Author: hannah.ananas

College

He had stayed home that night, because his program was intense – he had a lot of work to do.  He had been invited, but he didn’t go, because he did work instead.  His best friend went, though.  He wasn’t in such an intense program, and could spare the night off easily enough.  Everyone there had thought that the best friend had fallen asleep.  Perhaps he had.  Eventually, though, the combination of this and that and ecstasy had stopped the best friend’s heart and life.  But everyone thought the best friend was asleep.

He had stayed home that night, but his best friend hadn’t.

Contemplating how things could have gone differently, if he had gone to the party that night, now that is one easy way to go crazy.

So, I don’t.

Post-a-day 2018

We are geniuses

Delirious talkings late at night between cousins make for ingenious ideas.

Mark tonight as the night we developed and discussed the special foreign language idea, and pondered at how we could end up discussing it in a year, after its having become incredibly successful, and yet so meager and delirious had been its beginnings.

Let us see what happens…

Post-a-day 2018

Marry me, or leave me be

For some reason, I genuinely want friends, and I rather want males to leave me alone in the dating realm of life.  I usually struggle even talking with guys who show interest in me, until they seem to understand clearly that I am not interested (a process which usually includes utter bluntness, ignoring, a combination of the two, and possibly many other negative-type events).  So, it always feels like I just want guys to leave me alone – I don’t want to date anyone, so let it go, give it up -, but I’m fine with having friends and acquaintances, and actually prefer that to dating.

Yet I want to be with someone.

I think that 1) I am crazy, and 2) I am already in the mindset of being with that certain someone, whoever it is, because I feel so confident that it will be unbelievably obvious when the time comes that we finally meet and are ready to be together, that we are the ones for one another.  So, in a way, I’m already having a relationship with this someone – or myself, if I am the only one meant for me after all -, and so I naturally am bothered by guys expressing interest in me.  I already have someone, or else I won’t ever be having someone, so leave me be (on that front, anyway).

Yeah, so I suppose I have established that I am, indeed, just a little bonkers, then. 😛

Post-a-day 2018

Childhood fears growing old with the best of us

You know how the crescent rolls and biscuits come in a sort of cardboard and tin canister?  And you know how you “PEEL HERE” around the middle of the canister to open them up?  And you know that sudden POP! that comes at some unknown point in that peeling back/around process?  Yeah, I know I’m supposedly a grown-up now, but I am still slightly terrified of that pop.  I totally jumped and heard myself yelp today, when it did its little, shocking pop!.

Post-a-day 2018

Kids these days… and those days

Have you ever seen the musical West Side Story?  If you haven’t, go watch it.  I hate it.  It takes what was once for me a spectacularly and distantly comical situation of unreal reactions – Romeo and Juliet, by William Shakespeare – and places them into a modern-day(-ish) setting, and makes it more real than one could ever want it to be.  Seeing it tonight, I was disgusted by people.  It is just like how I hate Elaine in the TV show Seinfeld – she reminds me too well of people who make me angry in life, people who seem to ruin everything.  So, too, was my experience tonight.  These people were, for me, the epitome of closed-minded, undereducated, and monocultural individuals in our world.  Quite frankly, I wanted just to remove them all from the gene pool immediately, and lock them up in some way… it had me wonder if that was how the whole Australia situation started, because I found myself looking for a similar situation.  You guys can go blow yourselves up on your own private little island, but you don’t get to be a part of the real world, because you just ruin everything with your behavior.

Anyway…, the music of West Side Story is spectacular, and I love it.  Fortunately, I am already being able to disregard the story and to return to the music as I had known it before: splendidly fantastic.  I was genuinely worried after the performance if I would be unable to enjoy the music ever again, because I now had such a horrible association through the actual show.  However, I believe the association will be lost easily once I am finished sharing about the show (in less than a minute).

So, yeah.  Go watch West Side Story.  It’s good.  It really is.  It’s just a musification of what I believe is one of the worst parts of our current society… and, apparently, has been a terrible part of society for a long, long time (and quite possibly even in Shakespeare’s time, seeing as how he wrote the original scenario anyway… I always just thought he was making it up as a worst-case scenario on all fronts, not as though all the general stupidity was already taking place, but hadn’t ever been arranged in such a dramatic order.).

Post-a-day 2018

Got a sec’?

It is very difficult for me to ask people for things, to make requests of others.  No matter the situation, no matter the request, it is always somewhat – if not extremely – difficult for me to make the request.  Of course, people seem to feel as though I have a comfortable confidence when making these requests, and have admitted to me of having no knowledge of my difficulty in making requests.  But that is simply because I make sure I am as ready as possible before making the requests.  I am usually the only one present for the inevitable turmoil that precedes a request for me.  Occasionally, my mother or best friend is around for part of the paranoia, and so they understand it a bit.  However, most people have no idea what it takes for me to make the simplest of requests of them.

All of that being said, perhaps one could understand how devastating it can be for me when I am denied a request, especially one that I might have expected to have been granted easily enough.  I am always so willing to receive requests from others, and yet I cannot practice what I wish to receive from others.  I suppose I have just had a little too much rejection of sorts in the past, that I lack the confidence now.

Post-a-day 2018

walking onward

I wander, wander, wander… blindly, patiently, impatiently… expecting… something.  I revel in what is to come.  You are guiding me, even when I aim to ignore the guidance, and you accept me as I am.  You are here for me, and now I want to be there for you.  What is my next step to bring me from here to there, from me to you?  That is my question.

Post-a-day 2018