I panicked that I wouldn’t have enough to write about for a 6-8-page paper for class. And so, I did loads of research, looking constantly for new sources to support just about everything and anything I was planning to say in the paper, and I collected it all in a Google Doc, adding the necessary commentary surrounding the citations, as I went along. Eventually, I grew tired of doing this, and so decided to take a break by deleting the headings for each section of my drafty draft and deleting any quotes I’d found that I would not be using.
…And so, somehow, I am sitting here with some sections that have yet to turn from citations to paragraphs containing the citations and the majority of the paragraphs written out already, and it is over seven pages long…. single spaced.
Guess my plan now is just to cut out anything I found to be third-rate. And, if that isn’t enough, second-rate comes next. Always easier than having to fill in with tenth-rate crap after having concisely said everything I want to support a topic in a paper, but another two pages are required by the teacher.
But I still don’t want to do it.
Anyway…, here goes.
The following is something I actually planned to tell a friend today, but I forgot to tell him. It was in preparing to tell him, thinking of how the conversation might go, that I realized how odd the whole thing was. See for yourself below…
I remembered to check the ingredients of my deodorant, because, when I was sniffing my toilet paper, I saw patchouli incense on the floor.
How’s that for normal, eh? Just try to make sense of just about any of that. 😛
Sometimes, the bottomless blue of life’s desperation is a swirling mass of deepened encroachment on one’s territory. The beyond selfless doubt is innumerate by the believers’ paradise of above, unwillingly taken before as a response to the redeemed unbeliever’s unity. How dare we approach such a despair without the embodiment of the soul in tonight’s united way of thinking into being? I know I couldn’t let anything less be of service in this matter of importance for tomorrow’s gain of grains, without gaining the pounds… because what else is a pigment in the imagination of your animals worth, without glory, anyway?
I love it to be lived, and beyond the walls of belief I am… and prestigiously so, indeed. Incongruous, without a doubt.
A few Japanese t-shirts for reference on style
I sometimes feel like it’s just a whole lot of nonsense that I’m writing on here.* And I sometimes wonder about why I even bother, because it feels like a whole lot of nonsense. Yet, there is something that these writings do for me. Somehow, they open up something within me… perhaps it’s that they’re helping me to be the me that I not only truly am, but also want to be.
I don’t know, of course, as everything is just conjecture here. But there is something about this weblog that is huge for me, in an almost-tangible way. I can feel my breathing ease whenever I think about what this weblog is for me. It’s like me being me or something.
Anyway, it means a lot to me, even though I’m not quite sure what it all is, and even though it feels like a bunch of… well, nothings. Hmm… guess it really is a lot like Kathleen Kelly after all. 😛
Anyway, I just wanted to share that. So thanks for letting me write, world, and thanks, Nicole, for getting me on this weblog in the first place, and for holding me accountable and helping me win a plan with which I could work. 🙂
*If you’re seeing an odd parallel to Kathleen Kelly right now, too, bonus points to you. 🙂