It is a good feeling when things start to feel possible.
It also can be a stressful feeling, knowing that the time has come to pick and to make things happen… fast. A fast deadline for a big-deal project is always kind of a stress ball…
God, help us to handle this all well and beautifully and perfectly with your guidance and will. Help us to fulfill these dreams you have granted us. Thank you for this life and for these new possibilities. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2023
I seem to be making progress on various things, though it is heavy-going. I am grateful for the progress, but it isn’t feeling much lighter, likely because I am carrying a lot for a lot of things right now – lots of progress to come, one could say! (Others might say it’s a long way to go yet… so, pick your flavor!)
I asked for something today, too, and not angrily or meanly – just straightly. And the answer was a very decent and respectable one. Nothing firm or final, but a promise to have a back-up option, which is more than I would have had if I hadn’t asked. So, yay for being courageous and asking!
Thank you, God, for all the encouragement and progress of today. Please, help me continue to pursue and fulfill your will by my life. Help me to achieve the goals you have granted me and placed before me. Thank you for this life. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2023
Two different directions for class right now. One would be super easy and fun, the other hard but important. So, I think I am at a point where I just need to mix the two together and just roll with it. I won’t be doing the best of the best options, but I will be doing better than the one I was originally following.
Ugh… not doing the best stresses me out, though…
Dear God, please, let me know clearly how to proceed with this all. Give me the clear guidance that shows me your will through me and my work. Help me to fulfill it always and in all ways. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2023
I pray about things. And I do that both formally and informally. Sometimes, I sit and do the sign of the cross and address God, then say things to Him and, maybe, ask Him for things, and end ‘in His name, Amen.’
Most of the time, though, I pray more in an open prayer. That is, I turn to God, both physically and mentally, throughout the day, and interact with Him. I say things to Him either in my head or aloud – usually in my head, when others are around – and I listen for His replies. He always replies, but I don’t always understand at the time. One of my biggest prayers is for clarity in my next step with everything in my life. I pray that I want, pursue, and fulfill God’s will in all that I am and in all that I do, and I always ask for clarity as to how next to step in order to do just that. And, when it is time to do something other than what I’ve been doing lately, I receive some kind of clear sign – usually in the form of a strong and almost-sudden pull, desire, calling – and I can just feel that it is God’s will pulling me forward, showing me my next step on His desired path for me.
Lately, I have been in what has felt like a sort of limbo. I see not my path forward, and I have no idea how we are going to get to what comes next – because I can feel God’s promise of what is next, but just don’t yet see or know quite what or how it is to be – though I do see what I am to do for right now. He’s told me to do well by the kids – ‘Do a good job,’ He has told me, and I feel that He means for the students.
Naturally, I started stressing at how I’m not being a good enough teacher right now, as soon as I understood that to be His present will. So, I’m working on that.
However, there are so many directions life could go in the next six months, and I find myself getting scared and stressed about that. I cannot yet see where God is taking me, and it is scaring me a bit.
But, of course, now that I’m saying all of this, my obvious answer is, Well, that would be because you are not trusting in God. No duh, banana. No duh… So, I guess it is time to trust fully in God and to let go of the not knowing. He will make sure I know when it is time for me to know. And He will take care of me. All I need do presently is continue to choose Him every day and to do His will of doing a good job. And I do. And I will.
Okay, God. I let go. You can have back this fear I’ve been picking up, and turn it into something gloriously beautiful in a new form, please. Thank you for this life, and thank you for prayer. Thank you for being with me so much and for always being ready and able to listen and, also, to respond. Thank you for your guidance. Please, help me to see exactly how to proceed to create and to realize this amazing life you are offering to me. Help me always to pursue and to fulfill your will by my life. Heal those in need of healing, please. And let me know whatever I need to know, please. In your name, I pray in immense gratitude. Amen.
Post-a-day 2023
We are off on our bicycles in the morning, heading to the port! (Woohoo!) And then heading back.
