It is absurdly late – 3:20 AM – and I am exhausted, but I have been online shopping discounts after having discovered my sizes in the store today. The discounts are amazing and so worth it. And that’s exactly why I wanted to do them tonight, instead of waiting until tomorrow, at which time they genuinely might be sold out of stock. It was also exciting to get myself some fun “presents”. But the pricing was amazing. Just amazing. I am extremely grateful.
Now, I shall rush to sleep for the brief period of time that remains to me before my alarms will sound in the morning (slash later this morning).
Super fun fact, though: I set up my “Christmas Tree” tonight!
I always have the white lights up, as they are like my lamps for my room. But I’m thinking of moving the white entirely, so it doesn’t clash with the tree. I wove it in a bit, instead of just having it cut straight through the tree, like it did in its original “lamp” position, but I’m thinking that isn’t enough.
I’ll contemplate it tonight and tomorrow, and see how I feel tomorrow night.
I’ve been contemplating the state of my room a lot lately… and I think I’ve come to the understanding that I am letting my fear determine what I do with it (or, in this case, what I do not do).
You see, I live in a space that could actually be set up in a really cool and awesome and self-expressive way… totally.
And yet, I still haven’t done that, and I’m kind of really far from it being that way.
And, every day on which I seem to have oodles of time to work on it, I just don’t do it.
I’m scared of having my room be that way, because I’m scared of being the person who has her roomy that way: totally awesome and comfortable and organized and spacious, yet artsy in a down-to-Earth and sometimes nerdy way… and cultured.
Like the beautiful Marianne Williamson quote says, I’m am frightened by my light, by how amazing I could be, can be.
And, by not doing anything about my room, I am letting that fear take over.
But avoidance is much easier than action, than taking on the real stuff.
So, the question now awaits my response: Will I take on this fear of my own greatness, and create my room to match the life I want to lead and can lead?