To me, courage is being afraid and doing what is needed anyway. Today, I had courage. And the meeting went really well. A couple very important things have now been both communicated and sorted out. There is space now to address a couple other minor things. And I feel incredibly heard, justified, and supported by my administration.
Thank you, administration. And thank you, God. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
Tomorrow, I have the meeting with the administrator to discuss both things that have not been appropriate and my future with the school. We shall see how it goes, of course, but I am a bit nervous. In a way, I want to be embraced and want not to be rejected. However, more than either of those, I just want to be clear as to my future with this school. If I get to stay here, I will be delighted. If I do not get to stay here, I eventually will be delighted by whatever comes up on my path. Whatever the case, I will be okay and I will be in God’s hands. I am just currently really struggling with this lack of clarity. When I have nothing clear towards which to work, I struggle to work. I know that knowing, whatever the direction, will make all the difference in helping me finish out this year strongly and effectively, both for me and for my students.
So, whether I’ll be crying in frustration at being rejected or feeling hopeful, I hope I get a clear answer tomorrow morning.
Dear God, I pray to speak the words that communicate my points effectively and appropriately. Help me to speak best to the listening tomorrow in the meeting, and help me to learn exactly what I need to know to proceed best in my work and in my life. Keep us safe and in your graces, please. Thank you for this life and your guidance. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
It’s funny how today feels like a whole week later than yesterday, all because everything shifted. I have a game plan, and I put it into action fully today. I still have more to do, but major progress has been made. I am trusting God to guide me, and I am taking the strides I feel he is calling me to make.
Thank you, God, for this opportunity. Help me to embrace it fully and to pursue and fulfill fully your will. And keep us well and happy and safe and with you, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
Today has been a breakdown day. I had a couple extremely helpful conversations around the breakdown. As always, it takes a breakdown in order to have a breakthrough. Today has been no exception. I guess I have been needing this breakdown, because I seriously have been needing a breakthrough around my work. I think I have clear steps that I am excited to take tomorrow and onward.
Thank you God for this support in this opportunity. Help me to pursue exactly what you need me to pursue around my work. Show me clearly my next step, and I will trust you and take it. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
Having OCD really, really…, really sucks, sometimes.
But I am grateful to be married to a man who loves me so well and whom I love.
…
But OCD can just really suck.
God, help to heal me, please. Ease our communication struggles with one another, and help us to find comfortable and easy communication, especially on the hard moments with one another. Thank you for this man, my husband, and this opportunity to grow together and through and with you. In your name, I pray. Amen.
P.S., God. Would you make clear for me my next step regarding my work, please? I feel a change coming, but am unclear right now what specifically to do in the moment. Help me to see it clearly, so that I may do it, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
Well, we were supposed to have a Texas flag that flew over the capitol building on our wedding day… only the will of God can make that happen now. My man will look into it to find out. God willing, he will get one. If not, I asked him to get one for the anniversary of the day we met. Not exactly the same, but still cool.
I was really looking forward to this for us. But it wasn’t my task to manage, and I forgot all about it until today. We shall see what happens, though. I trust that God will give us exactly what we need to be our best selves, and that is the ultimate goal.
God, thank you for this life. Help us to find the joy and fun and community pride that this small yet significant luxury offers to us. Help us always to pursue and fulfill your will. Thank you for my husband and his love and your love. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
Happy Groundhog Day and day we almost used for our wedding date!!
Actually, I almost cried several times today. And not even over anything individually worth crying. I was just so pushed to a point that all the normally manageable hassles and annoyances and unkindnesses were just too much for me today… I could take it, but I was nearly unwilling to take it… I didn’t want to make the effort anymore.
I apologized or clarified to my students several times today that I was not trying to be mean or harsh, and that I was just stressed and exhausted and worn down, and I didn’t mean for it to come out negatively toward them. I didn’t want to have to be saying that to them, but it was the responsible thing to do. And they got it. A few of them were also very worn down from the week for their own reasons, so they could relate at least somewhat.
But, man, were my buttons pushed today… and I so was close to not caring anymore and throwing out reason for revenge. Sometimes, people just [curse-word] suck. Ugh(!!!!!!!)!
Thank you, God, for this free day tomorrow to recover and sort out storing clothes in our marital home. (And thank you for our marital home!!!!) Keep us safe, please, and show us clearly our next step in pursuing and fulfilling your will. Help us to see clearly when to make a baby, please. Or just handle that for us when it is time, please, and help us to trust you on it. Thank you for this life and our marriage. In your name, we pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
I know most brides want to look at photos like crazy after their wedding. But I am enthralled by the videos of the music from our wedding. If we had a play count for the Ave Maria that my friend sang to start the Mass, I’d be probably close to twenty at this point. And I’ve only had the video since Tuesday night. It’s Thursday night right now. She just sang it so spectacularly and with so much love… it’s hard not to listen to it on repeat… and to play it for everyone I know. (I already played a clip of a practice recording she had sent me the other week for one of my classes… This recording is even better than that.)
I was a little worried when a lot of the photos didn’t turn out. I was very worried when the Zoom sound wasn’t set right, and I found that none of the music had registered on the computer at all, and so the recording of the Mass had no genuine music in it – just blips here and there of random sounds that make it sound like maybe music was playing somewhere in the background… or something? However, I expressed my sadness and frustration and let it go.
And then God blessed me.
My brother truly took to heart that I wanted the music recorded on my man’s phone. I only made him confirm that he would do a recording of the Ave Maria, but had expressed that I truly wanted all the music recorded, if it were at all possible and feasible. And he had made it happen. I was crying in relief watching all the videos he had done. He had basically gotten the entire service that had to do directly with us or with songs. The only one he missed was one that probably wouldn’t have turned out great anyway, as my cousin had been too far from the microphone for it in the first place. ::shrugs
But I accept happily – with immense joy, really – the videos my brother did get. And, as a special bonus blessing, he also got most of the photos I had truly wanted, too. I think my cousins got in their heads about what wedding photography was “supposed” to be, and didn’t remain present to what I had specifically requested. I’d given them a list of about twenty photographs I wanted, and they were extremely open to interpretation, but were clear and easy to make happen. But, like I said, I think they got in their heads and created a stress from pressure that didn’t actually help them do the job requested, and they missed the majority of the opportunities for the photos I had wanted. The few they did get were not of very good quality as a photo – meaning not something high enough resolution etc. that I could print for the wall… which was what I had specifically requested for these photos. So, I was saddened greatly by their photos, and also disappointed. They both do great photography usually, and this was not at their par.
However, my brother seemed to nail it on a good handful of those photos I had requested. Not just the photo framing and contents, but also the quality and resolution. I haven’t gone through them all specifically yet, but I definitely saw a handful that were just what I had hoped to get. So, we might only have five good photos, but we actually have them now, which is beautiful.
Thank you, God, for this unexpected blessing. Help me to release this depression and stress I have carried with me lately, especially around my job and finances. Help me to see clearly and to take my next step in fulfilling your will as I take care of my family. Keep us safe, happy, healthy, and holy with you. Thank you for this life and for my husband. Thank you. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
How long until I’ll be able to catch up on my sleep? I keep getting so close, yet never quite make it. Perhaps I will be able – and have a need to do so – to make it a priority for the whole weekend this weekend.
Because I am just plain exhausted.
God, help us to find vitality and good sleep each day and night respectively. Keep us safe, and make us happy, healthy, and holy with and in you. In your name, we pray in gratitude. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
hannah ananas 