Tag: self-expression

Bugs bite

Someone – I shan’t say who it is – keeps letting bugs into the house, specifically mosquitos. And someone – meaning I – keeps getting bitten by said mosquitos. Ugh!

I’ve gone to bed several nights of the past two weeks with multiple mosquito bites around my body. Tonight is yet another of those night. :/

God, heal us, please. Help us to pursue your will for us, that we share your love by being our best selves in the world. In your name, I pray. And thank you. Amen.

P.S. Did I mention that I resigned from my part-time job? And, boy, am I feeling relieved and good about it. It was time, for sure. Now, just to take on the terror of self-paced school, doing it as fast as possible so that I can start earning pay again. Dear God, help me, please. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

A Mexican (Food) Stand-Off

She says in Spanish, ‘Is there another salsa? A green salsa?’ The waiter replies in Spanish that there is a cilantro, creamy green sauce that is kind of a topping sauce. ‘Yes, could we have that also, please?’ He agrees and thanks are given.

So far, they have gone through almost two normal containers of the red salsa, eaten almost entirely by him, her man, not the waiter. They continue eating the chips with the delicious red salsa.

After less than a minute, a small container of delicious-looking green creamy salsa arrives. It is smaller than the size of a shot of alcohol, much smaller than the regular red salsa dishes on the table. She looks down at the green salsa. He, her man, not the waiter, looks down at the green salsa. The two look at each other briefly before she, with a lightning-fast move, grabs the green salsa and moves it to her far corner of the table, out of his reach.

He does not share food well. He admits it fully. He devours food. Sharing happens only by speed and force, before he can finish eating, or else it usually doesn’t happen at all. They both know that this is why she has taken the salsa. Two normal dishes of red salsa have been eaten entirely by him at this point. She has full rights for her move. But he doesn’t trust her, because he wouldn’t trust himself if he’d been the one to grab the green salsa first (which he’d tried to do).

He retaliates by grabbing the chip basket and moving it to his far corner of the table.

It is a Mexican (food) stand-off. She says as much, chuckling.

They begin negotiations. ‘Let me get a scoop, and I’ll give you three chips.’ ‘Let me get that scoop for you, so you don’t take all the salsa in one scoop.’ ‘No, let me get the scoop, or I won’t give you any chips.’ ‘Then you won’t get any salsa.’ ‘Okay, put the green salsa over here for one scoop, and I’ll give you three chips.’ ‘How about I hold the salsa over here, and you can get a FAIR and small scoop yourself, then give me three chips?’

They reach an accord.

She holds it tentatively to make sure he doesn’t scoop half of it out in one go. He surprised her by confirming that his amount is okay, and even wipes a bit back on the container before asking. She approves. He eats. She asks for her chips. He gives her one.

The container is small, so she breaks the chip in half. She dips and eats one half and dips and gives the other to him. He gives her another chip, and the process repeats, repeatedly.

‘See?’ she asks. ‘I told you I would be fair with the chips and the salsa.’ He just smiles and eats another bite of chip and salsa.

After a while, she has had her fill and hands the container off to him. He devours what is left in mere moments, it seems. They both know she was right to take the salsa, though he doesn’t want to admit it, and that’s okay for both. They got the chips and salsa they had wanted, and they got them together, which was what had mattered most.

………..

I just hope you can see us being idiots at the restaurant tonight. 😛

Post-a-day 2023

Resigned…

But not in the poor emotional way – in the really good way(!) and from my part-time job. Yay!

I actually felt giddy after sending it in. My man said it perfectly that this is just an opening for what’s next now. I am ready to move forward from that work, and be my best self elsewhere.

Thank you, God, for this opportunity and this blessing. Thank you for this chance to develop myself and to learn how to be more and more myself each day and in more circumstances through this job I’ve had the past two+ years. Help me to use all of that to move forward powerfully and to fulfill your will. Thank you. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Being of service

This week, I chose to be of service. I was only signed up for work on my rodeo committee on Sunday and on Wednesday. However, I was there and working every day this week. I didn’t have to be there. I just genuinely wanted to be there. And, once I was there, I always asked what our leaders needed. Usually, they had an answer. Oftentimes, I didn’t even need to ask – just by seeing me, they would ask me to go do this or that. Why? Because I’m reliable and I get stuff done, they said.

And I am grateful for that. All of it. Thank you for this amazing week, God. Thank you. Please, help me continue to be of service and to learn and to better myself and to make a positive difference in the world. And, if you would, help me to do that while earning lots of money, please, so that I may care even more so for my family and loved ones . In your name, I pray. Amen.

P.S. I hope everyone had a happy Texas Independence Day today!

Post-a-day 2023

Applications

No, I do not want another app on my phone. I don’t care how great of an idea you may think it is – I’m not adding another app, just so I can use it for fifteen seconds once a month for whatever your thing is. Figure something else out, please, because I’m tired of everyone demanding that we have their app on our phones. If we did that, no phone would work, as no phone has enough space for all the apps everyone keeps trying to make us download all the time.

Ugh…(!)

Post-a-day 2023

Happy Birthday to me

My man planned to take me to dinner for my birthday tonight, since we agreed to plans with some neighbors for tomorrow night, my actual birthday. (It’s comfortable drinks with them at their house in celebration of her birthday, also the same day as mine, so it makes sense.) He spent a lot of time planning our flight to nearby College Station, recalling that I had mentioned recently that flying there just for dinner would be fun.

