Tag: stress

Seriously?

I’m still sick. I can talk a bit, but talking aggravates the cough. My nose is still dripping on the back, also aggravating the cough. My neck muscles are tired from coughing so much and from such intense coughing. My sides are tired, too, from the convulsions. I am weak and tired from not being able to eat enough, but eating anything causes immense coughing fits. So, I have to eat quickly and strategically – high protein, easy-to-chew, quick meals or snacks. Even then, I still cough up a storm.

Tonight, when doing the saline rinse in my nose, the right nostril suddenly closed up almost entirely – I suppose from something getting pushed over to it up top – leaving the solution to slide slowly but firmly down my throat instead of out my right nostril, as it had been doing quite decently. After too much of this, despite remaining calm and collected, my body revolted and vomited, right there in the sink. I let a little more water rinse through, just to make sure no vomit ended up in my nose, and I abandoned the rest of the saline rinse. I had hit my limit for the night. I had gotten most of the way through, anyway, and that was better than nothing. I had only thrown up a small amount, and didn’t want to consider what it might turn into if I kept at the saline rinse any longer. I’ll just do it in the morning, when my food is well and digested. Because I need that food right now.

Post-a-day 2023

Quick Karma

Firstly, yes, I am still sick. Improved further, but still breaking into uncontrollable fits of coughing here and there, making my throat sore sheetlet from the intense coughing. My abdominals are less sore, which is a clear improvement. And my throat doesn’t have the burn to it anymore. Also, there seems to be less coming out of my nose as a whole from either direction, which is good. I also can kind of talk again. Though, the taking aggravates the coughing, so it is only so helpful… 😛

Now, down to business: quick karma., as I called it.

So, my man is juicing. Why? He’s struggling with learning portion control and containing himself in general when tasty food is around. He’s doing a fitness challenge right now, and wanted to do six days total (with two rest days in the middle) of having only these set juices as his ‘food’ for the day, as they help ‘cut’, as the guys all call it. Juice cleanses and juicing in general are by nature very low in calories, making them one of many ways people choose to help cut down their fat levels, especially after bulking up.

Well, that’s what my man is doing right now: cutting, in the form of juicing.

However, he keeps eating little bits of valentine’s candy here and there. :/ And then, here’s the kicker. I heard him say earlier how he wanted pizza. Clearly, he saw the leftover pieces from our Valentine’s Day meal together – yes, we had agreed ahead of time that we wanted our meal together to be Costco pizza, because it’s amazing and because a slice is almost like a heart shape – sitting in the fridge. However, he doesn’t seem to act on the desire, and so I say nothing about it, so as not to make it harder on him by talking about food. (He really struggles mentally on these cleanses, in ways I’ve never understood.)

Hours later, he finally rushes out the door to go to the gym for his nightly workout session. It takes him multiple trips back and forth to the car, but he finally sets out, and I start to get ready for bed.

I notice that I’m feeling a little low on something in my own diet, and so go to the fridge to see what can help remedy my situation. The berries I bought will do just the trick, I think. As I pull out the box of blackberries, I end up glancing down at the pizza slices on the edge of the bottom shelf.

But something is wrong… There is too much space. How can this be??

I take a closer look at the pizzas. I know in a moment what is odd about them. They aren’t odd… they’re even… they’re only two.

P——!

I send him a message. I state his name first. Then send another message. “I’ll let you guess what I’m about to ask you…”

He quickly replied with a clever, “Stop.
“🔨🕰️”.

I reply, “Collaborate and LISTEN
“Last chance to guess
“Let’s collaborate on ideas of what this problem might be haha”.

We’re idiots, I know.

He responds, “Yes I left some lights in
“On*”.

“Not a problem, love”

And then I add, “What I’m wondering, is how, when I wrapped and placed three pieces of pizza in the fridge yesterday, there are, somehow, only two in there now… how could that be, when I didn’t eat any pizza today, and you’re on a juice cleanse?”

He immediately responds, “Lolololol”.

A moment later, he adds, “I knew I forgot something… look near our pantry”.

Sure enough, sitting atop the aluminum foil box and zipper baggies is a massive slice of Costco pizza, still wrapped up in foil and cool from the fridge. It hadn’t been there long.

