Month: January 2024

Big Brother

It seems that someone has been watching me via my security camera in my home. It was maybe a few weeks back that I had thought my man was on the camera and about to talk to me. I said hi to him, but got no response. I then called him, only to find out that he hadn’t been on the camera at all… and it has happened several times since then. I wasn’t sure what the deal was – perhaps it was merely a weird camera thing with the nighttime lighting, shifting back and forth.

But then tonight happened. While it was on – kind of like the live viewing and clicking the microphone to speak – I heard an 18-wheeler’s horn honk… through the camera.

My man was not on it. I confirmed. It spooked us both. We changed out passwords immediately. And yet, it just happened again…

I reported the issue to the company. We shall see if they are able and willing to track the recent access of the device. I know there was a massive data leak recently for just about everything, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that was what happened, that a password got into the wrong hands.

God, please, free us from this potentially dangerous and definitely inappropriate invasion of privacy. Keep us always safe and pursuing and fulfilling your will, please. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Back to school

Tomorrow is the first day back at school for the Spring semester! I’m simultaneously chill and stressed. I basically have to create my entire two lessons in the morning before I have class. And I need to sit in on first period with the paternity leave sub, just to support and also to share how I sit in on the class regularly. So, that’s an hour less time I’ll have for making lessons.

God, help me to be productive and efficient tomorrow, please. Help me to be a good teacher for my students, and a good support for my colleagues. Keep us safe, please. And thank you for my man. Please, heal my grandmother, give her physical strength, and giver her renewed mental strength. In your name, I pray in gratitude and trust. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

You aren’t crazy

My mom has always said that crazy people don’t wonder if they’re crazy – they just think they’re normal. Today, I was blessed with the opportunity to speak with someone who was able, with spectacular grace and ease, to state clearly that what I have experienced throughout my life does not make me crazy, but actually one of many. I’ll keep it at that for now, but he made sure to check in with me to discuss further later in the day, and then followed up to confirm I had his e-mail and phone number, so that he could help get me set up with a spiritual director in town. And not just any spiritual director, but someone who is acquainted with my situation, and can support me in serving God and His people through this gift – after all, as I am coming to understanding, this gift is one specifically intended, not for one’s own spiritual growth, like the gifts of the Holy Spirit are, but for the good of all. So, yeah… I guess I now will learn to be like Spiderman, and make the world a better place in some new and yet undetermined way.

God, you certainly have some crazy surprises sometimes. I said I’d trust you, and so I do and shall. I definitely appreciate your sense of humor and irony. I love you. Thank you for the blessings that continue to grow around me in my life. Help us always to pursue and follow you and your will for us. Thank you for my man, my fiancé. Grant us grace and ease these next two weeks especially, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Life

I need only be myself. Everything will work out beautifully and perfectly, if I choose always to be myself and to be myself fully and truly. God made me in his image and through his love, with his creativity. I am perfect through God, and God always will guide me.

Thank you for all of that, God. Keep us safe, please, and always in your love. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Progress

We got a lot settled today. We went to the reception venue and had a lot of questions answered, and several tasks removed from our list. We also had an awesome time being kids there as a whole after the meeting part. It is an awesome and nerdy museum, after all.

Progress was made on the dress and measurements after the museum fun. Okay, and then a bit more museum fun.

I hit almost-final detail stages with the catering stuff. Have a follow-up e-mail to send in the morning, already written, with some final questions.

We settled the music selection. Now just need to find proper sheet music for it all, and/or confirm that I have the right keys already.

We settled all the prayers and readings for the wedding, as well as the readers and participants in Mass. I put together the outline our family member priest said to send him.

We confirmed that most of the necessary people can be at the rehearsal time. Just a couple more for me to tell in the morning.

My mom surprised us with a financial contribution that, while not a massive amount of money or anything, was still massively significant and helpful. She expressed that she wanted us to have the celebration we truly wanted, and so was giving us much more than she had originally said she had already planned to give us (which was a surprise in and of itself in the first place). We both are immensely grateful for her love, her kindness, and her sacrifice in love for us.

Thank you, God, for my mom and her love. Thank you for the many accomplishments of today. And thank you for my man, and that he soon will be my husband. Please, keep him safe and well, happy, healthy, holy. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

P.S. God, please, cleanse our bodies with this juice cleanse, and help us to care for ourselves as best possible. Help us to be our best selves and to support one another always in doing that. Thank you. Amen.

Chaos

My cousin was sharing with me about her current stress load of not only packing up, mostly on her own, to move states, but also having to pay a bunch of yearly bills, repair a toilet thing that busted today in the current house they’re trying to sell soon, and manage it all with neither her nor her husband’s having employment the past six weeks or so. I shared with her genuinely that I have observed and experienced that, whenever we are transitioning to something better, we always have to have a time of chaos first. Something has to go awry in order the change the daily standards, so that something new can be set into place. When the new and better life isn’t compatible with the current one, something’s got to blow first. And that’s where they seem to be right now, right in the midst of the chaos.

I sometimes even feel that the chaos is also there for us to have a chance to show and to prove even to ourselves, as well as the universe, that we truly want the change, want the new thing. Whatever the case, though, the chaos always seems to come right before something beautiful settles in.

