Tag: stress

Nerd / Baseball

While I do enjoy watching a good – me sing active and well-played – baseball game, I certainly am not into it like the average person who watches professional sports is. I do not have a strong association with this group of people who are not from my town or neighborhood, often, even, country, and who are here merely to play a sport. I find nothing wrong with their doing that. But I only would have immense interest in their games if they were people either who came from the same exact background as I did, or if they were people I knew personally.

For example, when the hockey team plays well at school, I am very proud of them. I go willingly to their games. Why? Not just because they are at my school, but because I know several of the players. Same for cross country. Yet it changes every year. I once cared a lot about the football games, because my students played in them. This year, not a single one plays football, and I haven’t made it to more than about twenty minutes or so of the first game of the season. I don’t know the players this year. But I do know members of the hockey and cross country and water polo teams, and so I watch their season with interest and enjoy attending their events when I can.

Anyway, all this is to say that, though I don’t exactly go wild for watching professional baseball, I really do enjoy the part where it often brings family and friends together just to sit around and be together for several hours at a time. It is truly a great pastime, and I appreciate and am grateful for it.

(And I still don’t support people being angry or mean in any way regarding sports rivalries. Not a chance. Grow up. Be a kind human being. Period. Support your team, and stop being nasty to others just because you support one team in particular and they don’t.)

Okay, and the nerd part is that I got an A on my Mandarin oral quiz! And I didn’t even have the full amount of time to prepare for it. So, extra-cool! Yay!

Thank you, God, for my success and for this opportunity. In your name, I pray in gratitude. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Dance

I somehow started watching the show Dance Moms. It is a terrible show, of course. These folks are absurdly dramatic, righteous, and mean. And very much unnecessarily so.

So, it’s really quite sad to watch, and I make an effort not to pay too much attention and to keep the volume down throughout most of it (lots of yelling, you see). However, the dancing is so beautiful and makes me wish I could be back dancing again and doing dance I never even got to do… I just wish I could do it all now. However, the world I’ve there is not really set up to help adults learn new things – just kids. :/

Post-a-day 2023

Potato drama

So, hemorrhoids… prepare yourself now, or leave now, because onward we go!

I have hemorrhoids. I used to have them off and on, usually very clearly tied to stress and to sitting rarely on hard surfaces. As soon as I chilled out a bit or spent more time on chairs and less time sitting on the bed, they would pop back in like they had never come out in the first place.

However, for the past couple years now, I have HS them sticking out consistently. They improve and get worse off and on, but they haven’t gone away completely in at least two years, almost three now.

I mentioned it to the chiropractor the other day, just asking if she knew anything about them and if there were, perhaps, some connection to the other stuff going on with my body that could help me heal them. What she said actually surprised me.

What did she say? Well, she said, ‘You know there’s a natural cure for that?’

Uhm, no, I did not. If I had known, I most likely would have tried it by now. Haha

So, she then proceeds to tell me that potatoes have these healing enzymes that help to heal skin – never knew about that either – that also, supposedly, help to heal the end of the intestine’s development of hemorrhoids.

And so, I was prescribed a pure potato suppository. Just a tiny bit, peeled, not even the size of my pinky nail, but a potato suppository.

Yikes.

Naturally, I had to warm up to the idea for several days, as with just about everything else. Then, I went and bought a bag of organic potatoes – no need not to do organic when the whole point it for my body to absorb everything in the thing! – and did my first suppository.

Yes, it was stressful and I was very uneasy and my inner bum felt super weird for about twenty minutes while it adjusted and resettled on the inside. Then I was super stressed the next morning when I couldn’t seem to have a regular BM, and all I wanted to do was to be able to poo and get this potato piece out of me. Finally, my body decided it was truly ready, and not just faking it anymore, and the potato and all the rest exited my system, to my great emotional relief.

The next potato was to be two nights later. I did it. We had a similar experience with the morning bowel movement not happening at the regular time. Finally, after belly aches for hours, it all came out around midday.

The thing is, the previous morning, all had been normal, timing and all. The following morning, too, all was normal. So, I decided I needed to have a rest from stressing all morning while at school, and wait for the weekend for the next one.

The two I had already done, coincidentally, already had made a huge difference in my hemorrhoids. The size was down by half, at least.

But my body does not like to let go of these potato pieces. So, I waited for the weekend for the next one… and then I forgot. I remembered after I had already showered and gotten ready for bed, at which point, I couldn’t bring myself to go cut up the potato and deal with the whole process of getting it in and all that emotional stress involved… I still have OCD, mind you. Yes, it has improved massively. But I still have a very strong dislike of anything associated with dirtiness, especially after I’ve showered before bed. So, it didn’t happen this weekend.