After I discover the pizza slice, he adds, “Dang
“And I still didn’t get to eat it”.

Durn straight he doesn’t get to eat it. In case anyone forgot here, HE’S ON A JUICE CLEANSE(!!!!)! What’s he doing here, trying to cut with a juice cleanse, and then eating a massive slice of calorie-rich pizza??? No wonder he has trouble with self-control under normal circumstances… Ugh! This man… boy, do I love him, but, sometimes, I just can’t see where he’s coming from on things. 😛

And talk about instant karma… he sneaks a slice of pizza, but ends up forgetting it at home. What’s more, if I hadn’t mentioned anything about it, the dog likely would’ve found the slice before I did. Then it would’ve been long gone and made a mess on the carpet in the dining room (where the dog, no doubt, would have eaten the pizza). So, his getting caught actually made the situation better for all. Because the dog doesn’t need that much pizza either – she’d hurl in the middle of the night. Yet another mess he’d have to clean up…

Anyway, with that, I’m going to sleep: I probably rambled telling that all, but that’s where I am in my need for sleep. I wish you a lovely night and day. May God bless you all. Amen.

P.S. Please, God, heal me. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Improvemeh…

Well, the coughing proved to be a big problem last night. After hours of being in bed, I had barely slept a wink – I just couldn’t stop coughing, even when on the brink of exhaustion. My man came through for me and delivered some specific single-ingredient medicine – typically the only kind I want going into my system – to help stop the coughing. Well, not to stop the coughing, but to lessen it significantly. And it did just that. It took a bit to kick in, but I finally fell asleep around 3:30 or 4:00 this morning. And I actually slept. Thank you, God, for some real sleep, at last.

I had hoped only to take that medicine at night, but my coughing grew so terrible by late afternoon, I couldn’t even function. I’m still taking it easy as a whole, but I don’t like having to be on medicines like this. My body can’t truly tell where it is in recovery and what it may most need. Tomorrow is the last day of the antibiotics, and I hope I will be able to back off the rest by tomorrow night or the morning after, too.

Oh, and I hope I have a voice to use again soon, too. That would be helpful… though, I have very much appreciated this opportunity not to speak. It has been frustrating at times, but very good as a whole… a great lesson in patience for me and for my family. Makes me really want to get us into some ASL classes asap, though. You never know when you might need or want to use another language.

Prayers for healing, if you are willing and able, please, for me and for all the world.

Dear God, heal us all, please. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Icky

Started the antibiotics this morning, after a miserable night of almost no sleep. I also took an ibuprofen piece with the antibiotics, and went back to bed. After a while, I finally fell into some only slightly disturbed sleep, which was a major improvement. We shall see how tonight goes. Though I relaxed most of the day, I am wiped. But the coughing doesn’t seem to want to go away – that tickling in the throat from drainage is being quite harsh on me, it seems. And my abdominals haven’t stopped aching, nor have they really had much of a break.

If you would, pray for my restoration of heath and beautiful and beneficial sleep tonight.

Dear God, thank you for this life. Please, heal me. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Still…

Sick. Yup. I barely slept last night, for all the coughing and the crazy stuffy nose that came on last night for the first time. I couldn’t get the neti pot – it is the off-brand this time – to run water through the right side of my nose before I went to bed, so I was a touch concerned at that. Sure enough, I was up around 2am, coughing up more loads of yellow gunk in varying shades. By the time my alarm sounded to get up for my volunteering, I knew there was no way I could make it out there today. I couldn’t even stop coughing long enough to drive safely. Don’t even mention how my abdominals and throat were in big pain, or how I couldn’t talk at all. No way could I be up and out the door in two and a half hours, and then last through 1pm, helping people with things outdoors all the while…

My man had offered around 3am for me to have an ibuprofen half, and I accepted, as I was in such tremendous pain that was keeping me from sleeping, making it all the worse. After that, I actually was able to sleep a bit, with only the small interruption of my alarm, seeing I wasn’t well enough, messaging the team, and going back to sleep.

