Tag: ambivert

So much energy…

So much energy today, after so much energy last night and so little sleep… has me worn tf out… seriously. I’m too in the middle to be so surrounded by extroverted stuff for so long in a row. I need that balance of the introverted stuff and low energy breathing room. Too much of either is too much. Balance is where perfection lies for me, and this weekend has been way out of balance so far.

I look forward with gratitude to tomorrow and to having much less stimulation. Still won’t be what I fully need, but it will be less, and I am grateful for that.

God, thank you for this life. Please, help me to find the ease I seem to need right now. Help me to release this pent-up strain from overstimulation. Help me to be myself and at ease, breathing fully again. Also, please, keep my man safe and well, and the dog and vehicle and stuff, too, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Ugh

I feel somewhat depressive tonight. I don’t feel like I did anything very valuable today, and I didn’t accomplish much that can be seen. I probably just need to go to bed already, and actually get stuff done tomorrow. I went to bed at almost three in the morning last night, so much sleep was had today. I did research and purchase an important present for someone this morning – need it for this weekend – and I went to the special night prayer service at church tonight after Mass. I also rested and movie-d today, which I energetically and emotionally needed, I think. The party last night, which followed three other events filled with people throughout the day, which started at 7am after only five hours of sleep, left me quite drained in all accounts. I need people interactions in my life, but that was a lot to manage yesterday, especially being already physically tired to start off the day.

So, today was necessary and valuable exactly as it was. By it just felt lame and unproductive. Plus, I’m about to start menstruating, which isn’t helping this feeling improve. I feel like there is an innate part of us that always knows that we are here to reproduce effectively, and it lets us know when we are not doing our jobs. For me, I end up stressed and feeling like I’m sucking at life – even when things are great – just about every menstrual period. Bizarre, I know, but real.

Anyway, I’m off to sleep. Exercise in the morning will help with the feelings, too, and I’m hoping it will kickstart my tidying up my bedroom at last. Fingers crossed!

Post-a-day 2021

Still tired…

Apparently, I am still recovering from the past couple weeks and all of their excitement and whelming. This afternoon, I was struck slightly by a thought. It was a worrisome concern. And, instead of it’s just remaining that, it kind of spread, virus-like, into so much more, I was a mess and ready to cry and rush home to ball up during, of all things, karate class. That class is usually my active healing time, my fight club, my releases. However, because I’ve been so worn down, my mental capacity was somewhat shot by this afternoon, and I could hardly keep it together enough to be in class, let alone put forth full effort. My full effort was measly, really, which brought me down even more, mentally.

Granted, I started menstruating today. However, that was only icing on the cake that gave me the exhausted ache of my whole being right now.

Anyway, off to sleep to help as best I can, despite the delay (due to yet another technological letdown) on getting to bed at a reasonable hour.

Post-a-day 2021