Tag: love

You aren’t crazy

My mom has always said that crazy people don’t wonder if they’re crazy – they just think they’re normal. Today, I was blessed with the opportunity to speak with someone who was able, with spectacular grace and ease, to state clearly that what I have experienced throughout my life does not make me crazy, but actually one of many. I’ll keep it at that for now, but he made sure to check in with me to discuss further later in the day, and then followed up to confirm I had his e-mail and phone number, so that he could help get me set up with a spiritual director in town. And not just any spiritual director, but someone who is acquainted with my situation, and can support me in serving God and His people through this gift – after all, as I am coming to understanding, this gift is one specifically intended, not for one’s own spiritual growth, like the gifts of the Holy Spirit are, but for the good of all. So, yeah… I guess I now will learn to be like Spiderman, and make the world a better place in some new and yet undetermined way.

God, you certainly have some crazy surprises sometimes. I said I’d trust you, and so I do and shall. I definitely appreciate your sense of humor and irony. I love you. Thank you for the blessings that continue to grow around me in my life. Help us always to pursue and follow you and your will for us. Thank you for my man, my fiancé. Grant us grace and ease these next two weeks especially, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Chaos

My cousin was sharing with me about her current stress load of not only packing up, mostly on her own, to move states, but also having to pay a bunch of yearly bills, repair a toilet thing that busted today in the current house they’re trying to sell soon, and manage it all with neither her nor her husband’s having employment the past six weeks or so. I shared with her genuinely that I have observed and experienced that, whenever we are transitioning to something better, we always have to have a time of chaos first. Something has to go awry in order the change the daily standards, so that something new can be set into place. When the new and better life isn’t compatible with the current one, something’s got to blow first. And that’s where they seem to be right now, right in the midst of the chaos.

I sometimes even feel that the chaos is also there for us to have a chance to show and to prove even to ourselves, as well as the universe, that we truly want the change, want the new thing. Whatever the case, though, the chaos always seems to come right before something beautiful settles in.

And then, not even an hour after my saying all that, we began even more of our own readjusting in life, our own chaos: My man was ‘severed’ from his job. He was planning to quit already, as he has hated the new job after the new company’d taken over. He also half-expected to be let go, anyway, in the near future. He had just hoped to find another job first. That, however, didn’t happen. And the company that has been pretty crap to his whole department genuinely gave hypocritical reasons for his dismissal – that’s the part that actually upsets me, because they’ve been such hypocrites, and that is something I just can’t seem to stand(!!!!!!!!!!) – and acted like they were being super generous by providing him with a small severance package of money only (because this state doesn’t require severance packages, even though common decency does).

Ugh. I just hate hypocrisy. Seriously… ugh(!).

Anyway, we’ll sort through the muck and find the right path. Obviously, this was a perfect time in terms of getting wedding stuff sorted out, as well as his being able to have a rest from the terrible job leading up to our wedding. It also means my man gets to go with us for a site visit tomorrow for our reception venue, which he had been disappointed yesterday that he wouldn’t be able to do because of his work schedule. Plus, it’ll let him get started with his flight program – ironically and perfectly which started today with orientation – without having to mess with the crap job all day every day, and see what kind of job he actually does want to have while in the program. It isn’t the best financially for us, but I think it is best mentally for us both. And, if we keep to God’s calling, I believe the money will follow. It always seems to do so.

Thank you, God, for this difficult blessing today. Help us to use it effectively to pursue and fulfill your will, sharing your love fully through our lives. Help us to let go of the automatic reaction with one another toward anger and frustration, and to hear each other openly and lovingly. Heal where healing is needed, please, especially now. Thank you for this life. Please, make clear the next step for each of us, both now and always. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Music

Well, I’ve narrowed it down significantly for the hymns at our wedding Mass. Of course, true to form, my man didn’t register why I had been going through so much music the past week and a half, and so now has to go check his music lists and see if there is anything significant to him on them, so we can add them to the final list for pairing. Hopefully, he can find at least one song that is really significant for him that we can use. I have one that is really big for me in there as a for-sure song, so I’m hoping he can have one like that, too. And then the other two songs can be just ones that we both like. That would be a nice balance, after all.