Now, getting ready for bed tonight, I feel better than I did last night, but still not well. We considered and discussed today my taking antibiotics. How I wake up tomorrow will determine our route for that. I avoid antibiotics whenever my body can handle something itself. But, if it can’t handle the germs, I’ll accept what is needed. Since I’ve been over-busy that past several days, sleep and water and food haven’t been at their best. Hopefully, my body will have a better chance, now that I rested today at home and have tomorrow fully open for rest.

Now, off to shower and another run with the Neti Pot, and then off to bed. Wish me well!

Post-a-day 2023

Another test

Tonight, we did katas. As usual, I messed up on parts where I never seem to mess up. And, also as usual, I am a bit bummed about that. But, again with this usual stuff, I didn’t put extra time and effort into practicing the katas, so that’s what I get. Granted, it isn’t like I did terribly or anything. I likely still got the second-highest score for all of them, which is great, considering how strict our instructor is with kata. So, it isn’t terrible or anything, but I know it could have been better, and I’m a touch bummed that I didn’t work on them more and sooner, you know?

I really like them, though, and I know that one of the ways I learn best is by teaching. So, I likely will teach my man how to do them, and also ask if I can teach them when we’re in class. That way, I can continue to improve with them and use them regularly. Even for my personal katas that I created…

Anyway, seeing as how we had to go ridiculously far for testing tonight at a certain location for karate classes, I didn’t get home until after 11pm. Yikes.

So, must sleep now. Goodnight.

Thank you, God. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Testing

Test number three: passed!

Tonight, we did the timed sit-ups and push-ups and various kicks, all timed, as well as all of our karate techniques, not timed. Only a few of the group didn’t meet the requirement – we have to get maximum points available for this test, versus just meeting a minimum points on the lower belt level tests – and so have to re-do the push-ups tomorrow (and continuing each night until they get enough).

I barely met my max points for the sit-ups, and it was the first time I’d ever done it. I got over 76 sit-ups in two minutes, and it was tough. I genuinely don’t understand how others can get more than that, because I never stopped and I didn’t go slowly at all. Guess I’m just so out of touch with what youth bodies can do, I can’t even fathom it! 😛

Granted, I think they only had to do 78 in those two minutes, possibly 80. So, only four more sit-ups. The push-ups, however, the boys had to get 71, I believe, in the two minutes. But my gender and age only requires 40. That’s 40 push-ups in two minutes! I still took my time and rested and shook out my arms throughout it tonight, and I got around 53 or so. (I knew I was going to get the forty, so paced myself and didn’t push it. It was the first thing of the night, after all, and I didn’t need to drain myself right off the bat.) Push-ups are clearly a non-issue for me. But that sit-up speed… whoo… someone mis-judged what women over 22 can do on that scoring system! Only 40 push-ups compared to 71 for the boys, but 76 sit-ups compared to their 80? That just doesn’t balance out.

Anyway… it went mostly well tonight, I believe.

Afterward, we practiced our little presentation we’re doing for the black belt ceremony, and it went really well.

Now, I’m ready to pass out. Goodnight, all! Thank you, God. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Sunday, Fun Day!

A new girlfriend of mine invited me to come watch a live pigeon shoot today. I went, and it was really cool and I wasn’t scared almost at all, though there were shot guns out the wazoo. Also, real pigeons were being thrown into the air and nailed with shot gun shot constantly. Though, plenty of them got away unscathed (for the most part). It was like nothing I’d ever seen. And, though it was killing a bunch of creatures for sport, I, somehow, didn’t really mind it. I was most bothered by the fact that they pull out the tail feathers when they take them out of the boxes, then by the fact that they then catapult them into the air with a discus throw and then shoot at the birds. As my girlfriend said, in a way, they are doing a service to nature. Pigeons reproduce and overpopulate quite easily, causing infestation problems in different areas. Those areas have groups come in to deal with the infestation. Those groups capture them live, instead of poisoning them all, and then sell the birds to pigeon shoot venues. It’s still kind of nuts, but pigeons very much are rats of the air, so I understand what my girlfriend meant about its being a public service.

This friend is great at shooting live birds, and I had a blast finally getting to see her shoot. She didn’t have a great day in terms of her usual, but it was still really good, and I was properly impressed, nonetheless!

