today’s tasks complete, and completely un-ready for tomorrow

Productivity was on my side today, it seems… and I am exhausted… and I have to get up early for a workout…

Although, it isn’t like I’m actually going to be able to be competitive at it, even though most of the other people totally will be – I’ve relatively only just begun at the gym, and so I have to do a scaled down version of the workout, anyway, let alone have a competitive time of it…

PLUS, we don’t do pull-ups with kipping at our gym, so that already is going to affect people’s times strongly… the only people with whom I could compare my time would be those from my own gym… and, even then, there’s only one person who is comparable to me in the exercise at present, and she’s currently out at a bar, and so no longer plans to be participating in tomorrow’s workout.  😛

Therefore, I guess there really is no need to worry for myself – I’ll be totally okay, however I do on the workout… it needn’t be much different from any other day at the classes (for me, anyway… everyone else can be all pumped and excited for their times, but my goal is just to show up and participate to my fullest).

With that, I am going to shower and sleep now.

Peace
Hannah

Post-a-day 2019

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Ick

I hope you’re comfortable with discussion of bodily parts and dirtiness, because that is what follows here. 😛

I’ve just got to say: What is the deal with toenails?

Every time I shorten them, or even clean some fuzz (from the socks I’d just removed) out of them, it smells so stinky!

My feet typically do not smell bad.

And I never notice anything coming from the toenails.

Except, of course, when trimming them.

Am I really struggling that much with keeping them clean?…. is it actually that dirty underneath them, because I don’t clean them well enough???

That’s the only explanation I can imagine… and it totally freaks me out.

Totally.

I mean, am I carrying around grime in my feet all the time, and it only goes away by cutting the nail free, and, therefore, the creepy contents beneath it???

Eeeew!

That’s just gross.

And, the thing is, it is always the same smell… it never changes, if it is there at all.

Okay, I must get something I can use specifically to clean underneath my toenails every single night, a solid scrape of clean, since clearly soap and water don’t do the job.

Yikes… what a discovery… especially for someone who has panic around dirtiness…

Haha… that irony is actually hilarious… so long as I don’t think about the actual dirty, of course… 😛

How clean are your feet and toenails, really?

Post-a-day 2019

Shower heads and Showers

There is something about a shower that feels almost life-saving.  I was in a huge sort of panic, which kept increasing in intensity as time passed, the other night, and I just felt like the world of my life was a decided failure and blah, blah, blah. I arranged with a friend to talk briefly about this, but she still had to finish something else first.  I, having just arrived home, and needing only to shower and prep for bed, took a quick shower while waiting for my friend to finish up her things.

I went into it almost shaking with concern and nerves, yet came out of it just stressed a bit.  No more feelings of insanity or utter failure remained.  Yes, I was still a bit down and out, and yes, I was still concerned about my somewhat immediate future.  But my experience of life was completely transformed from before the shower.  I was essentially a hot mess about to break down before the shower, and I came out calm and just somewhat stressed about things.

I remember putting my face under the shower head, feeling the individual streams of water clink onto my face in what felt like a hundred different individual places – in that moment, everything else disappeared.  It was almost as though my brain took a break from really existing for a few seconds, and all focus and attention was freely and passively noticing these streams of water hitting my face, stimulating something refreshing within and all over my body.  Nothing existed outside of that moment of cleansing.  For a few breaths, I was free (so much so, that I couldn’t even have told you from what or that I was free).

The rest of the shower typically seems to be the same for me – just a shower.  But the effects of it all were immense. 

Post-a-day 2017

Shower Power

I need to have either a personal assistant of sorts or a recording device in the bathroom for myself.  Practically every single day, when in the shower, I have loads of fabulous ideas (and not just about writing, but about various parts of life).  And, by the time I turn off the water, – and yes, this is even if it is the shortest shower ever – I have forgotten almost all of it.  Then, whatever meager bits remain in the front regions of my memory at that point decide to taunt me after I rush to paper or a computer to jot them down.  So, almost every night, I have this fabulous and effortless brainstorming activity which produces innumerable magnificent ideas, all of which I promptly forget.

The feeling of loss is real, in an odd way.  And yet, it is somehow utterly ridiculous, as well.  Just plain laughable.  I mean, who has their best ideas in the shower, anyway?

Then again, who doesn’t?

I’ve really got to do something about this one… really.  😛

 

Post-a-day 2017