And then we’re heading up north to an airport! Hadn’t thought about that(!). Haha
Anyway, it’s the annual Park-to-Port bicycle ride for Hermann Park Conservancy and the Port of Houston tomorrow, and we always do it as a family affair. I very much enjoy it. And everyone enjoys the free St. Arnold beer at the end. (Though, I, personally, really like the random dry cider St. Arnold handed out for the first time last year, and that I haven’t been able to find anywhere since. [This is ironic, for those who don’t know, because I basically can’t stand a single cider I have ever tasted, as they all always remind me of the formaldehyde and how cider tastes the way formaldehyde smells.])
So, here’s to hoping for safe riding for all involved and for a successful fundraiser and awareness campaign for the two hosts! Cheers!
God, keep us all safe, please, and bless the event tomorrow with your love and generosity, please. Make our visit to the school afterward be also a success for us, please, and help us to have clarity on our feelings and the direction we need to go with everything. Thank you for this life and these blessings and opportunities. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2023
God, please, give us both clear guidance as to how to pursue and fulfill your will, especially presently regarding our jobs. Help us to see exactly the next step for each of us, now and always. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2023
Sometimes, it feels like God is calling me in a certain direction, yet the world seems to be setting itself against my going in that direction. And sometimes, it feels like I am being offered a choice between two seemingly similar yet extremely different directions, and I truly cannot tell which is the one God is asking, recommending, calling me to pursue.
And sometimes, it’s both at the same time.
God, help me, please, to see clearly your will for me and my family and our life. Help me to see this next step clearly and to pursue and fulfill it with comfort, ease, and confidence in your guidance and will and love. Thank you for this life. Please, help me to live it at my best possible. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2023
So, hemorrhoids… prepare yourself now, or leave now, because onward we go!
I have hemorrhoids. I used to have them off and on, usually very clearly tied to stress and to sitting rarely on hard surfaces. As soon as I chilled out a bit or spent more time on chairs and less time sitting on the bed, they would pop back in like they had never come out in the first place.
However, for the past couple years now, I have HS them sticking out consistently. They improve and get worse off and on, but they haven’t gone away completely in at least two years, almost three now.
I mentioned it to the chiropractor the other day, just asking if she knew anything about them and if there were, perhaps, some connection to the other stuff going on with my body that could help me heal them. What she said actually surprised me.
What did she say? Well, she said, ‘You know there’s a natural cure for that?’
Uhm, no, I did not. If I had known, I most likely would have tried it by now. Haha
So, she then proceeds to tell me that potatoes have these healing enzymes that help to heal skin – never knew about that either – that also, supposedly, help to heal the end of the intestine’s development of hemorrhoids.
And so, I was prescribed a pure potato suppository. Just a tiny bit, peeled, not even the size of my pinky nail, but a potato suppository.
Yikes.
Naturally, I had to warm up to the idea for several days, as with just about everything else. Then, I went and bought a bag of organic potatoes – no need not to do organic when the whole point it for my body to absorb everything in the thing! – and did my first suppository.
Yes, it was stressful and I was very uneasy and my inner bum felt super weird for about twenty minutes while it adjusted and resettled on the inside. Then I was super stressed the next morning when I couldn’t seem to have a regular BM, and all I wanted to do was to be able to poo and get this potato piece out of me. Finally, my body decided it was truly ready, and not just faking it anymore, and the potato and all the rest exited my system, to my great emotional relief.
The next potato was to be two nights later. I did it. We had a similar experience with the morning bowel movement not happening at the regular time. Finally, after belly aches for hours, it all came out around midday.
The thing is, the previous morning, all had been normal, timing and all. The following morning, too, all was normal. So, I decided I needed to have a rest from stressing all morning while at school, and wait for the weekend for the next one.
The two I had already done, coincidentally, already had made a huge difference in my hemorrhoids. The size was down by half, at least.
But my body does not like to let go of these potato pieces. So, I waited for the weekend for the next one… and then I forgot. I remembered after I had already showered and gotten ready for bed, at which point, I couldn’t bring myself to go cut up the potato and deal with the whole process of getting it in and all that emotional stress involved… I still have OCD, mind you. Yes, it has improved massively. But I still have a very strong dislike of anything associated with dirtiness, especially after I’ve showered before bed. So, it didn’t happen this weekend.
