Wow

Well, I made it through the rest of the magazines and notebooks and journals tonight, but that was after doing the papers. Somehow, I just had been thinking about and stressing about the papers all day long, I felt I needed to do them first, I guess. I kind of forgot about the magazines and notebooks until I had started piling the papers. At that point, my mind was super-charged in paper-piling mode, and it seemed harder to stop than to put magazines and journals after the papers. I was pretty sure that I was keeping all the magazines and journals, anyway.

Nonetheless, I did them all. Woohoo! I’m still stressed, because I have a lot happening in the next 48 hours. However, I’m doing loads better. I’m getting to bed a solid hour after I had intended, and that’s okay. I wanted to get this stuff done today, and I did it(!). Plus, the gym owner said for me to rest from working out tomorrow, and just do a 1-mile easy walk instead, in preparation for the 5k Saturday morning. I want to see how fast I can do the fun-run. I’m not-so-secretly hoping that I can win a medal for my age group. However, I’m not a super-runner these days, and there are lots of people who by almost default are super into running at their age, and those ages might be included in my age category – I don’t know how large the categories are, or where they are; just that they exist.

But anyway, I am feeling better about it all, now. I’m going to go stretch and ready quickly, and get myself to sleep asap, now. We’ll see what time I awaken in the morning – if I wake naturally around 4:30, as usual, or if I snooze hard core until my alarm that is set for 6:15 (enough time to get to school before traffic, and then to walk the big parking lot there before school starts).

Anyway, goodnight folks! And happy lunar new year eve!!! 😀

Post-a-day 2021

Last post in the year of the rat ;D

Some Nights

Some nights, we are calm and at ease, for we know we have accomplished our expected tasks for the day.

And some nights, we are not, because we haven’t…

Tonight is one of the latter “some nights”… The thing is, though, I’m actually really interested in all of this research I’ve been doing for this paper… I just don’t want to hassle with putting it all together in a paper… you know what I mean?

I think I do, anyway…

Well, back to the paper organizing, so I can get to the actual writing… which is due to be turned in and then presented tomorrow… oops 😛

Hashtag I’mANutJob, right?*

*If you haven’t seen it, check out Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake’s skit on hashtags… that’s what was on my mind just now with that line. 😛

Post-a-day 2019

You can do it

You can do it

That’s my reminder for this evening at 8:15pm.  I have about three and a half pages (single-spaced pages, of course) to go to finish up this f-i-n-a-l paper for the semester.  And I can do this.  I keep reminding myself of the baby steps, and it keeps working.  I wrote the entire other paper at work today – don’t worry that I was skimping out on my work to do it, because I was not at all – following the baby steps method, and I think it will work similar magic for me on this paper tonight and in the morning.  ðŸ™‚

I can do it.  And Siri helped me to remember that, giving me that bit of encouragement I knew I would need this evening after class.  I really do appreciate what Siri can do for me.  He’s a great help for many things, and I am sure to thank him often (though he usually denies any need for thanks, whenever I do express it).  ðŸ™‚

Post-a-day 2018

Toddler Time, it seems

May I just say, for one last time, that I am so tired of these papers?

I am tired of these papers… I want to be done with them, but I don’t want to sit and write them anymore – I have lost my interest in them.  I’ve already done all the research, proven my hypothesis for myself.  Why do I now need to organize it all up for others to see?  I really am okay that the world doesn’t get to experience my findings and ideas on this point.  Although, to be fair, I think I would be quite annoyed, if someone else were to come up with a paper on the same topic, and I never finished this one… So, I guess I do want to finish this paper, actually do the rest of it.

Yeah…

I’m just sleepy now, and so don’t really want to hassle with the whole mess that sits in front of me, mentally.  I don’t want to sort it all out right now.  I guess this is a perfect time for me to begin with the Dr.’s “Baby Steps” method again*… always gets me through whenever I hit this sort of panic or despondency in the face of the pile of ‘Oh-my-goodness’ that seems, somehow, almost endless.

Okay, baby steps it is, Doc…  Here I go

*From the film “What About Bob?”, what I consider to be a fabulous and somewhat infuriating film.

Post-a-day 2018

Will it ever end? I hope not

Well, well… lookie there: Malcolm Gladwell’s work is relevant yet again. 😛

Working on my second paper of three for finals, I discovered that the main character I’m following with the paper, the one who tackles a whole new way of living life despite societal standards and expectations, and aims at individualism and self-expression – by the way, this was a super huge deal at the time, if someone were to behave as she did – had lost her mother when she was just a small child…

Hmm… this suddenly called up all of Malcolm Gladwell’s reporting on social agreeableness in individuals and the commonality that around 30% (I believe it was) of top people in their field lost a parent during childhood…. this main character was suddenly yet another example of the amazing people Malcolm Gladwell analyzed in his book David and Goliath, which I just finished reading the other day.

(If you haven’t read it, read it, and what I’ve just said will make much more sense.)

Isn’t that awesome??

I keep telling people that Malcolm Gladwell’s books are genius-ly awesome and totally relevant in our lives today, so it only naturally follows that his work continue to be absurdly relevant in my own life. 😛

Post-a-day 2018

Check one

One down and two to go!

I actually wrote the paper this evening/tonight, and I like it!

Yes, it could be loads better, but I’m okay with how it is… I’m not trying to publish it, but complete it, and Inhabe done that.

