Tag: stress

Friends

Having friends is a very good thing. We just need to be sure they are actual friends – a friend is someone who helps you be the best person you can be – and that we are being friends to them. Relationships in which we are guided to be a lesser self, anything less than who we truly are at our core, at our best, are not the ones to maintain. But it is truly great to find true friends.

Thank you, God, for love and for friends. Thank you. Help us to grow in your love and fulfill your will. Keep us safe and well, please. Help me to be well and to sleep well in all desired circumstances. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Tomorrow

Tomorrow, I am letting some kids make up work during the morning break – while I have breakfast at school – and then meeting with my other class that I didn’t see in the schedule today. I likely will have lunch after that, possibly work out, then go home and not come back for a week and a half.

And that will be very good for me.

I still have to sort out and post all of their assignments for while I’m not there, but I will have an hour to do that before I have class and after the make-ups. So, that should be enough time to get it all handled. I also have the time in class, when they’ll be taking their test. I’d forgotten that that is also usable time for me. Hmm. Thanks for that reminder(!).

Anyway, I have work to do in the morning for school, and then I will be able to come home and do the work I need to do here, both for my home and for myself, all for our healing and stepping forward into the life we want to be leading going forward.

I am still stressed, but I am also somewhat excited.

Thank you, God, for this opportunity for healing and accomplishments. Help me to do them both effectively this next week and a half, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Wedding

I went to a wedding with my mom. It consistently reminded me both of how grateful I am for my husband and of how good of a job I did on our wedding and reception.

It also made me want to be better with my husband – for our relationship with each other to be much more love-centered and love-present than it has been for a while. We can be much better than we have been.

God, help us in this, please. Help us both to heal, and to heal with one another, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Friday

The appointment went well. I had to have blood drawn, but she didn’t tell me about it until the very end, so I was able to be calm about it until the last seven minutes or so before it actually happened. And that was a good way to have it for me!

As far as the rest of it all goes, it was mostly very good news, plus a touch of slightly annoying but expected and totally fair news. A good outcome so far.

Now, I just am waiting for the blood test results. I hope they are clean and clear and under control, so life may proceed freely again.

Thank you for the good experience this morning with the doctor. Thank you for letting me make my last class, so I can still get paid something for the day. Please, make the balance bike safe and effective for Grace. Help us to tidy everything well tomorrow morning and to have a great crawfish bloom tomorrow afternoon. Also, please, help to heal W. Please. Bring him back to you fully, please, that he may truly heal and become who you call him to be. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Appointment

Well, I scheduled an appointment today. It seemed absurdly irrelevant, given that it was so far into the future and was about something that just happened. I said as much after the call ended. Within ten minutes, however, I had a call back from the office. ‘The doctor said to squeeze you in tomorrow. Can you do that?’ No, I didn’t want to risk missing the whole day of school and not getting paid – that would turn a $40/$80 appointment into a $240/$280 appointment. But I also need to have the appointment, and kind of asap. So, this is the only option if I want it handled now.

I begrudgingly accepted the appointment.

My mom adjusted her schedule to go with me. I am grateful. I am nervous about the whole thing, as I care very much about what might come of it. I just hope it all goes well and all is safe and good, and I make it to school in time still to get paid for the day.

God, help me to heal and to earn money to care for my family well financially, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Still here

Still here, being angry..

I’ve shared with a handful of co-workers at this point, and that ha scariest helped immensely. I’m still craggy and pissed off at regular life at school each day, but it helps, nonetheless.

I’ve started actually typing out a list of all the crap with which I have been dealing with my job this year, all the unfairness. I’ve reached out for contributions from my mom and husband, as well was a co-worker who has been there to hear it all and help me through a lot of it throughout the year so far. I think I’ll ask another coworker for his input, too, tomorrow. Then, once I’ve gathered all the points, I’ll put them in order and in a letter, and send a printed and a digital copy to the principal early next week, I guess. If I am granted the requested meeting with him sooner than that, then I will have it ready to hand him in that meeting. Whatever the case, my points will be communicated and documented, and I can move forward complete on it all, having been in clear communication.

Anyway, though I’m really relieved about that, I’m still utterly exhausted. All this emotion and all this lack of sleep has been especially tough this week.

And I really miss the dog. I miss the future we were living into, becoming a family of four. Now, we are a hopeful but woeful family of two. My husband is my dreams come true, of course. But the rest of this has been sacrificial suffering, without our understanding the ultimate goal of the suffering, which has made it al the harder.

Nonetheless, I am exhausted, and so I am going to sleep now. Getting closer and closer to being in bed when I truly want to be these days(!). So, yay for that(!). 9:30 lights out tonight.

Thank you, God, for the home and bed and husband. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

:/

Our dog is still dying. My husband thinks she’ll be stubborn and hold on as long as possible. I’m hoping and praying that she’ll let go in her sleep… and tonight would be great for that, because she is just so clearly falling apart and struggling at this point. The vet said she has numbers “off the chart” for her kidneys, which means big time kidney failure, which means her body is, basically, filling with toxins and, I guess, killing her from the inside…? Whatever the case, it sounds dreadful and she is a sad sight to behold whenever she tries to go anywhere.

She did wander around both the back and front yards today, though, and for a good chunk of the day. All willingly.

But she also just kind of toppled over several times, and she looked like she was about to topple over almost the entire time.

She clearly loves my husband very much, and shows it still. She likes me, too, but nowhere near the same as she likes him.

We both love her, and this is hard for us, seeing how hard it is for her.

God, help her to find ease and comfort, please. Release her of this burden and grant her your peace, please, and by your hand. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Headache

I got errands done today and am very delighted about having done them myself, as well as having them done period.

However, I have this headache that I’ve had since about five PM, and I cannot seem to shake it. I’ve drunk water, spent time in the quiet, eaten lots of food… it seems it just just be a sleep headache (though I slept a lot last night, I believe).

So, I guess I’ll go to bed now, even though I am just at the start of a movie for the evening.

Goodnight, all.

Post-a-day 2024