Calling and Stressing

Sometimes, it feels like God is calling me in a certain direction, yet the world seems to be setting itself against my going in that direction. And sometimes, it feels like I am being offered a choice between two seemingly similar yet extremely different directions, and I truly cannot tell which is the one God is asking, recommending, calling me to pursue.

And sometimes, it’s both at the same time.

God, help me, please, to see clearly your will for me and my family and our life. Help me to see this next step clearly and to pursue and fulfill it with comfort, ease, and confidence in your guidance and will and love. Thank you for this life. Please, help me to live it at my best possible. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Great Films

Tonight, we finished watching Top Gun: Maverick… again.

We started it the other night, and stopped about halfway through to use the bathroom, and decided it was smartest to go to sleep immediately. So, we did the second half tonight.

And I was almost ready to hit start all over again once it ended.

This movie is just that great. And knowing how much of it was true flying, actually filmed in jets and all that jazz makes it all the better. Just such a good film. I really love it.

Thank you, God, for the blessing of wonderful art, especially wonderful films. In your name, I pray in gratitude. Amen! ❤

Post-a-day 2023

Opera

We went to the world premier of an opera today. It was called Intelligence, and was composed by Jake Heggie, with libretto by Gene Scheer. Also part of the team, directing and choreographing for her first time on an opera, was Jawole Willa Jo Zollar.

Now, a friend had originally scheduled to attend with us, but had to cancel due to a scheduling issue. So, someone else went with us at the last minute. The replacement person was truly delighted by the show, so we were really glad he was able to attend with us.

Not long after the show had ended, however, I got a message from the first friend, “How was it!?” (He could hardly stand that he hadn’t made it, and was already figuring out when he could get a ticket to go on his own later this week.)

My responses, in order:

It was cool
Very American opera
Haha
It was kind of weird in terms of flow, but I believe that was kind of the point
Cool how it’s based on a true story
Seeing how these two women significantly helped end the war
It was a cool combination of time period and cultures
But also totally an American opera, through and through 😂

I didn’t even have to explain myself, and I’m pretty sure he got it. Because, even though opera is opera, the old European opera is definitely a different animal from the modern American opera.

The friend’s response?

“Love that”. 😛

Opera nerds.

Post-a-day 2023

Dance

I somehow started watching the show Dance Moms. It is a terrible show, of course. These folks are absurdly dramatic, righteous, and mean. And very much unnecessarily so.

So, it’s really quite sad to watch, and I make an effort not to pay too much attention and to keep the volume down throughout most of it (lots of yelling, you see). However, the dancing is so beautiful and makes me wish I could be back dancing again and doing dance I never even got to do… I just wish I could do it all now. However, the world I’ve there is not really set up to help adults learn new things – just kids. :/

Post-a-day 2023

Potato drama

So, hemorrhoids… prepare yourself now, or leave now, because onward we go!

I have hemorrhoids. I used to have them off and on, usually very clearly tied to stress and to sitting rarely on hard surfaces. As soon as I chilled out a bit or spent more time on chairs and less time sitting on the bed, they would pop back in like they had never come out in the first place.

However, for the past couple years now, I have HS them sticking out consistently. They improve and get worse off and on, but they haven’t gone away completely in at least two years, almost three now.

I mentioned it to the chiropractor the other day, just asking if she knew anything about them and if there were, perhaps, some connection to the other stuff going on with my body that could help me heal them. What she said actually surprised me.

What did she say? Well, she said, ‘You know there’s a natural cure for that?’

Uhm, no, I did not. If I had known, I most likely would have tried it by now. Haha

So, she then proceeds to tell me that potatoes have these healing enzymes that help to heal skin – never knew about that either – that also, supposedly, help to heal the end of the intestine’s development of hemorrhoids.

And so, I was prescribed a pure potato suppository. Just a tiny bit, peeled, not even the size of my pinky nail, but a potato suppository.

Yikes.

Naturally, I had to warm up to the idea for several days, as with just about everything else. Then, I went and bought a bag of organic potatoes – no need not to do organic when the whole point it for my body to absorb everything in the thing! – and did my first suppository.

