Sleep, again

Sure enough, I didn’t sleep well last night. First half of the night seemed fine. But the second half was filled with either coughing or an inability to find physical comfort in my comfortable bed. I went to school today exhausted.

And I was kind of on edge all day. I took a nap for close to 15 minutes between classes this morning, but had to be on and going the whole rest of the day. I had wanted to do a quick workout right after school, but I was beyond myself. I just wanted to go home and shower and sleep. And, possibly, cry, too.

I had to deal with a lot of kids being upset that they got grades they had earned, mostly due to late submissions and not following instructions. I hate having to be so harsh with them, especially when they aren’t prepared emotionally for it. One kid is clearly an A student. His partner for a project is older and more of an A/B student who understands his own weaknesses. The older student messed up and turned in something wrong. The younger student didn’t confirm with the older that all was submitted correctly. They both lost points for it. The older student made a request that would get them some points back, understanding that he had messed up and the grade was a necessary result of that. The younger student was incapable of taking responsibility for his own role in the poor grade. (We’ll ignore the fact that the thing submitted was their first draft that I had forced them to change, because they would have done terribly as a whole with it only that way. If I’d said nothing in the first place, they wouldn’t have had a better version, and they both would be sad about the grade with equal fault feelings.) He just couldn’t be with the offering of the poor grade that had already been improved from the original poor grade. And I say “poor grade,” meaning it would go from a 60% to roughly an 80% (with the requests and concessions the older student had made). 80% wasn’t good enough for the younger student… but he didn’t do any of it right in the first place, and he didn’t play his part in making sure the fully updated version got submitted properly.

Frankly, the more I think on this, the more I feel he needs to deal with the mistake he made, to take responsibility as his partner did, and to accept the generous offer not only of my telling them to fix it before I graded it but of my offering to accept the fully updated one as a late grade. I don’t want to be mean, though. I do want them both to learn – that is the true point. I also know that this will not crush the grade for either of them in the class. It’s a minor project, and we grade rolling for the semester. So, it’ll count as almost nothing by the end of the semester. (Perhaps he is mostly worried about the quarter grade and making the A list, though… hmm…)

Anyway, I told them the grade they would have received on the updated project – I had offered to average the two grades, too, but he wouldn’t accept that either – and I told them to think on it and get back to me with their request/s. Officially, my job was done – I had graded what was submitted. If they want something different from that, it is on them to make the request. That’s fair, yes?

Fingers crossed that they come up with a just solution. I want them to learn and to grow from this, not be jerks forever afterward to each other or to me.

God, help me to see clearly how best to make a positive difference in my work each day. Thank you for my job and for my husband. Please, keep my husband always safe. In your name, I pray in gratitude. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Home

Having the adventure in Galveston was lovely, and I am grateful for the wonderful weather we ended up being able to enjoy yesterday and today together and with the dog. I love our little family we have right now, and it was wonderful doing something different from usual together. One family said they thought the dog was a lamb, because of the way she trotted (and that she was wearing a white Christmas sweater, though they didn’t mention that part). That was hilarious.

Nonetheless, we had horrible sleep in a terrible bed under a ceiling that made monstrous noises every time the folks upstairs walked (which was every half hour to hour from 10:30pm to 7:30am, unfortunately). I didn’t sleep almost at all the first night. Other guests were gone last night, so we merely had the horrible bed and pillows with which to contend, give us a significantly better horrible night’s sleep.

I am grateful for the trip we took together.

And I am grateful to be home from it.

Thank you, God, for the pleasantness of this weekend, and thank you for our wonderful home. Help us both to honor and respect it better going forward than we have in the past. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Volunteering

Head of athletics asked me yesterday if I could help with the track meet after school today, 4-8pm. My man had his own meeting then, anyway, so timing worked and I agreed to help. Today, it made for a long day for me, but I was clearly a big help in what I specifically did, and I really enjoyed myself at the meet. Next time, I might opt for a different job, but this one was a fun mix of chill and on-ness, and I even got to hang with some students of mine for a while, just watching the events and getting all the details of each runner from them while I waited.

I hung with other coaches and teachers for a bit afterward before heading home, and that, too, was a delight. All in all, it was a great day, and I am now exhausted.

Thank you, God, for the extra day off school tomorrow. Even though I don’t get paid, the rest will do me good and give me a good start to be able to put away clothes this weekend. Help me to make our house the home we long for it to be. Thank you for this life and this opportunity. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Thermometer

I’ve been working on tracking my cycle exactly, so as to know what specifically it does. I’ve had a good understanding of the phases for most of my life. However, I’ve never paid super close attention to them, as it’s never really been relevant for me. It’ll be relevant starting Tuesday, though, so I’ve been working on tracking it all the past month again. (I say “again” because I had practiced it for a couple months or so last year to see how it all looked, and determined I didn’t want to hassle with it until a month before the wedding, when it would be especially relevant.)