Tonight, Sunday night, I made myself go get the potato piece ready when I remembered right before my shower. I want these things handled. I want my body to heal…

Of course, I forgot while I was in the shower, and had to do it right afterward, which freaked me out a bit. But I had to do it the other day that way already, so I knew I could manage, even though I really disliked doing it that way. And the piece was longer than usual tonight, which also stressed me a bit, though logic and physics and geometry told me it was 100% fine.

Nonetheless, I got it done, though I had a total struggle initially. I was yelping and whining at first, my man even came to see if I was okay. Somehow, he guessed exactly what it was when I answered that, ‘No!’ I wasn’t okay. “Oh. The potato?” No hesitation. He just knew. 😛

Eventually, I tried a slightly different angle and all, and it went in normally and relatively easily, and it was handled. Now, to walk around and suck my butt in for the next ten to twenty minutes, and all will be well. (And it has been.)

I just hope I don’t have to keep doing these for much longer. The first two seemed to help immensely. I hope this one does the same. I’m ready for my butt to be normal again, please. (We’ll work more on the rash next. She also gave me something to try out for that.)

Dear God, please, heal my hemorrhoids and bottom problems. Help my body to be strong and well and beautiful in all ways. Help me to be the best I can be, that I pursue and fulfill your will. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Alone with the dog

This weekend, the dog and I are hanging out together. I miss my man, of course, but I’m also okay. More so than usual, even. The dog, however, is a different story. She rushed out to look for my man’s car when I got home, and was clearly stumped when she couldn’t find it. Ever since then, she has been pacing or lying down right by the back door, quite obviously waiting for him to get here. She even went off and on breathing heavily through both doors that he normally would use to come inside… it’s her odd way of showing impatience while also trying to smell if someone is on the other side of the door.

She misses him. 😛

It’s funny how she always knows when he’s getting ready to leave town. She picks up on the shift of packing and putting things in the car, even if she isn’t out by the car to see any of the loading up happening. As son as she notices he’ll be leaving, she keeps a wary eye on the car, and often tries to get inside of it the first time one of the back doors is opened at all. I imagine this morning was no different. She likely knew he was leaving, especially since he doesn’t normally go anywhere in the middle of the morning like today, and he certainly was scrambling to pack his clothes and all, likely strewn about in various places in the house (since he hasn’t fully unpacked yet from the previous two trips that just happened, and laundry was only just begun). But, whether she knew or not, it is definitely clear that she knows he’s not here and that she wants him back here. 😛

Good dog.

Dear God, please, keep us and my man safe. Help him to have a wonderful and wholesome and safe weekend this weekend. Thank you for this life. In your name, I pray. Amen.

P.S. Did you know that today was Friday, the thirteenth of October? I totally missed it. 😛

Post-a-day 2023

Jobs

I suddenly got the urge to check up on job postings for my man tonight (as I’m getting into bed, of course, because what else would I need to do when I’m needing to go to sleep?), so I did a quick search. I sent him one actual serious listing at first. Then I sent another that seemed interesting. Of course, it had shown up under the search criteria of “remote” for location, but, after checking after sending it to my man, I saw that it lists specific locations. Basically, that part was dumb. However, I’d already sent it to him. So, I iust added that I don’t actually want to move. It just sounded cool, and I liked that they included the salary range in the posting, so I was sharing with him.

But seriously, why do jobs not include a salary range in the posting in the first place???????? It actually matters, and it makes a difference on many levels. Plus, it would save a lot of time for a lot of people, including the ones who are doing the hiring in the first place. They waste loads of time interviewing overqualified candidates for low-paying positions, and also waste loads of time interviewing under qualified people for high-paying positions. Plus, who wants to get a job and find out after the fact that the company gave you the lowest possible salary, even though you’re massively qualified? Just be up front about it, please. Everyone.

Post-a-day 2023

Drama queen

“I gave you a chance, and you chose violence!” he declares, a sense of both betrayal and comedy in his voice as he practically runs away down the hall.

You see, he was giving me a hard time about giving him a goodbye kiss, not bending over far enough for me to be able to reach him properly. So, I said, ‘Okay, fine. Goodbye,’ and I continued on to my next intended activity… which was filing my nails. One was bothering me still, and I needed to fix it, you see. But he can’t stand nail filing. I always have to make sure I do it when he isn’t around, or that I go be sneaky across a room, turned the other way – something like that, anyway. Since he clearly wasn’t going to give me a kiss without my having to jump or something absurd, I let it go and moved on. The moment I pulled out the nail file, though, he yelped and started running. I merely started laughing. Either come back and kiss me, and I’ll put it away, or I’ll just continue on with my plans, I told him. His response, of course, was where this story started. 😛

And no, he did not give me a fair chance of kissing him, but he had, technically, given me a chance. Boy, did he get a bit of a shock in return for his lack of fairness and kindness. 😛

Post-a-day 2023

A change of plans

We were scheduled to do the fun Stein-hoisting competition tomorrow at an Oktoberfest event, and enjoy the related Oktoberfest bier vom Fass at the brewery. However, when we found out it wouldn’t be happening until 4:45pm, we bailed. We had tried to find the time all last week (We totally would have gone last Sunday, though they had no contest Sunday, if we’d known the contest happened so late in the day.), but there was never a schedule available.