Yes, it was stressful and I was very uneasy and my inner bum felt super weird for about twenty minutes while it adjusted and resettled on the inside. Then I was super stressed the next morning when I couldn’t seem to have a regular BM, and all I wanted to do was to be able to poo and get this potato piece out of me. Finally, my body decided it was truly ready, and not just faking it anymore, and the potato and all the rest exited my system, to my great emotional relief.

The next potato was to be two nights later. I did it. We had a similar experience with the morning bowel movement not happening at the regular time. Finally, after belly aches for hours, it all came out around midday.

The thing is, the previous morning, all had been normal, timing and all. The following morning, too, all was normal. So, I decided I needed to have a rest from stressing all morning while at school, and wait for the weekend for the next one.

The two I had already done, coincidentally, already had made a huge difference in my hemorrhoids. The size was down by half, at least.

But my body does not like to let go of these potato pieces. So, I waited for the weekend for the next one… and then I forgot. I remembered after I had already showered and gotten ready for bed, at which point, I couldn’t bring myself to go cut up the potato and deal with the whole process of getting it in and all that emotional stress involved… I still have OCD, mind you. Yes, it has improved massively. But I still have a very strong dislike of anything associated with dirtiness, especially after I’ve showered before bed. So, it didn’t happen this weekend.

Tonight, Sunday night, I made myself go get the potato piece ready when I remembered right before my shower. I want these things handled. I want my body to heal…

Of course, I forgot while I was in the shower, and had to do it right afterward, which freaked me out a bit. But I had to do it the other day that way already, so I knew I could manage, even though I really disliked doing it that way. And the piece was longer than usual tonight, which also stressed me a bit, though logic and physics and geometry told me it was 100% fine.

Nonetheless, I got it done, though I had a total struggle initially. I was yelping and whining at first, my man even came to see if I was okay. Somehow, he guessed exactly what it was when I answered that, ‘No!’ I wasn’t okay. “Oh. The potato?” No hesitation. He just knew. 😛

Eventually, I tried a slightly different angle and all, and it went in normally and relatively easily, and it was handled. Now, to walk around and suck my butt in for the next ten to twenty minutes, and all will be well. (And it has been.)

I just hope I don’t have to keep doing these for much longer. The first two seemed to help immensely. I hope this one does the same. I’m ready for my butt to be normal again, please. (We’ll work more on the rash next. She also gave me something to try out for that.)

Dear God, please, heal my hemorrhoids and bottom problems. Help my body to be strong and well and beautiful in all ways. Help me to be the best I can be, that I pursue and fulfill your will. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Alone with the dog

This weekend, the dog and I are hanging out together. I miss my man, of course, but I’m also okay. More so than usual, even. The dog, however, is a different story. She rushed out to look for my man’s car when I got home, and was clearly stumped when she couldn’t find it. Ever since then, she has been pacing or lying down right by the back door, quite obviously waiting for him to get here. She even went off and on breathing heavily through both doors that he normally would use to come inside… it’s her odd way of showing impatience while also trying to smell if someone is on the other side of the door.

She misses him. 😛

It’s funny how she always knows when he’s getting ready to leave town. She picks up on the shift of packing and putting things in the car, even if she isn’t out by the car to see any of the loading up happening. As son as she notices he’ll be leaving, she keeps a wary eye on the car, and often tries to get inside of it the first time one of the back doors is opened at all. I imagine this morning was no different. She likely knew he was leaving, especially since he doesn’t normally go anywhere in the middle of the morning like today, and he certainly was scrambling to pack his clothes and all, likely strewn about in various places in the house (since he hasn’t fully unpacked yet from the previous two trips that just happened, and laundry was only just begun). But, whether she knew or not, it is definitely clear that she knows he’s not here and that she wants him back here. 😛

Good dog.

Dear God, please, keep us and my man safe. Help him to have a wonderful and wholesome and safe weekend this weekend. Thank you for this life. In your name, I pray. Amen.