Tonight, Sunday night, I made myself go get the potato piece ready when I remembered right before my shower. I want these things handled. I want my body to heal…
Of course, I forgot while I was in the shower, and had to do it right afterward, which freaked me out a bit. But I had to do it the other day that way already, so I knew I could manage, even though I really disliked doing it that way. And the piece was longer than usual tonight, which also stressed me a bit, though logic and physics and geometry told me it was 100% fine.
Nonetheless, I got it done, though I had a total struggle initially. I was yelping and whining at first, my man even came to see if I was okay. Somehow, he guessed exactly what it was when I answered that, ‘No!’ I wasn’t okay. “Oh. The potato?” No hesitation. He just knew. 😛
Eventually, I tried a slightly different angle and all, and it went in normally and relatively easily, and it was handled. Now, to walk around and suck my butt in for the next ten to twenty minutes, and all will be well. (And it has been.)
I just hope I don’t have to keep doing these for much longer. The first two seemed to help immensely. I hope this one does the same. I’m ready for my butt to be normal again, please. (We’ll work more on the rash next. She also gave me something to try out for that.)
Dear God, please, heal my hemorrhoids and bottom problems. Help my body to be strong and well and beautiful in all ways. Help me to be the best I can be, that I pursue and fulfill your will. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2023
Look at this Thing we now have.
I’m absolutely delighted and I can hardly wait for my man to fix it up, so it runs properly again. Hopefully, he will teach me along the way. Likely, he’ll take it to someone who knows a lot more about fixing older cars than he does. However, there will be various bits and pieces all throughout that he will be able to do – and enjoy doing – himself. And I want to learn to do those things, too.
Thank you, God, for my man’s safe travels. Help us to repair this Thing to the awesome creativity and beauty that it was designed to be. Help us to sue our talents and skills in repairing it to honor you. Thank you for this opportunity. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2023
Whenever I want to do something that 1)will take extra effort, 2)requires extra time, and/or 3)is a shift in or from routine, it usually takes me a few days’ time to process the idea. First, I hit the point of knowing that I really would like for it to happen – not just that it would be nice, but that I truly want the resulting shift or change or whatever. Then, I just kind of sit on that idea for a bit, let it simmer, let it develop naturally, rather passively, without putting intentional effort into it. After a few days, I have causally developed a plan. I start doing little steps that assist with the impending shift. Eventually, I determine that I’m almost certain that I want to do it a certain way or time or whatever. And then, somewhat suddenly, though usually within 24 hours or so, I dive right into it and make it happen.
And then it’s done, like it was no big deal and was always going to happen on this day and at this time, and now my life has shifted in some subtle or huge way.
No matter what it is, be it rearranging furniture, unpacking boxes, getting rid of things, shaving my legs, or putting up a shower curtain, it almost always takes the same few days’ processing time before I make it actually happen. Tonight, it was the shower curtain.
And it looks great.
And it feels silly that it took me days to put up a shower curtain, once I’d determined that I was pretty sure I’d wanted to put it up.
But it did. And it almost always does. And it was perfect that it was tonight, and I am grateful that I got it done at a time when it didn’t cause extreme stress, as it would have done had I done it at any time beforehand when it had come to mind. Instead, it got to sit in the background and ruminate, and I was able to arrange time and effort for it to happen with ease, rather than total stress. Tonight, I fit it into the schedule without having to sacrifice sleep or any other already-scheduled task. For that to happen, it always takes a bit of time to get everything to shift just right. And, tonight, it did,
Thank you, God, for the ease of tonight’s shifting task. Thank you for giving me these opportunities to make positive changes in my life without having to stress immensely over them. Thank you for the ease it allows just to let things sit for a bit before taking action. Please, help me always to see clearly my next step in pursuing and fulfilling your will in my life. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2023
hannah ananas 