Sometimes, it feels embarrassing to give a compliment to someone, especially when it is something that others would be surprised at your having noticed.
In my experience, though, it is almost always worth it for all parties involved to go ahead and just give the compliment. Yes, be appropriate in how you set up giving the compliment, and the words and tone you use – have them be appropriate for the context and the receiver -, but just give it. Just say it. More often than not, it is one of the best parts of that person’s day. Possibly more.
Like how my gym owner gave me the compliment about my butt being “perfection”… I almost cried with joy at the compliment. But he also set it up appropriately, easing me into the fact that he was about to say something atypical and that he wanted to make sure I took the right way. That was weeks ago, now, and it still lights up my day most days, at least once, if not multiple times a day.
I was scared to give two separate components to a guy this past week. I gave them anyway. And it turned out very positively.
So, go ahead. Give the compliment. Acknowledge openly the beauty of those around you.
Have you ever considered your opinion on the matter of what to do when someone has something stuck in his/her teeth? I often fall to the scene from “The Emperor’s New Groove”, in which Kuzco listens to almost nothing that Yzma is saying, and is, instead, staring at a tiny piece of what looks like broccoli, which is stuck in Yzma’s teeth, as he wonders, ‘How long has that been in there?’
I have considered my position on the matter, and several times. The most recent discussion I had with others on it was at my birthday brunch last year.* We – a somewhat large group of ladies – discussed earnestly what we felt would be the appropriate way to respond, when someone has something stuck in his/her teeth. The unanimous agreement? Tell the person. No, there’s no need to be rude about it, or even to be weird about it. But do tell the person, and in a kind way, simply informing him/her of the simple fact that something is stuck in his/her teeth, providing him/her with the opportunity to remove said something, if desired.
Almost immediately after we finished our discussion on this, and we were somewhat quietly beginning new topics of discussion, we overheard a person at the table next to ours calmly point out to the guy across the table from said person that he had something stuck in his teeth… We silently chuckled… deeply and to our cores, in an almost pain, so as not to give away that we had overheard the exchange, nor that we knew the person had clearly been listening to our own discussion.
*Well, some discussions in life happen alone, you know?
Today is Valentine’s Day. And what did I do? Did I make personalized valentines, either digital or hard copy? Did I bring candies or sweets or something homemade for anyone? Did I do much of anything at all to celebrate the day? No. I 100% didn’t care about its being Valentine’s Day, and then worried about the fact that I somehow didn’t care. It’s just not me*.
And what did I actually do? I asked if someone would be able to replace me in two months, should I decide I needed to go ahead and leave my job at the end of the school year (four months earlier than the end of my contract).
And, you know what? I was terrified asking, I mentioned that in the asking, as well as my reasoning, and then, afterward, I suddenly feel a sense of liberation. A tightness has disappeared from my disposition. I don’t know what the response will be, but I asked. So now, I will have the choice to make for myself, being fully informed of options, as opposed to just rolling with the current terms of things, which I so utterly dislike. (I mostly just dislike the person I am being and am currently on a path to become.)
Anyway, here’s to new beginnings and speaking up and everything that we struggle with doing, but that is necessary for us to live with intention, power, and integrity. 🙂
*I, I know.
Update: She said no. No one can come replace me in April. So, now I know. Now I just have to look and see what I want to do with what’s in front of me! I think a lot of unreasonable requests are about to happen, so that I can find a way to make this all work. 🙂