Tag: prayer

You aren’t crazy

My mom has always said that crazy people don’t wonder if they’re crazy – they just think they’re normal. Today, I was blessed with the opportunity to speak with someone who was able, with spectacular grace and ease, to state clearly that what I have experienced throughout my life does not make me crazy, but actually one of many. I’ll keep it at that for now, but he made sure to check in with me to discuss further later in the day, and then followed up to confirm I had his e-mail and phone number, so that he could help get me set up with a spiritual director in town. And not just any spiritual director, but someone who is acquainted with my situation, and can support me in serving God and His people through this gift – after all, as I am coming to understanding, this gift is one specifically intended, not for one’s own spiritual growth, like the gifts of the Holy Spirit are, but for the good of all. So, yeah… I guess I now will learn to be like Spiderman, and make the world a better place in some new and yet undetermined way.

God, you certainly have some crazy surprises sometimes. I said I’d trust you, and so I do and shall. I definitely appreciate your sense of humor and irony. I love you. Thank you for the blessings that continue to grow around me in my life. Help us always to pursue and follow you and your will for us. Thank you for my man, my fiancé. Grant us grace and ease these next two weeks especially, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Ave, Maria

How long is too long for looking up performances and comparing the Schubert and Bach versions of “Ave Maria”? I spent probably close to two hours doing just that tonight, all because my mom said the Bach is the right one, and people usually only sing the first verse, making it only half the prayer… but the Schubert one is the one with two versus… and that has almost every performance on YouTube as only the first verse, the first half of the prayer…

They’re both beautiful, to be clear. But here is a spectacular performance of the Bach version and the only full-length performance I found of the Schubert one that was of high quality recording.

Schubert

Bach

Thank you, God, for such beautiful music and for those who can perform it beautifully. Heal us all, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Quizlet

I have been using my first Quizlet and the first shared with me the past two days. A fellow classmate shared his Chinese flash cards with me, and I then went and added pronunciations to them to make my own set. Now, I can practice them as both just characters and meanings and with pronunciations, too.

I still need to make my own hard copy set, but this is good practice for now, and it took minimal time to ‘create’ them, so I accept the do-for.

Thank you, God, for this wonderful chance to learn and expand and improve myself, both as a person and student, but also as a teacher, too. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

P.S. Please, keep my man and the dog and their stuff all safe, please. Give him the confidence and the words he most needs. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Happy Thanksgiving

As usual, my family and I celebrated Thanksgiving today, the Friday that follows the official holiday. And, as usual, we had a lovely time together – I very much enjoyed being with those who attended and am very grateful for the time we all spent together.

However, I am absolutely exhausted, and so must sleep. My man is driving to Mexico tonight and then tomorrow for the long haul actually into and through Mexico. As usual, I am scared.

Dear God, thank you for this lovely day and family. Thank you for my man. Please, help him to be safe on his trip. Keep him always safe, happy, healthy, and holy. Help him, please, to follow and pursue your will. Bring him back home to me safely, happy, healthy, holy. Watch over him and guide him, please. And help me to trust in You and Your protection, and to release this fear I am presently carrying. Help me to find comfort and ease in Your promise and love. Keep him and the dog and the car and all the stuff safe, please. Bless his driving. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

This man

There is a man. The first thing I said to this man was, “Hey! Are you lookin’ for me?” He replied after a pause, “Yes, but not quite yet.” I love this man. I want to pray with this man, grow with this man, become with this man my best self for each day for the rest of my life.

And I have known this since the day I met him… that night, standing in the horse barn, loving him already and wondering how on Earth he was truly here in front of me… and knowing that he was feeling the same about me.

Thank you, God, for the absolute blessing of this man in my life. I am eternally grateful. Please, help me to do well and to do your will in this life with him. Help us both to live your love and your light through our relationship with one another. Thank you. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Possibilities

It is a good feeling when things start to feel possible.

It also can be a stressful feeling, knowing that the time has come to pick and to make things happen… fast. A fast deadline for a big-deal project is always kind of a stress ball…

God, help us to handle this all well and beautifully and perfectly with your guidance and will. Help us to fulfill these dreams you have granted us. Thank you for this life and for these new possibilities. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Signs

I pray about things. And I do that both formally and informally. Sometimes, I sit and do the sign of the cross and address God, then say things to Him and, maybe, ask Him for things, and end ‘in His name, Amen.’