God, guide us to find the music that is perfect for our celebration with you. Help us to be loving and energized and at ease during our final weeks of preparations for the wedding. Thank you for this opportunity and your love. Make us well, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Birthday party

Nothing quite like going to a small child’s birthday party and being the only ones who aren’t actual family. And the only ones besides the mom who aren’t Mexican. And we don’t even have any kids of our own yet. But this baby and her big sister feel like they’re part of our family from back when I lived with them for a couple months, so we went to the party across town for a one-year-old. Fortunately, all the family remember us from the last birthday party for the older sister, so it was no biggie today, not even for my man, who didn’t live with any of them, but is just now my future husband, and has thereby absorbed these guys as extended family. 😛

Ridiculous, I know.

Thank you, God, for the love and friendships we have. Keep us all safe, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Thickheadedness

My brother comments on how he didn’t realize the message I’d sent to the family was a save-the-date for our wedding. Why? As I said to him tonight after dinner, if he ever actually called his sister and had an actual relationship with her, he would have known already all about it, even before the text… I wasn’t mean, of course, but I also wasn’t wrong, and he knew it. 😛 He always stops being a good family member whenever he starts dating someone. As silly as it sounds, that’s okie thing I actually really liked about his wife before – she usually made a clear effort to keep him in touch with us. She didn’t let him disappear, and thereby had a large role of her own in my life, in all our lives…

Anyway… addiction really sucks.

Post-a-day 2023

Communication

It’s a good thing we’ve been working so much on having good communication with one another. It made all the difference today, turning what was a very stressful situation into an absolutely wonderful one.

Thank you, God, for this man and for his willingness to let you guide him and for his love for me. And thank you for my love for him and the grace that we both give to each other. Thank you for this life and this love. Help us to continue to pursue and fulfill your will together, being our best selves with one another always supporting. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

My man

I miss my man. I am genuinely totally okay on my own here – it’s not like I can’t function or enjoy myself and whatnot whenever he’s out of town. I just would have loved to have had him with me today and tonight and now… I’m always fully functional and able to enjoy life when he isn’t right beside me. But I just enjoy it all all the more whenever he is…

And it’s funny to me, you see. I wrote years ago about how – and I mean, like, possibly in middle school in some version of the wording, and then about seven years ago with this wording – I wanted to find a life partner and husband who absolutely could live without me, but who just didn’t want to live without me; someone who wanted and chose daily to live with me. I think he feels that way about me, but I know for sure that I feel that way about him. We don’t need each other to survive. Yes, it helps make life all the better, being together. But it isn’t a necessity for life – it is a choice we get to make. We don’t have to be together – we want to be together. And so, I hope we get to continue choose each other every single day for decades to come.

Thank you, God, for this wonderful man. Please, keep him safe and get him home to me tomorrow, healthy and well and holy and happy and safe, please. The dog, too, and all that jazz. Grant them safe travels, please. And grant us all great sleep tonight, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

