okay, but it’s a clear umbrella. And sometimes it’s even nighttime when I’m using it. So, the sun thing doesn’t make too much sense. Okay, why else might someone use an umbrella? It is usually for some sort of protection from the elements, right? So, what elements are at play right now? Ridiculously cold temperatures. Wind. Hmm… I wonder if those have anything to do with it?

As my hair rests calmly halfway beneath and halfway behind the umbrella, you’d think people would grasp the fact that I am using the umbrella to block this frigid wind. But no, they really don’t seem to get it. They just stare at me like I’m totally nuts. Which, by the way, is quite a different look from the usual one I get as a foreigner. Just saying. 😛

Post-a-day 2017

What to write…? a poem

What to write…? What to write…?

Of legends? Of thoughts? Or of tonight?

Do I analyze something maturely,

Or speak from the heart purely?

Shall I cry or weep with relief,

Or in a blow of deleaf… defeat?

What is the point (Shall I write about that?)?

My efforts feel pointless, and quite often, in fact.

But what does that matter, when the measure is of others, not myself?

For this is not just another trophy for my nonexistent shelf.

It is whole and complete, and perfect, you see,

for it is meant as a place to express for I, myself, and me.
Post-a-day 2017

Enough is Enough…?

At what point do we say that enough is enough? What determines that point for us? Is there a common criteria, or is it drastically different for each person, determined by the nuturing of one’s youth?

Do we have a say in how we manage the rule throughout life, or is it set in stone, once it has been established?

Or is it all relative, to where no situation can be upheld to the same standards as another, where each enough is enough is different?

Just wondering…
Post-a-day 2017

Okinawa, but actually Baseboards

Okay, today was, put simply, an amazing day for me. I stood up for myself against myself and social pressures and blah-di-blah-blah, I wandered about, I found amazing things, and I never even made it to my intended destination. And it was fabulous.

However, I’ll not write about all of that tonight. I’m on my phone, and I find it cumbersome and somewhat annoying to write a lot on my phone, so I’ll wait until Monday or Tuesday, when I have my computer to use. Don’t worry, though, I took lots of pictures to remind me of what all I did today (a bit different for me, huh?), so those will help me write it all up rather accurately later on!

Instead, tonight I will write about baseboards.

As I was showering just now, here in the Air BnB, I started wondering about how they manage cleaning of the place between visitors. Naturally, I cut off that line of thinking almost instantly (because, of you know anything about me and cleanliness, you know I have super-mental-OCD when it comes to bathroom-related cleanliness). However, it reminded me of dirty I have found places to be in Japan.

Now, when I say that I find places here dirty, it doesn’t mean that Japan is generally gross all over the place – the average person likely wouldn’t notice a thing, except on the odd occasion. I mean things like door handles, hand towels, and all sorts of other little everyday things. Things like baseboards, for example.

I never thought much about baseboards (aside from ‘kicking the baseboard’ at the end of an outside turn in two-step (the partner dance, not the song that says it over and over again)) until I was visiting my high school boyfriend’s house one day. They were finishing with cleaning day at their house when I arrived, and his mom was assigning the final chores to him and his siblings.

“Do you want to vacuum, or do the baseboards?” she asked him.

I think he picked the vacuuming, but I’m not sure. I asked what she’d meant by “the baseboards”, and someone explained that it was running a wet paper towel or rag along all of the baseboards in the house, in order to get and keep them clean. I got to watch one of his siblings (perhaps it was his middle sister) then do just that, going along quickly on her knees, cleaning the baseboards.

After that, I began to wonder how my family’s baseboards stayed clean, seeing as I had never noticed anyone cleaning them in any way, and certainly not in the way my boyfriend’s family did it. I think I never asked anyone about this, but merely wondered privately what magic was at work.

Unfortunately, though, this opened me up to a whole new world of cleaning and cleanliness. As if I hadn’t already had enough criteria for what determined a place’s (and its residents’) cleanliness, I now had this new one called “baseboards”. Everywhere I went, of baseboards were in view, I was suddenly aware of how clean they were.

Nowadays, it has calmed down a bit, as it is no longer a new concept for me. However, I still notice them (and judge places and people by their cleanliness, of course). In Japan, they have often been unclean, sometimes even layered up with dirt and dust bunnies. (Actually, there is an extreme amount of dust bunnies at my schools – I don’t understand how they all develop, not why so many of them have to end up right by my desk, of all places.) And, every time I find these baseboards, two thoughts occur for me. Okay, well three.

1) Gross.

2) I want to leave now.

3) They need to get in board with John’s mom on this one.

(John is the old high school boyfriend, in case you didn’t gather that.)

And, since so many have proven unclean here, I’ve actually taken to avoiding looking at them. I hardly have I think about it anymore, I just realized – I simply don’t look at them. Thus I am able to maintain one small piece of this sanity a good handful of people in the world believe that I truly do have. 😛

So,… go check out cleaning your baseboards, kay? Or not. Just don’t invite me over, if you haven’t checked them and can guarantee their cleanliness. 😛
Post-a-day 2017