I find myself yet again thinking on the idea of exclusivity in a dating (or marital) relationship. We say we want an exclusive relationship. But what does that truly mean?
If we have a problem, we go only to one another?
If that is the case, then why would we not want to seek a doctor for medical advice, or a teacher on a specific topic on which we may seek knowledge. Our partner is not necessarily the one who will have the answers we need, and likely doesn’t not expect us to rely on him or her for things outside of his or her own specialties.
What about that, when we have special news, we go first to one another?
Well, what happens to the best friends and sisters and mothers and brothers in this case? They have held such roles for most of our lives, oftentimes. Are they suddenly replaced by this partner’s having come around? Or, at any rate, have they lost their places as our confidantes in life? We do not expect them to do that, I believe. It is more that the partner joins the ranks of such individuals for us.
These are merely two examples of my thoughts on this matter. Their having been said, I move to my great point of concern.
Is it more so a matter of sexual exclusivity that we seek, when we declare a desire for an exclusive relationship?
That thought has been bugging me for quite some time now…
I want to deny it, but I cannot do so effectively yet. And I’m not sure if I ever will be able to do so.
I know that I want to be, in a way, mentally ever-present for my partner, and I want the reverse so, too. I want to be sexually exclusive with one another, and because we both want that specifically – not because we are restraining ourselves in some way from acting on desires with others. I want us to trust and to love and to want to be with one another in all ways, and for us to be okay whenever we are apart – we are so confident in one another’s love and support. We will be always there for one another, and we will speak honestly and openly with one another.
And I don’t want to be in any other kind of relationship with a potential partner, even at the very beginning.