And then, not even an hour after my saying all that, we began even more of our own readjusting in life, our own chaos: My man was ‘severed’ from his job. He was planning to quit already, as he has hated the new job after the new company’d taken over. He also half-expected to be let go, anyway, in the near future. He had just hoped to find another job first. That, however, didn’t happen. And the company that has been pretty crap to his whole department genuinely gave hypocritical reasons for his dismissal – that’s the part that actually upsets me, because they’ve been such hypocrites, and that is something I just can’t seem to stand(!!!!!!!!!!) – and acted like they were being super generous by providing him with a small severance package of money only (because this state doesn’t require severance packages, even though common decency does).

Ugh. I just hate hypocrisy. Seriously… ugh(!).

Anyway, we’ll sort through the muck and find the right path. Obviously, this was a perfect time in terms of getting wedding stuff sorted out, as well as his being able to have a rest from the terrible job leading up to our wedding. It also means my man gets to go with us for a site visit tomorrow for our reception venue, which he had been disappointed yesterday that he wouldn’t be able to do because of his work schedule. Plus, it’ll let him get started with his flight program – ironically and perfectly which started today with orientation – without having to mess with the crap job all day every day, and see what kind of job he actually does want to have while in the program. It isn’t the best financially for us, but I think it is best mentally for us both. And, if we keep to God’s calling, I believe the money will follow. It always seems to do so.

Thank you, God, for this difficult blessing today. Help us to use it effectively to pursue and fulfill your will, sharing your love fully through our lives. Help us to let go of the automatic reaction with one another toward anger and frustration, and to hear each other openly and lovingly. Heal where healing is needed, please, especially now. Thank you for this life. Please, make clear the next step for each of us, both now and always. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Music

Well, I’ve narrowed it down significantly for the hymns at our wedding Mass. Of course, true to form, my man didn’t register why I had been going through so much music the past week and a half, and so now has to go check his music lists and see if there is anything significant to him on them, so we can add them to the final list for pairing. Hopefully, he can find at least one song that is really significant for him that we can use. I have one that is really big for me in there as a for-sure song, so I’m hoping he can have one like that, too. And then the other two songs can be just ones that we both like. That would be a nice balance, after all.

God, guide us to find the music that is perfect for our celebration with you. Help us to be loving and energized and at ease during our final weeks of preparations for the wedding. Thank you for this opportunity and your love. Make us well, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

In the mood

I was in the middle for some Prosecco tonight. So, I checked the outside fridge for whatever bottle has been sitting in there a while and pulled it out. After an internal battle with fear of popping the cork, I finally succeeded and was surprised to find that it was a red base when I poured it.… and to find that it was absolutely delicious.

If you like Prosecco and you like naturally sweet juices, this is a delicious drink for you.

After unintentionally drinking way too much of it, I sent a message to my fiancé, telling him, “Imma be drunk by the time you get home…”

He asked, “On what?” I then added a photo of it and said,

“It is delicious
“Let’s get five more always to have on hand”.

He laughed, and I knew he didn’t realize that I actually would be intoxicated. I so rarely drink alcohol that even a small amount makes me tipsy. Roughly four small champagne flutes on an almost-empty stomach for the day was a bad call on my part. If I’d eaten normally, it would have been okay. But I had only had two fried eggs and two pieces of bacon today, due to laziness and forgetfulness this morning and being busy this afternoon and evening. So, after the four little glasses, I was shoveling down the turkey I’d just cooked, as well as a protein oat bar and some panettone, both for the nutrients/calories and the balance. It was ridiculous. Makes me think of Long Island iced teas, how people don’t realize they’ve just guzzled down hard liquor, as they only really noticed the delightful sweet tea with an edge… but the edge was way sharper than they could tell initially.

So, I struggled for a bit, but eventually leveled out the blood level and was able to get to bed peacefully. Definitely not anticipating doing anything like that again, ever. I am grateful that I realized before it was too late that I needed to stop. I left half a glass just sitting on the counter, I had to make sure I walked away. But it was the right thing to do. That stuff is just too good to be on an empty stomach.

God, thank you for this life. Please, help my body to heal tonight and help me to honor and respect my body always, and especially to be fully aware of what I put into it and how those things might affect my body and my overall functioning. Help me always to honor you and your love with my life. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

(Did I say that last night?????)

P.S. I did my kakizome today – yay!

Older movies

Movies from the ‘80s and ‘90s, as my man pointed out tonight, really make us both long for the speed of life back then. Cars were simpler, communication networks were simpler, the speed of life was not necessarily slower, but felt slower – more time was taken to do fewer things, versus the small bits of time given to loads of things nowadays. When people made commitments, they kept them. Life wasn’t usually so hurried, because people didn’t try to cram in as many things as possible in a day, every day. Life was still hard, but much less stress-inducing as a baseline. Even though we couldn’t find answers very quickly to most questions we had, it still was really nice. We spent so much time with one another, instead of just around one another. Life felt fuller, satisfying. I miss that sometimes. Though, I guess that means I can start being even more intentional about how I conduct my own life now, see what parts we can re-incorporate these days. I’ve done it in bits before, so I can look to see what else I can do now, and how I can do it even better now than I did the last go ‘round.

God, guide me, please. Thank you for this life. Please, heal those in need of you. And heal those in need of physical healing, too, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023