However, for my birthday, it has always been important to me to see my aunt (who is also my godmother). Usually, she makes every effort to make it happen. However, she and my uncle recently moved, and aren’t anywhere near as close as they used to be. So, it didn’t make sense for her to drive three hours plus each way just to have dinner with me the day before my birthday (because I was busy all day today and will be busy most of the day tomorrow, too).

In a last-minute change of events, my man determined that we could change the flight plan almost entirely, pass College Station by, and go to Waco to have dinner with my aunt and uncle. He was going to an airport of which he had never even heard, let alone visited, and was more than doubling the distance… and at night. Despite all the changes and uncertainties and newness of this plan, my man came through stupendously. Yes, I still had times of real terror and panic – how could I not? But, for the most part, he did a great job of informing me about what was happening with all the adjustments and all throughout the flights, and helping me thereby to be somewhat calm and alleviated from panic when compared to the previous and only time I’d flown with him before tonight.

I was running late getting home, due to traffic and being overly helpful volunteering at setup today for one of my rodeo committees, so we got to the airport way later than planned. Then, with the change of flight plan, my man had some things to sort out newly before we could depart. That meant that, instead of having dinner around 7:30pm, we ended up arriving to Waco at 9pm. We ate at one of the only restaurants open late in Waco – though, it supposedly is a big deal one, culturally there – which was heavy southern food, and had an amazing time with my aunt and uncle. Their car was completely decorated with streamers and mini balloons and shiny unicorn cut-outs all throughout the backseat when they picked us up, and it was quite the delight.

After dinner, they stood out where they could see the full runway, and watched us take off, wave the wings, and then do a quick low-flying pass over the runway, before we headed home. Until tonight, apparently, they hadn’t known that my man even has a private pilot license. Well, now they know(!). 😛 Haha

The flight home had some tiny technology/mechanical issues, and his fidgeting with controls to see about sorting it out somehow really freaked me out. In my head, something was going to go just perfectly wrong that a wire somewhere would spark and catch fire… Really, though, I just don’t know enough about how planes work, I think, in order to feel comfortable with such a scenario as we had tonight. I struggled immensely to let go of this fear and to give it up to God. And I had to do it over and over again, every time he tried to fiddle with it and fix it again. I was seriously distressed and working very hard to trust in God that the outcome would be His will, whatever it may be. I trusted my man’s own skill and training, but I had much trouble trusting the plane itself and God’s will.

Within ten minutes of landing back at the home airport, fog overtook the whole area. Had we been ten minutes later, we likely would have been unable to land (for safety reasons) due to the immense fog. We were just in time.

Now, as I’m falling asleep anyway, I’m going to sleep.

Post-a-day 2023

Hmm

It’s almost my birthday – in two days – and I still have nothing planned for myself. I wonder why I’ve usually felt like people don’t care about my birthday…

Anyway, I started with daily mass and reconciliation last year, and it served me well. I’m very much interested in starting the same way for this year, too!

God, guide me, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Rodeo time

Well, our first rodeo shift went rather well, especially for a first shift and for only the second day of cook-off. We only got yelled at once, and it was by someone on the committee who clearly needed to ‘be in charge’ and ‘be the boss’ for the minute, without having any idea what actually was going on in the moment. And we got it all handled quickly, anyway, and that person left, because her shift was over, anyway. Aside from that, things were mostly normal and good.

My mom and I stopped in a bathroom on our way out, and I realized then that I hadn’t yet seen myself in a mirror in my rodeo uniform. I had always looked at myself in the mirror during rodeo, in our uniform, I mean, and felt that I looked so blah and not-womanly and not-pretty. I always looked a little bit of a mess, somehow, even if I was freshly cleaned and brushed and whatnot. There was just something about it I couldn’t seem to shake off: I didn’t look very good in our uniform, the black cowboy hat, the vest, and the white collared button-down shirt.

Last year was the first time that, suddenly, I not only didn’t look not-very-good anymore, but I actually looked pretty. I looked like a woman. I looked beautiful. I was wearing the same exact uniform as the year before, the same shirt and vest and hat. And I had the same long hair, just a few inches longer. Yet something was different, because I was pretty. It made me smile like crazy whenever I looked in the mirror. And I noticed that I looked at myself much more often than in the past. It felt good to see myself looking so good. It was the opposite of a Catch 22.

This year, I have short hair. And I’ve been a bit of a mess off and on in terms of looking feminine and pretty and all, ever since I cut it. It’s just about shoulder length now, and I was worried I’d be back to looking boyish again, and very much not pretty.

And yet, when I saw myself in the mirror tonight, I was shocked. My hair somehow looked perfect and cute and girly and pretty. I looked beautiful, gorgeous, good. And so it began again, smiling at myself in the mirror. I look forward to seeing more of this beautiful woman in the near future. This truly shows that what’s going on in our heads impacts a lot in terms of how we appear physically. When I’m happy, healthy, holy in my head, so, too, isn’t body. When I’m uneasy, stressed, and feel like I’m not worth it, so, too, is my body.

Thank you, God, for this blessing of joy that has caused such wonderful beauty in my life. Thank you for this life, and thank you for this love. Help me to share your love, especially with those who so openly share love with me. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023