Most of the time, though, I pray more in an open prayer. That is, I turn to God, both physically and mentally, throughout the day, and interact with Him. I say things to Him either in my head or aloud – usually in my head, when others are around – and I listen for His replies. He always replies, but I don’t always understand at the time. One of my biggest prayers is for clarity in my next step with everything in my life. I pray that I want, pursue, and fulfill God’s will in all that I am and in all that I do, and I always ask for clarity as to how next to step in order to do just that. And, when it is time to do something other than what I’ve been doing lately, I receive some kind of clear sign – usually in the form of a strong and almost-sudden pull, desire, calling – and I can just feel that it is God’s will pulling me forward, showing me my next step on His desired path for me.

Lately, I have been in what has felt like a sort of limbo. I see not my path forward, and I have no idea how we are going to get to what comes next – because I can feel God’s promise of what is next, but just don’t yet see or know quite what or how it is to be – though I do see what I am to do for right now. He’s told me to do well by the kids – ‘Do a good job,’ He has told me, and I feel that He means for the students.

Naturally, I started stressing at how I’m not being a good enough teacher right now, as soon as I understood that to be His present will. So, I’m working on that.

However, there are so many directions life could go in the next six months, and I find myself getting scared and stressed about that. I cannot yet see where God is taking me, and it is scaring me a bit.

But, of course, now that I’m saying all of this, my obvious answer is, Well, that would be because you are not trusting in God. No duh, banana. No duh… So, I guess it is time to trust fully in God and to let go of the not knowing. He will make sure I know when it is time for me to know. And He will take care of me. All I need do presently is continue to choose Him every day and to do His will of doing a good job. And I do. And I will.

Okay, God. I let go. You can have back this fear I’ve been picking up, and turn it into something gloriously beautiful in a new form, please. Thank you for this life, and thank you for prayer. Thank you for being with me so much and for always being ready and able to listen and, also, to respond. Thank you for your guidance. Please, help me to see exactly how to proceed to create and to realize this amazing life you are offering to me. Help me always to pursue and to fulfill your will by my life. Heal those in need of healing, please. And let me know whatever I need to know, please. In your name, I pray in immense gratitude. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Calling and Stressing

Sometimes, it feels like God is calling me in a certain direction, yet the world seems to be setting itself against my going in that direction. And sometimes, it feels like I am being offered a choice between two seemingly similar yet extremely different directions, and I truly cannot tell which is the one God is asking, recommending, calling me to pursue.

And sometimes, it’s both at the same time.

God, help me, please, to see clearly your will for me and my family and our life. Help me to see this next step clearly and to pursue and fulfill it with comfort, ease, and confidence in your guidance and will and love. Thank you for this life. Please, help me to live it at my best possible. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

The room was a buzz… with static

I went to adoration… for all of five minutes, and then I ditched. Why? I had to get out of there. Just as with every other time I have gone into that chapel, my ears were assaulted by the loud humm-buzz of what only could be a speaker not in use but on or terrible dimmable lights… as we discovered today, it was both.

I’ve been casually asking for years who is in charge of the technology of the place, but have always simply not received an answer. Today, however, when I couldn’t even stand to be in adoration, a place I wanted and love to be, I made it happen. I went to the offices and found someone who, though not officially in charge – turns out no one truly knows ‘who’s in charge’ there – had a key to all the locked doors and had authority to investigate the sound with me.

I explained to him my theory. When he had replaced the blessed sacrament back into the tabernacle, I got to troubleshooting. After only a few tries and one google search, I had my main solution: Yes, the amplifier hanging on the ceiling was left on all the time, thereby giving a constant feedback sound.

Displayed here:

After the massive sound was gone, we did find a much smaller one that ended up coming from – you guessed it – overhead dimmable lights.

Though the lights may or may not stay off (there are two sets side-by-side), I now know which ones make the buzz. As for the speaker, I wrote a note to say specifically what to turn on before each Mass and to turn it off after each Mass. Until that becomes normal for folks, I at least know how to turn it off myself. Just have to find someone with the right key… and yes, I have considered asking if I might have a copy of that key, specifically for the purpose of being able to silence the buzzing roar of the speaker when needed. We shall see what happens.

For now, though, we have a wonderful start and a functional real of possibility and plans. And I am grateful for that.

Thank you, God. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023