P.S. Did you know that today was Friday, the thirteenth of October? I totally missed it. 😛

Post-a-day 2023

Jobs

I suddenly got the urge to check up on job postings for my man tonight (as I’m getting into bed, of course, because what else would I need to do when I’m needing to go to sleep?), so I did a quick search. I sent him one actual serious listing at first. Then I sent another that seemed interesting. Of course, it had shown up under the search criteria of “remote” for location, but, after checking after sending it to my man, I saw that it lists specific locations. Basically, that part was dumb. However, I’d already sent it to him. So, I iust added that I don’t actually want to move. It just sounded cool, and I liked that they included the salary range in the posting, so I was sharing with him.

But seriously, why do jobs not include a salary range in the posting in the first place???????? It actually matters, and it makes a difference on many levels. Plus, it would save a lot of time for a lot of people, including the ones who are doing the hiring in the first place. They waste loads of time interviewing overqualified candidates for low-paying positions, and also waste loads of time interviewing under qualified people for high-paying positions. Plus, who wants to get a job and find out after the fact that the company gave you the lowest possible salary, even though you’re massively qualified? Just be up front about it, please. Everyone.

Post-a-day 2023

Taking it easy

Today was a bizarre day of accidental/unexpected rest time. I had plans yet they all shifted to make for a very comfortable and satisfying day for me today, and it was just so lovely… I am very grateful. I wasn’t included in the testing happening st school today, so I wasn’t going to be paid for doing any work today…, so I didn’t work. I stayed home and planned a day to do whatever, and nothing specific but register my car’s title transfer. (Actually, the state cheated me out of tax on another $2000 that they said my car was worth… even though that’s actually illegal, since it was the dealer who had owned and sold the car to me at the end of my lease… but there is basically nothing for me to do about it that actually would change anything. Our legal system is too messed up, as is the government’s system, for me to be able to afford to do anything that would make a difference. Suing is basically the only way to hold big companies and organizations accountable, it seems. Perhaps, if people just did the right and fair thing in the first place, places wouldn’t have to worry about being sued. Anyway…) That was a pretty lame time, and I had to wait 40 minutes there, even though I had a scheduled appointment time and all. Despite that junk, I had a good day. I’m glad to have gotten the title stuff handled, at last. And I’m relieved to know for certain that I don’t have to get new plates. That was great news for me, even despite being cheated at the same time. Anyway, I went home happy while still annoyed at the injustice.

A bit later, I got to take my friend’s three-year-old daughter to her ballet class, which was awesome. The whole little car ride was a blast, her sitting in her cars eat in the back, telling me all about how she was going to dancing class and that she was going in my man’s car. It was awesome. And then dance class was also great to watch, as usual.

Then I got to go for a walk with my man and the dog in this amazing weather. I got to drink some eggnog. I learned a bit about the new car’s oil leak and the process to fix it. I ordered a gift for the birthday party we are attending next weekend, almost entirely using a gift card I earned for doing some volunteer-type stuff. And I got to hang with my man as we watched a movie, and then goof off and actually wrestle one another on the old Tempur-pedic mattress that is presently sitting in the living room. Now, I’m going to bed a touch later than desired, but satisfied and comfortable from the day.

Thank you for today, God, and thank you for my man and his dog and my friends and my mom. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Drama queen

“I gave you a chance, and you chose violence!” he declares, a sense of both betrayal and comedy in his voice as he practically runs away down the hall.

You see, he was giving me a hard time about giving him a goodbye kiss, not bending over far enough for me to be able to reach him properly. So, I said, ‘Okay, fine. Goodbye,’ and I continued on to my next intended activity… which was filing my nails. One was bothering me still, and I needed to fix it, you see. But he can’t stand nail filing. I always have to make sure I do it when he isn’t around, or that I go be sneaky across a room, turned the other way – something like that, anyway. Since he clearly wasn’t going to give me a kiss without my having to jump or something absurd, I let it go and moved on. The moment I pulled out the nail file, though, he yelped and started running. I merely started laughing. Either come back and kiss me, and I’ll put it away, or I’ll just continue on with my plans, I told him. His response, of course, was where this story started. 😛

And no, he did not give me a fair chance of kissing him, but he had, technically, given me a chance. Boy, did he get a bit of a shock in return for his lack of fairness and kindness. 😛

Post-a-day 2023