All things considered

I have been thinking about the idea that we need not apologize for our thoughts or opinions…, no matter what those thoughts or opinions are.

I believe that the only place where an apology might be warranted is in one’s unwillingness or total rejection of re-evaluating/reconsidering one’s thoughts and/or opinions…when one denies that another idea might be better than the one one already has. That, to me, is the point at which we might begin to consider taking responsibility for how we could be hurting others, in some way or other, through our thoughts and opinions.

I believe that it is extremely important to evaluate our opinions and ideas, and even on a regular and frequent basis. Everything around us and within us changes over time – why might our ideas and opinions and viewpoints remain stagnant or fixed throughout life? I have found myself go from one extreme on an opinion to the other, simply by learning new and full information on the topic. I do not feel guilty for my former belief, nor do I feel it appropriate or required for me to feel guilty about it. Based on the information and experiences I had had at that point in time, that was my belief. When new experiences and new information reached me, I was willing to re-evaluate my stance and take a new one. I think this is possible in just about any situation for any topic or idea. So, we need not feel bad for our opinions, I think. We must merely be responsible for updating them consistently and actively, especially when something arises that points them out as being inappropriate and/or unloving in some way.

Post-a-day 2020

Let’s talk about sex (some more), baby

Somehow, I have found myself thinking about pornography lately.

And no, not in the sense of indulgence or grossness or anything like that.

In the sense of this question: How are people supposed to be exposed to the body, and to sexual interaction initially, to be informed on the subject and not have to be afraid of it all?

The unfortunate answer side seems to have only one measly answer: pornography.

And, while I very much dislike the intended use of pornography, I could understand it from an educational approach… well… the more vanilla side of it all, anyway.

It had me thinking how, in a traditional normal household, a child is somewhat likely, at least once in his life, to walk in on his parents having sex, right?

Right.

That exposure, to me, seems important and possibly necessary for that child.

However, I feel that that exposure alone is not enough for the child to develop a healthy relationship to the concept of sex.

How is he supposed to learn what a positive versus negative relationship with sex is?

How is he supposed to understand truly what is normal (and versus abnormal) for the human bodies of a male and female in the world of sexual interaction?

Many people, I suppose, would say that that‘s the whole point of someone’s first sexual interaction: awkward discovery.

(But many people don’t have that opportunity, and for many reasons…. It could be age difference, personality difference, an abuse history, or even fear of the whole thing…)

But what if it didn’t have to be like that most of the time, with so many people living in worry about getting it right or being good enough or knowing what to do or what is normal?

I’ve mentioned before about how these cave-people books talk about how certain women would be selected each summer to be the sexual guides for all the newly-established men of the tribes, and, when females were declared women, they would have a special ceremony, for which a specific man was selected to be the first sexual encounter for the newly-established woman.

No, they aren’t exactly the same approach, but they both have value, and I think a combination of them would be supremely valuable for a people as a whole.

What a beautiful way for people to learn the human body and sexual interaction in a healthy and loving way…

Granted, it only worked because the whole tribe would select carefully and consciously the people who would be the sexual guides, and there were various restrictions and rules about it all to keep everyone safe, both physically and emotionally/psychologically.

However, it worked beautifully, and everyone had a positive foundation in the realm of the human body and sexual encounters and relationships… they also knew when things were off, and were comfortable reaching out to others about it, because the body and sex were not taboo topics.

Hmm… anyway… just some thoughts… I don’t have plans to revolutionize the world with this, and I know it isn’t perfect, but I think it would be a great brainstorming start for our time in the world…

Post-a-day 2020