The friend drop

You know how people have a tendency to disappear for a while from a friendship, when they start dating someone?

I, myself, did it once in high school (and promptly learned that it is not worth it and that I’ll not do it again…, I had been at the other extreme the time before then, spending so much time with the friend and too little with the boyfriend, that I lost the boyfriend!), and it took a long time for me not to feel bad about it regarding the friend that I almost lost.

Anyway, so I think it happens rather regularly in people’s lives, right?

We probably all know someone or many someones who have done it.

But have you ever had two friends doe it at once, because they start dating one another?

I had that happen several years ago… I was extremely excited just these two friends from different parts of my life had met and were dating one another.

But they slowly began to disappear from my life… now, the two are married and about to have a baby, and I don’t remember the last time we talked or even messaged one another… it’s been almost as long as their relationship, really.

Slowly, but surely, they each disappeared from the friendships they had held with me, and I now feel like I barely know either one of them.

And, while I miss them, I miss them from before they got together… who they are now as a couple is a unit with which I can’t seem to connect… and so I don’t actually find myself wanting to spend any time with them nowadays… they aren’t the same individual fiends I loved having in my life… as it goes with people’s getting together, they are different from before… and I don’t exactly like them now.

I don’t dislike them, I believe… but I definitely don’t like them.

And I am still undetermined as to whether it is how they actually are now, or if it is more how they simultaneously abandoned me and our friendships… I am thinking that it is both, approximately a 60/40 split, respectively.

Anyway… odd how that came to mind tonight… hmm…

Post-a-day 2020

You’ve got mail

During the credits of the film “You’ve Got Mail”, there’s a song that comes on where a guy is singing about how he is going to sit right down and write himself a love letter, ‘and pretend it’s from you.’  I’ve been thinking about it since then, and I’m going to do just that for myself.  I don’t know who you are, exactly, but I believe you are out there somewhere, and, if we were together – meaning a pair, duo – now, you might send me this email/letter.


Hey, hon.

Just sending you a quick message.

First off, I love you.
Secondly, I miss you (Duh, of course I do.).  And, though we are almost literally worlds apart, I am okay, because you love me and care about me and are with me.
Thirdly, I love you.  Just so we’re clear.  ūüėČ  You have developed and changed so much these past few months, and I can hardly wait to get to know and to love all the new parts there are to you.  (I’m being somewhat sappy, I know, but I get to do that every so often, right? Right.)

(Now to the body paragraph(s).)

I hope you had a great day today.  We’re just getting started over here, and it’s a beautiful day.  How is your breathing?  Short, hot, and firey today, I presume, since it was a Monday.  Hopefully, you’ve stretched them out to long, slow, and deep by bedtime – I want you resting well while you are able to sleep, you know?  You’ve got to take care of yourself… keep your balance, now that you’re back standing again.

By the way, I think five minutes a day dedicated to your abdomen would get you the comfort you’re wanting for your beach-going.  You could do two and a half minutes just before sleeping, and another two and a half just after you wake up in the mornings.  That would give you a full five, and a significant improvement for that slightly-tubbier-than-usual belly of yours.  (We’ll be a rockin’ bods pair when you’re back here and we head beachside.)

Loving you with the sun and moon, babe,


Dancing is a global language

Tonight, I was reminded of a speech I recently wrote for a speech contest. ¬†No, I was not even a finalist in the contest (Speculation has informed me that previous years’ finalists had all tied in somewhere, somehow, that Japan is amazing and totally the best place ever. ¬†Seeing as mine has none of that in it, guess I had no chance at all, if that actually is a factor in the contest.), and I’m okay with that. ¬†It wasn’t my best work, though it was a decent run for a rushed 45 minutes (including editing with a friend) around 10:30 on a Wednesday night, and on a topic I felt could have been significantly better stated (“Anything that deepens global understanding, other than political, religious, or commercial themes”).

I’ve put the speech below, however, let me say why I thought of the speech. ¬†I ended up going dancing tonight, as a follow-up to a bizarre sending off for a friend (literally ran up to the friend on the street,¬†walked the three minutes to the station, and parted ways), because I didn’t want to have spent $15 and an hour and a half for only four minutes of moderate enjoyment, and I neither had other plans for the evening nor work in the morning.

While at this dance thing, I delighted in the constant flow of English-to-French-to-Japanese-to-Frech, the forever exchanging of dance partners, and the true enjoyment of our unity and opportunity for us all to be together and at such ease.  As a group, we have little else in common when you remove the dancing.  But it is something we each learned in our home towns and cultures, which has now brought us together from many places around the world (really, I think we almost all were from different places, although some were just from different parts of Japan).  And, even though we might never have come to know one another in any other part of life, we still ended up spending time together as though we were some of the best of friends.

I had met most of these people only once or twice, but that is the power of partner dancing. ¬†We work together in an intimate yet comfortable setting, one-on-one, to create something beautiful. ¬†We help each other learn, and we share what we have learned with one another. ¬†It’s like the best kind of school, in dance form.

Anyway, that’s all I have to say about that for now, so I leave you with my speech here:

My name is Hannah, and I do partner dancing. ¬†Every dance competition, I am terrified walking out onto that dance floor – ‚ÄúI am going to mess up! ¬†And in front of all of these people!‚ÄĚ I cry inside my head. ¬†But, every time, I dance anyway. ¬†I give it my best, knowing that I will make mistakes (which I do), and I have an amazing time. ¬†Not to mention, I regularly place and even win the contests. ¬†Every single time I am grateful that I danced, even though I was terrified, but especially because I made loads of mistakes. ¬†Why? ¬†Because that is who I am. ¬†I am a beautiful, confident dancer who makes mistakes all the time. ¬†And every time I do make mistakes, I work with my partner to use them, and to transform them into something beautiful and intentional. ¬†We do the same when my partner makes mistakes, too. ¬†We work together to turn something accidental and potentially dangerous into something intentional, unique, and beneficial to the overall dance. ¬†When we do this, we each learn how the other responds to errors, as well as how to adapt ourselves to work with those responses. ¬†By the end of our three-to-four minutes together, we move flawlessly – any onlooker might think we had been partners for years. ¬†Why? ¬†Because we worked together on something difficult, ever listening to one another.

Marianne Williamson, an American writer, said that ‚Äėour deepest fear is not that we are inadequate‚Äô, but that ‚Äėwe are powerful beyond measure.‚Äô ¬†When we allow ourselves to make mistakes, we are opening up the doors that have been holding us back in life, and we give ourselves the chance to become greater than we ever expected, by learning something new about ourselves and about those around us. ¬†When I make a mistake dancing, I not only learn how I respond to error, but also how my partner responds to my making the error. ¬†Plus, my partner learns how I respond to error. ¬†Then, when we both work together to resolve the issue, we learn new ideas from each other, and we grow together, becoming more efficient and more powerful as individuals and as a couple.

So, what does this have to do with deepening global understanding?  Every time I travel, I feel a sense of solitude and of being completely lost in this new world around me.  And every time I go dancing in this new place, I not only feel at ease, but part of this new world around me.  Every time it is terrifying.  Not because I suspect it to go poorly, but because I know that there is no limit to how amazing an experience it can turn out to be.  I have lived in various countries these past several years, and every time some of my best friends have come out of dancing.  Why?  Because not only do we love dancing, but we regularly make mistakes together, and we always work together to solve them.  And, in the process of making these friends, I have learned through them more about their culture than any class or book could have taught me.

In conclusion, if you want to deepen your understanding of the world, and better it through understanding one another, and learning from mistakes together, I invite you all to dance.  Thank you.



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