Author: hannah.ananas

Unbelievable life

Do you ever find yourself filled with this unexplainable feeling of joy and excitement regarding the general idea of what’s happening in your life, and then suddenly realize that the feeling isn’t actually about your own life, but about the character’s life from a movie or book that you were just watching or reading?

And then, at that realization, do you find yourself suddenly totally miserable, and already considering what movie or book would be a good remedy for your current state, while simultaneously wondering if that wouldn’t just put you back in the same position as you are right now?

Life is nuts, I tell you… or, at least, I am, anyway.

Post-a-day 2018

Pallet Ingenuity

I’m spending tonight on a little pallet of pillows on the floor, and it is reminding me of that night I had in Japan, where we had all only just moved to Japan, and so, when I spent the night at a friend’s apartment, she had to make me a pallet out of her clothes, since there was nothing else to use for sleeping on the hard, wood-like floor.

We got creative and resourceful, and it was great.

😛

Post-a-day 2018

Dear Goodness, really??

I’ve noticed that I have been having trouble getting myself to go to bed recently.  I realized only just now that it is in large part due to my fear of roaches.  I’ve been housesitting, and there have been at least ten roaches with which I’ve had to deal over the past week-ish (not to mention the surprise flea infestation).  Talk about panic and paranoia taking over, I’ve been a sort of total mess this past week.  When I opened the door to bring something out to my mom this evening, a roach came rushing inside, and I screamed and broke almost instantly into tears.  I could barely speak, as I finished handing my mom the stuff, and headed back inside to deal with the bug.  It’s just not my cup of tea, so to speak, managing such a thing.  Quite frankly, I almost wish that I lived in a hermetically sealed box – at least then I would have clean air flow and no bugs, since it would be magical and all.

Sigh… now, that would be nice…

Anyway, my mom thinks that there is something that the world has been aiming to impart to me through this dreadful bag of events thrown at me this past week+.  I am inclined to see it so, too, though I’m not too sure yet as to what is being imparted to me.   Perhaps it has been something to the effect of being able to appreciate what I already have in life, or to show that even I can survive what I personally consider to be some of the most dreadful circumstances in life, and, therefore, I really can survive life as a whole (something which has genuinely concerned me at times).  Perhaps it is to be a sort of starting block for me to want something more for myself, as I see more and more clearly what sorts of things are important to me in my everyday life.  One thing is for sure: Living in town doesn’t matter much, if I don’t have friends and I don’t have activities in which I am involved.  I’m still on my own all day long, and it sucks just about as much in town as it does in the suburbs.

Yeah…

Post-a-day 2018

When what was easy, turns difficult

Menstruation.

Apparently, it is a beautiful thing, because of its cycle’s potential to create new life.  However, something’s potential is not the foundation of its quality or beauty.  It is only the potential – nothing more, nothing less.  So, while the process that involves menstruation could produce something beautiful, I argue that menstruation is not, in and of itself, a beautiful thing.

Quite frankly, I’m not a fan of it, almost at all, but I do think it is kind of miraculous that a person could lose so much blood, and so often, – and, for me, it is apparently even more blood loss than usual – without passing out on the pavement, ill beyond belief.  It is somewhat miraculous that women do not end up in the hospital every month, due to blood loss from menstruation.  Perhaps it is one of our magical powers as females.  Yes, we can bleed blood, and be totally fine afterward.  (I feel like I’m in Zoolander right now, with that mocking line.)  ðŸ˜›

Anyway, for some women it is totally a no biggie.  For some, it is one of the most difficult times of life, when it shows up each month-ish.  And, for others, it is somewhere in the vast expanse between the two.  (For me personally, I am guaranteed to have very little sleep for two nights in a row, and to have an incredibly strict bathroom schedule for those two days, with the occasional extreme discomfort in the mid-region.)  Whatever the case, it takes something extra, something special, something powerful for females to manage it all effectively, to get up and go, no matter what the body brings.  So, show some acknowledgement of the nonsense with which females have to deal so often, and go do something nice for the females in your life.  They deserve it.

Post-a-day 2018

Family Time

I did dinner and a baseball game with my dad tonight.  It was really good.  Spending such a good chunk of time together, just the two of us, has been something that I have missed greatly in recent years.  We do the occasional quick meal, or trip to the store, but it is never for very long at once, and it has become a rather rare occurrence this past year (and, naturally, nonexistent last year, when I didn’t live in the USA).  Tonight was exactly the kind of thing we both enjoy doing, and especially together.  I think this would be a good something to pursue, finding more circumstances that are similar to tonight’s events, so that my dad and I can hang out comfortably and casually (yet with a specific sort of activity at the source of our time, so that he’s permitted to be out for so long without hassle).

Tonight was good, and there was nothing specific that made it awesome.  It was just good time, and good for our relationship, too.

Post-a-day 2018

Delighted, though iffy

Have you ever gone through with things that scared you, but that you knew were merely all potential outlets for your own greatness (that being the main reason that they scared you in the first place)?  And have you ever had them all line up in a row for you, showing you the extreme degree of possibility that you have developed for yourself in pursuing them?  And were you terrified, yet simultaneously proud, when you saw them so lined up in front of you?

And then, from somewhere in the background, did you grow just a little sad that this was the first time you’d done something like this, because you suddenly saw how much more you could have been doing for yourself and your own potential, starting long, long ago?

Yeah… that is tonight for me.

Post-a-day 2018

Women can, but can we see that?

It is amazing to me how, back in the time of Jeanne d’Arc, it was astonishing that she could do what she did, and especially so, – and this is the biggest part – because she was a girl, and not a man.

Rather, it is amazing to me that such a thing was seen as utterly spectacular back then, in the 1400s, and yet society still has not altered to accept such accomplishments from females.

It kind of makes me wonder what kind of accomplishments would alter society’s view of women, if such acts as those of Jeanne d’Arc fell as a mere anomaly, – even the smallest matter of her dressing in trousers or armor, or being a member of an army, let alone leading it – something that could never otherwise be expected.

Post-a-day 2018