Tag: efficiency

Being of service

Today, there was much setting up done on the rodeo grounds here in Houston. I was volunteering for one of my committees. There were many times I could have left, but I stayed and worked more. I had hopes of getting something specific accomplished before leaving, but that didn’t happen. As I said to my husband on my way out, the true point of my being there was to be of service, and I was very much of service – I accomplished and helped loads. Though I was a bit sad and disappointed not to have achieved this one particular thing, and so have a tendency to be sad and disappointed about the whole day, I notice that I was actually very fulfilled every time I got to accomplish something for someone else. That is, I felt fulfillment in being of service.

Perhaps this is a big guide for me in life. In all that I do, I find true joy in making a difference for others.

Then again, there is also the thought that the reason I want to be of service is so that I become invaluable and thereby worthy of being loved.

However…

I once functioned that way. If I wasn’t being of service, I became somewhat stressed and panicked. I had to be of service. Because that was my unconscious way of guaranteeing love for myself. Once I saw that, though, I was able to do something about it.

When I am not of service now, I am not panicked. I do want to be of service. But I want to be of service. It is not longer a sort of necessity or obligation for me. It is something I can want freely, and do. And, when I am of service now, I find joy in sharing love. When I walk away from it, I am not crushed it is over or wonder if it was enough and if something will come along soon enough next… I just get to be happy about the service I gave.

So, that’s cool. I’m not sure I had really thought about that in recent years. And I may not have explained it well here, but the difference is massive to me, transformational, from back then to now. I love to serve, and I get to serve freely now. And I do it. And I love it. And I’m grateful for that.

I’m still bugged I didn’t handle what I had hoped to get done today (even though I did accomplish something very useful for myself and for many on my other rodeo team, which wasn’t expected for today), but I guess that’s okay. I didn’t speak up about what I wanted – I was embarrassed and opted not to ask. Okay, got it. Space for improvement next time. But I kept my integrity, which is more important to me than getting stopped by embarrassment on something that isn’t critical on any level. I’ve been working on speaking up, though, so I am still frustrated with myself. And it’s okay to be frustrated with myself. It’s part of my process of growing. I had a breakdown. Therefore, I now can have a breakthrough.

Work on the courage, babe. And, also, acknowledge when it feels greedy, and get clear on everything. Perhaps you need only share your concern of its being greedy to ask, and that will communicate clearly that you understand if the answer is no to the request. That’s okay. And it’s okay that you failed at this today. I’m still proud of you for keeping your integrity and for letting go of control many times today, especially considering that it often meant things being done less efficiently. Some people can only give certain service. Sometimes, being of service means letting people do things an inefficient way, so that they can contribute, too.

Thank you, God, for today. Thank you for the lessons of today. Thank you for my husband. I love him and am grateful for him constantly. Keeps us safe, please, and help us always to be our best selves through you, pursuing and fulfilling your will in our lives. Thank you. I love you, too. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Actually, inefficiency killed the cat

I just don’t do inefficiency. Period.

Perhaps it is my German blood that flows within me, but I automatically look for the best, most efficient way to do just about anything, whether I’m the one doing it or not, and whether I want to do the evaluation or not. Actually, I’ll often purposely turn my attention away from something that I am not doing, because I know that I, within seconds, will be spending brainpower on developing significant improvements on the effectiveness and efficiency of that noticed activity (e.g. ignoring the guys grinding and paving the streets this past week-ish on the street where I live).

Tonight, I got a little too frustrated for comfort with utter inefficiency. I can accept that other people will be inefficient. However, please, do not waste my time and effort with your inefficiency, people. Please. I just can’t stand it – my brain will not tolerate it for long, as logic defeats your inefficiency every time.

***I reference the second person here as a general idea, not as you, the reader, so, please, accept that I am not accusing you, the reader, of inefficiency. If you are inefficient, however, I invite you to reconsider those ways for more efficient ones. 😉 ***

For me personally, I’m not sure that I do anything in a way that I deem as inefficient. If I have to get up to do something a more efficient way than I would be doing it lying on the floor, either I will get up and do it and then lie back down, or I will rest (if it doesn’t have to be done right now) as I am, and then get up later and do the task when I am ready. I will not do a lazy version of it from my spot on the floor. I just won’t do it.

Now, let’s be real here: I am totally lazy. I do not deny it. That’s a huge part of my efficiency, really. I do not want to waste effort. Ever. And so, I aim to be as efficient as possible, and with everything that I do, so that no effort is wasted. We only have so much energy and effort and time in a day; let us not waste any of it.

So, yeah…, I was extremely frustrated tonight. I wonder what there is for me to improve within myself on this – managing how strongly it effects me, most likely – so I shall consider that specifically and intentionally over the next day or few, and see what comes up.

Post-a-day 2020

The best way to move

Japanese moving companies…?

Baller.

Need I say more?

Just watch this video.

I’ve been in the receiving end before, though without knowing the standard of how they worked, and so I was quite confused as to why they kept asking me where specifically I wanted everything placed in the apartment, and how they set up the furniture that had shown up in pieces for moving…

I wasn’t planning to keep most of what my predecessor was giving me, so I didn’t really care where most of it went…, proving for an extra-odd interaction about where to place everything… It was kind of great, due to the fact that it was so comical.

Anyway, the US would do well to learn from Japanese moving companies… very well.

Just saying.

Post-a-day 2020

The insignificant significant thought

Thought for the day, which can be answered easily by either asking a friend of mine or by doing some very quick research: I wonder when houses switched from having air vents be on the floor to having them be on the ceiling, and why – sure, cool air falls, but heat still rises…, so it makes sense (in a way) to have heat vents on the floor and cool vents on the ceiling, instead of just one location for both.

Post-a-day 2018