P.S. Our gym had a white elephant gift exchange tonight. I ended up getting an electric kettle with a set of the LMNT electrolyte packets – I believe it was like a hot chocolate kind of gift box idea. Makes sense, right? The price limit was $30. We brought $30 gifts that were purchased using major online discounts – most people had done a version of this, taking advantage of cyber Monday and all that jazz, right? Exactly $30, but it’s really a $50 product. A lot of people also did the, ‘It only costs me $30, but it costs a non-member (or whoever else) $40-60. Cool. The best ‘deal’ seemed to be a Landry’s gift card set for $75 of gift cards. I was absolutely about to steal that, as it came up right before my turn. However, a couple stole it from each other in order to max out its steals right away, and I never got the chance. Well, onward… I had wanted to try these electrolyte things, and they had one more steal available at my turn, so I took them and knew I was set. What I did not know was that this was basically the best deal of them all, product cost wise. When I opened it and really looked at the two things at home, I could not believe this electric kettle was anywhere near $30, even with a discount. And I imagined the powders weren’t cheap either. Sure enough, the powders are $45 for a single purchase or $39 with a subscription. And the kettle? It is a $195 kettle! So, my “$30” gift was actually $260 with tax. However, they didn’t break the actual limit buying it. Why? Because the company had sent the kettle free with the regular order of the powders that the gym does. So, it was basically a free kettle and $30 of powders for them… Well, I’ll take it. And I did! Thank you, God, for this unexpected and awesome blessing! Amen!

Discussion

We started going through some question and answer things together tonight, and actually discussing some of it… and I feel so satisfied by the conversation as a whole, so accomplished, satiated… satisfied not as in proved right, but as in filled, whole. I have been wanting to do just this for so long, and we are finally doing it clearly and intentionally, and it is wonderful. We both are learning, I think, both about each other and about how to discuss different things effectively with one another, and both are extremely valuable in any relationship. So, I go to sleep incredibly grateful tonight.

Thank you, God, and thank you, my man, for the communication, the willingness, and the love involved in it all. Thank you, God, for this life. Please, make clear our next steps always in pursuing and fulfilling your will. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

P.S. In class today, we started discussing jobs and work and careers and crafts. (This is French class.) At the end of class, we started reading together an article on the Japanese concept of ikigai. (If you don’t know it, look it up, because it is really cool.) Tonight, as I looked at my memories on Facebook, I crossed a post from this day seven years ago talking about how I had just discovered the Japanese term ikigai and that it was an awesome addition to my vocabulary. How fun! 😛

Musical Evenings

We celebrated my grandma’s 93rd birthday this evening at her building’s happy hour. After a bit, my cousin jumped on the (baby?) grand piano – lid up, of course – and started playing some old favorites for her (and the other folks there), as well as a few for us. I rather especially enjoyed singing “All for the Best” from Godspell with my mom and aunt and cousins… almost like we were mad, but we were truly just having such a great time with the song, we were actually jumping up and down and all as we did it.

It all was just really great. Even the regular Alzheimer’s granny was singing along with enthusiasm and energy I had never seen in her before tonight. That made it all even sweeter.

And then, by happenstance and poor planning, the piano cousin and his friend ended up staying at the house with us tonight. They arrived while I was showering, and it was no surprise to me to hear both the piano and a guitar already being used within minutes of their arrival. Naturally, we had a next few hours filled with music and merriment.

The nerdy bit was when I mentioned the NPR Piano Puzzler, a really cool bit where this pianist composes and performs a popular song in the style of a famous composer (who did not write the song). A listener has to guess the song and the composer, but it is just as fun to play at home or in the car just listening. My cousin hasn’t heard of it. Fortunately, they are all available to hear online, so we pulled up a few and had a grand old time listening to them and guessing together. If you like music and haven’t tried them already, check them out!

Anyway, thank you, God, for such a blessing tonight. Grant us all renewing sleep each night and energy and will to pursue and fulfill your will each day. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

This man

There is a man. The first thing I said to this man was, “Hey! Are you lookin’ for me?” He replied after a pause, “Yes, but not quite yet.” I love this man. I want to pray with this man, grow with this man, become with this man my best self for each day for the rest of my life.

And I have known this since the day I met him… that night, standing in the horse barn, loving him already and wondering how on Earth he was truly here in front of me… and knowing that he was feeling the same about me.

Thank you, God, for the absolute blessing of this man in my life. I am eternally grateful. Please, help me to do well and to do your will in this life with him. Help us both to live your love and your light through our relationship with one another. Thank you. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023