You see, we’re scheduled to take our miniature vacation this weekend at my uncle’s spare house in Wimberley, and only had delayed from today to tomorrow afternoon so we could do this contest and get the Steins and have the lovely beer, all for a great price. But, with the contest so late, we weren’t interested in staying in town so long. So, we went and had a single beer each at the brewery this evening, then had hot pizza at Costco. Now, we can get up casually in the morning and head on out.

The whole point of this vacation is for us to go not-home together for a couple days and to be able to enjoy the nice weather. Basically, I want us to have some breathing space, but together. We’ve both been struggling lately with not getting done the things we want to get done, especially at home. So, rather than stay home to do the things, since I have off school Monday, we are taking advantage of my long weekend and taking a trip for ourselves. We’ve had to cancel every other trip we’ve planned this year already. He got to go work in Mexico for a month last month, and for a couple weeks in early summer. But I haven’t done any kind of vacation, and I have been miserable lately, drowning in my own stresses and failings. I need to leave the house and go somewhere that doesn’t cause me even more stress for just a bit, and I want him to be with me.

Next weekend, I can go back to getting stuff done at home. But I just need to take a step away this weekend and breathe and spend un-stressed time with my man in a place where we both are at ease and have nothing pulling at us to be done.

We almost had to cancel, because none of our dog-sitting plans were planning out. Both back-ups failed after the original pulled out. Fortunately, we found someone today who could help us, and I feel like I can finally start to breathe a little bit more deeply now that that is handled, at last.

Anyway, I think I need to go on this trip so badly, because I’m already feeling so depressed and like a failure for leaving home instead of getting things done here. I think that is exactly the reason I need to step away from home for a couple days…

God, help me to find the rest and relief I seem desperately to need right now, and help my man to do the same for himself. Keep us safe. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

A few days’ time

Whenever I want to do something that 1)will take extra effort, 2)requires extra time, and/or 3)is a shift in or from routine, it usually takes me a few days’ time to process the idea. First, I hit the point of knowing that I really would like for it to happen – not just that it would be nice, but that I truly want the resulting shift or change or whatever. Then, I just kind of sit on that idea for a bit, let it simmer, let it develop naturally, rather passively, without putting intentional effort into it. After a few days, I have causally developed a plan. I start doing little steps that assist with the impending shift. Eventually, I determine that I’m almost certain that I want to do it a certain way or time or whatever. And then, somewhat suddenly, though usually within 24 hours or so, I dive right into it and make it happen.

And then it’s done, like it was no big deal and was always going to happen on this day and at this time, and now my life has shifted in some subtle or huge way.

No matter what it is, be it rearranging furniture, unpacking boxes, getting rid of things, shaving my legs, or putting up a shower curtain, it almost always takes the same few days’ processing time before I make it actually happen. Tonight, it was the shower curtain.

And it looks great.

And it feels silly that it took me days to put up a shower curtain, once I’d determined that I was pretty sure I’d wanted to put it up.

But it did. And it almost always does. And it was perfect that it was tonight, and I am grateful that I got it done at a time when it didn’t cause extreme stress, as it would have done had I done it at any time beforehand when it had come to mind. Instead, it got to sit in the background and ruminate, and I was able to arrange time and effort for it to happen with ease, rather than total stress. Tonight, I fit it into the schedule without having to sacrifice sleep or any other already-scheduled task. For that to happen, it always takes a bit of time to get everything to shift just right. And, tonight, it did,

Thank you, God, for the ease of tonight’s shifting task. Thank you for giving me these opportunities to make positive changes in my life without having to stress immensely over them. Thank you for the ease it allows just to let things sit for a bit before taking action. Please, help me always to see clearly my next step in pursuing and fulfilling your will in my life. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Oh, my head…

It hurts. And it has been hurting since late this morning. It got loads worse tonight, though. It could be tied to menstruation and it could be tied to not enough food or water for the day. Frankly, I think it’s all three, the food and sleep especially. So, I shall sleep now… in hour and a half increments, because of the menstruation… and see how it goes.

God, grant me restful and healing sleep tonight especially, please. Bring my man and the dog and all their luggage stuff home safely tonight while I sleep. Heal my grandma and my brothers’ dad, please. Heal us all. Help us to pursue and to fulfill your will always and in all ways. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023