After she finished shooting, she had me try out shooting some pigeons (clay for me, not the real thing!) with a couple shot guns, and I actually managed to hit a handful of those! That was especially fun to do, though I definitely had the initial terror of how loud the bang would be and how much the gun would kick. After the first couple shots, though, I was ready for it all and actually enjoyed it, though it still took a lot out of me emotionally and physically.

Later, she and their gunsmith had me try shooting a few pistols they had there that people often use for concealed carry. I cried after the first shot of the 9mm, but then was clear and good to go for all the rest – no more tears! And I did hit the small plate target on most of my shots! I only missed them for the Hellcat, which felt really weird to shoot and which I did not like. But I got the target even with that one after a few rounds.

One really positive part of shooting the pistols was that I got to see the importance of keeping a gun clean – trouble chambering the bullets and clearing the casings – and the value of high-quality magazines. If the gun is great and the magazine is cheap, the gun is cheap, possibly worthless. We could only load one billet at a time with a certain gun, because the magazine was so cheap it wouldn’t work beyond chambering a single bullet, at which point it promptly fell out of the gun and spilled bullets and parts all over the ground. That was silly and nuts.

So, I got to experience a new shotgun and how still it can be to open and close, compared to a well-used shotgun of s out the same size, easily snapping closed and open. I got to see magazines go wrong. I got to see bullets struggling to chamber. I got to see cases struggling to eject…

Oh(!), and I got to see my man fly over several times in a airplane. That was extra awesome. Just saying. ;P

Post-a-day 2023

Better late-night than never

I finally got him to walk me through the seemingly fifty-million places he lived and with whom throughout his life tonight. I’ve only been trying to figure it out from the random pieces he mentions here and there, but so much of it has contradicted with other things he’s said, I’ve been at such a loss as to when on earth actually went down in his life before I met him.

So, tonight after dinner, he lay on the sofa, digesting, and slowly thought through it all, relaying it to me slowly, but in order for once. There were vague bits here and there, but I finally have a reasonable picture of his moving about and why for each one.

Phew… finally, I feel some relief about that. As it turns out, there were actually even more moves and more convolution than I had previously understood there to be, but I now actually know about them, which makes a positive difference. (At last, I’ll be able to know what on earth his family are referencing when they talk about times passed! Woohoo!)

But it did take a long time, during which I seriously needed to potty, and even had to stand leaning over by the end of it, just to relieve pressure on my bladder. That wasn’t cool. And it was also about twenty ‘til midnight by the time he finished. I was already tired from little sleep and a busy day with teaching little kids at the karate event all midday today, so I was beyond exhausted. But it was worth it, since he was willing to take the time to think through it all, so I could understand things.

Thank you, God, for this life. Please, help us all to release the traumas that we carry. Help us to find comfort, release, and ease in your love. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Golf clubs

I sat down at the computer tonight to get a grasp on the pricing and standards and recommendations of beginner golf clubs for women. A couple hours later, I had a Google Doc that I sent to my man with links and prices of the ones that seemed the best and lowest cost… and a whole lot of stress.

Golf clubs are expensive. Like really expensive.

However, after I sent it, I kept reading, finding further resources, and I found a couple reliable articles that mentioned some of the same sets, but then also a few sets that were even lower cost than the cheapest had been so far. In the end, I asked my golf instructor his thoughts, and he agreed that the cheapest option I’d crossed in the recommendations would be a good starter set for me. (Yippee!)

Granted, my man then let me know about a used set of a really fancy brand that we could purchase from someone in town. The fancy brand, I learned, actually makes a difference in golf. However, beginners usually can’t tell much of a difference until a certain point in improvement. Plus, the idea of cleaning those clubs and that bag is kind of starting to cause immense stress for me right now… So, despite the lower cost of the used clubs (with new grips), I find myself wanting to stick with the new affordable set I’d found.

I’ll sleep on it and see how I feel. I think I’d want to see the used ones in person and test the bag weight and all, and see how I feel about it all in person. The new ones are from Amazon and 1) are new and unused, and so clean and fresh, as well as 2) free to return. So, they have low risk to them. The used ones require setting a meeting time, showing up, and then potentially having to say no to the guy, and leave him feeling like he’s wasted his time… which I don’t like doing for people…

Hmm…

Anyway… I’m off to sleep now. Love to the world. Thank you, God, for this life and these beautiful opportunities. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023