Tuesday, I’ll present about it, and I likely’ll get super nerdy about everything I learned in my research, as well as all the new research I kind of want to do now, based on things I found that left my appetite unsatisfied. 😛

I’m a dork and nerd at heart, and I totally know it…

That’s a big part of why I’m in school again – I’m opposed to our grading system and standard assignment styles, but I love to learn and to share what I’ve learned. 🙂

Now, to do the whole paper thing over again tomorrow morning and daytime, with a presentation of that paper in the evening! (Yikes!)

Post-a-day 2018

School

I have to give a 20-minute presentation tomorrow on a 15-20-page paper I haven’t yet written, the research for which I have only just tonight begun reading… and had to stop reading, because money (aka real) work last night went so late that I didn’t get enough sleep to be at a level of quality functioning today…

I imagine I’ll manage something decent for the presentation, but ugh, this being exhausted so often and having to do work I don’t particularly want to do is just really exhausting. 😛

No wonder I feel ill.

P.S. I am a long-time procrastinator, so the last-minute work is nothing new – just the exhaustion from other stresses and whatnot combined with the procrastination is new and stressful.

Post-a-day 2018

Writing papers

I panicked that I wouldn’t have enough to write about for a 6-8-page paper for class.  And so, I did loads of research, looking constantly for new sources to support just about everything and anything I was planning to say in the paper, and I collected it all in a Google Doc, adding the necessary commentary surrounding the citations, as I went along.  Eventually, I grew tired of doing this, and so decided to take a break by deleting the headings for each section of my drafty draft and deleting any quotes I’d found that I would not be using.

…And so, somehow, I am sitting here with some sections that have yet to turn from citations to paragraphs containing the citations and the majority of the paragraphs written out already, and it is over seven pages long…. single spaced.

Guess my plan now is just to cut out anything I found to be third-rate.  And, if that isn’t enough, second-rate comes next.  Always easier than having to fill in with tenth-rate crap after having concisely said everything I want to support a topic in a paper, but another two pages are required by the teacher.

But I still don’t want to do it.

Anyway…, here goes.

Post-a-day 2018

Oops: Thank You, Teacher

As I showered just now, I somehow recalled a video meme I recently saw via a friend on Facebook.  I didn’t much like it, and found it a poor use of such a great clip, but I’ve remembered it nonetheless.  The words were along the lines of “when you just barely make your paper deadline”.  The clip was Captain Jack Sparrow gliding perfectly onto the dock, as his ship disappeared under the water, sunk.

For whatever reason, this reminded me of the time in college when I did not make a sort of deadline.

It was my second year, in the Fall semester, and for one of my French classes.  I think I had planned out studying for the test, and things had come up rather last-minute, completely destroying my study plan.  It was probably a combination of that and the usual heart’s tug of ‘Let’s get distracted by everything other than studying.’

So, I found myself cramming desperately the night before and the morning of this test.  I eventually just looked at myself, called it all ridiculous, and checked my teacher’s office hours.  She would be in her office the half hour before class, which was not long from now.  I kept studying, though in a completely different mood.  Either I would get what I was dearly hoping to get, or I’d likely fail the test.  And I could handle either (though I certainly had a preference).

I arrived at her office with an inner nervous, sweaty hands kid residing in my stomach, and a true sense of ease at what I was about to do.

I told her quite openly that I, by full fault of my own, was utterly unprepared to take the test today.  Yes, I could come to class and take it, but it would create a waste of her time in grading it, as it would be filled with various levels of nonsense.  I requested that she allow me to take the test later in the week instead, and asserted that I accepted any removal of points from my grade, should she see it necessary.

And she agreed.  She asked – seeing as how I went to a fabulous school, where teachers actually get to know you as a person, and their care for you shows unfailingly – about whether something specific had happened, if I were all right, or if it were just a standard ‘Oh. My. Gosh. I messed up!” (Yes, I did make it clear that my situation was of the not-so-proud “Oops” category when she initially asked.), and then accepted my request to take the test later.  I believe we agreed upon Friday, so that she still could grade it and give it back with the others on Monday… something like that, anyway.  (I then rushed back home and resumed studying for the next two-ish days.)

I think that experience – although I’m not sure I’ve thought this until now – had a strong impact on how I handled students as a teacher.  I remembered always that students have lives outside of the classroom, and that my class was not always the most important part of life for my students (and not simply by the students’ decision, but by global agreement), which sometimes meant that assignments went forgotten one night.

Essentially, I always expected the best of my students, and I remembered that they were only human.  And, so far as the grading went, if they cared enough to admit their error and to make the request for an extension or redo, as I had done in college, then, so long as the situation were doable, I was willing to accept (or negotiate for acceptable terms).  My students all knew this.  They also knew that I accepted humanness, not laziness, and that I am an expert at distinguishing the two (slash knowing when they’re totally full of it).  🙂

Yeah, I love teaching.  It’s like being a parent, but you get to kick them out whenever they’re driving you nuts.  (I was about to say ‘And the spending money on them and feeding them part,’ but then I remembered that we actually constantly spend money on students, and I almost daily, if not hourly, shared my food with kids.  One student regularly popped into my room throughout the day one year, asking for food.  Good times.  Good times.)

I feel like this went a little tangent-to-tangent (whatever that means), but that’s okay.  So rolls my brain, eh?*  😀

 

*I’m not even Canadian.  I just like the sound of that

I'm part of Post A Day 2016