However, it has sucked. I just don’t have a consistent schedule right now, so I wake up at all different times, depending on the day, and I also go to bed at all different times, depending on the day. The Christmas and New-Year break was an absolute mess of inconsistency. And this tracking stuff needs consistency.

I’ve been much more consistent the past week, since school started. But it still hasn’t been great. I have to get at least four hours of unbroken sleep, and take my temperature at roughly the same time every day. I have trouble doing anything at the same time every day right now in life. Before I met my man, I was like clockwork on just about everything. Since he showed up, however, I adapted to his slightly chaotic schedule in an effort to spend more time with him.

And, separate from the struggle of doing all this tracking, the schedule has really been wearing me out. I love my man. But I am not well if I do not sleep well. No one is. And I somehow can’t sleep well beyond about six in the morning, and that’s at the latest. My best nights of sleep are when I go to sleep by nine o’clock, and wake up naturally around five. Eight to nine hours of sleep that ends by 5:30am seems to be the ideal for my sleep effectiveness.

Anyway… so, I’m working on getting myself back to that consistency. Because this has been really sucky not being able to track this stuff efficiently, only adding to the stress I already have of not sleeping enough or well in my daily life.

Dear God, help us to create healthy consistency in our sleep schedules, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

P.S. God, can we have perfect weather on Tuesday, please, so as to do the things we really want to do for our wedding reception? In your name, I pray, please. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

B-E-D

Today, my best friend came over and is spending the night tonight. She lives in the UK right now (and mostly has since 2009, with a 1.5-year stint in Africa recently), and so is in town visiting family for Christmas, and I get to have her for a day and a half.

After attempting to go to bed a bagillion times, we finally fussed at each other, telling the other to ‘go to bed and stop talking to me’, and rushed away and slammed doors shut, so we couldn’t keep talking to each other. We were getting ready for bed almost four hours ago, and still hadn’t managed it – we could talk forever, if only we had the physical energy for it. But we need sleep, so we had to cut it off and run away quickly before we started yet another conversation.

Thank you, God, for the blessing of C in my life. Can she move to Texas for a while yet, please? In your name, I pray in gratitude and praise. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Theatre

We went to a show tonight. It was a one-man-show about Katharine Hepburn. It was called “Tea at Five”, I believe, and was a delight. And it was about Katharine Hepburn from the 1930s, not Audrey Hepburn from the 1950s. We looked it up afterward, and discovered that she and Audrey were related only distantly by a great-great (and maybe a few more greats) uncle, who ended up being a husband to Mary Queen of Scots… something like that, anyway. But Audrey wasn’t even her niece or anything reasonable. 😛

Anyway, the show was great. I’m exhausted, though. I almost cried after I got home when I realized that I don’t have to go to school in the morning. I was so relieved, because I’m just so worn out from the semester as a whole, but also from this week in particular.

Granted, we’re doing breakfast with my dad in the morning, so we have to be out the door at 8:30. But I can still rest well tonight.

Thank you, God. Keep my man safe, please. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Sleep, at last

I stayed at school today to work. I waited to work out, because I was able to be productive during last period. And then I kept being productive… until I finished with everything. Exams are done and ready and sent off for approval. All grading has been completed, even the late grades. When I finally finished at nearly 8pm, I was done. Time to go home and go to bed without dinner.

Actually, I had the final breakfast taco and a few bites of pumpkin pie as dinner. But still. Barely ate that, I was so tired already.

I’m really glad I got the work done – my brain and nerves needed it. I feel such immense relief now, and I can also show all the essay stuff to students tomorrow, which they’ll appreciate greatly, I’m sure. (Most of them, anyway!)

But I’ll have to do a workout Saturday or Sunday, or do two tomorrow to make up… so, we’ll see… 😛

Dear God, thank you for the Christmas lights going up tonight. Thank you for my home. Thank you for my man. Thank you for my job. Help me to do well by them all, please. And by you. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Over the Saturday morning work

I love Saturday mornings. But part of that love’s foundation is in the fact that I get to choose how to spend my Saturday mornings. I can be up early and exercise or do things on my own or with family or friends, or I can sleep in after a late night of fun the night before or just lounge through the morning, moving from the bed, eventually, to the sofa… But I get to choose how I see myself most enjoying the morning each time…

Except when I have to work. Every time I have had work on a Saturday, I have been stressed and annoyed, even if just a little. I dislike doing it. When I proctor these tests, I have to get up earlier than even when I go to school during the week. And, right now, that doesn’t work too well for me. I’ve been on a mix between my man’s time and my own, meaning I get to sleep later than I want, and so have to stay in bed an extra couple hours past when I naturally wake most days.

Ugh… and then I have to sit there all morning being vigilant while the students take this ridiculous test that they’ve been taught specifically by the company now how to take… nonsense… just nonsense.

Anyway… I’m exhausted and going to sleep now.

God, grant me restful sleep, please. Thank you for the financial compensation tomorrow’s work offers to me. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023