There is something about a shower that feels almost life-saving. I was in a huge sort of panic, which kept increasing in intensity as time passed, the other night, and I just felt like the world of my life was a decided failure and blah, blah, blah. I arranged with a friend to talk briefly about this, but she still had to finish something else first. I, having just arrived home, and needing only to shower and prep for bed, took a quick shower while waiting for my friend to finish up her things.
I went into it almost shaking with concern and nerves, yet came out of it just stressed a bit. No more feelings of insanity or utter failure remained. Yes, I was still a bit down and out, and yes, I was still concerned about my somewhat immediate future. But my experience of life was completely transformed from before the shower. I was essentially a hot mess about to break down before the shower, and I came out calm and just somewhat stressed about things.
I remember putting my face under the shower head, feeling the individual streams of water clink onto my face in what felt like a hundred different individual places – in that moment, everything else disappeared. It was almost as though my brain took a break from really existing for a few seconds, and all focus and attention was freely and passively noticing these streams of water hitting my face, stimulating something refreshing within and all over my body. Nothing existed outside of that moment of cleansing. For a few breaths, I was free (so much so, that I couldn’t even have told you from what or that I was free).
The rest of the shower typically seems to be the same for me – just a shower. But the effects of it all were immense.