I love being married. And I love specifically being married to my husband.
It’s just a wonderful thing to be able finally to live a part of life we have longed to live, to be husband and wife, together in all ways, and blessed by God.
Thank you, God. Keep us safe, please, and help us always to pursue and fulfill your will as we work to be our best selves. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
It can be very hard to stand one’s ground when kids get sad and start to beg and be pathetic in their sadness at their mistakes… and that is when it is so important to help them to learn truly, to acknowledge how their behavior has failed them and that it must change if they are to succeed, not the criteria for success.
God, give me the courage, please, to hold the ground I need to hold in order to make the best difference for these students and for the world. Thank you for this life. Please, keep my husband and me safe and in your love together. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
I spoke with the dean today and got support on how to proceed with the kid who has been cheating throughout the year. His guidance was helpful by scores. It also helped to know that, should the conversation not go well, we had a clear plan of proving the cheating and then, if it continued, withholding the grade for the class as a whole, since the student hadn’t actually earned one by doing her own work.
When I spoke to the student after school, the conversation seemed to go really well for what it was. She admitted her lack of academic integrity, and helped me understand what was behind it all, where specifically and why she struggled in class. We talked through the class guidelines and agreements – to which she had agreed at the start of the year – and discussed how she could start following them again and how I and others could support her in doing that.
I had been very worried before the conversation. I didn’t know how to approach it without being pissed at her for doing this all year and for making me have to change all sorts of things just to be able to keep her from cheating, when it would have been better for everyone else another way. Because I was pissed at her.
I was also crushed that I had been such a bad teacher not to have addressed it at the start directly and looked to see how to help her start to participate and actually learn (instead of cheat) way back then.
And I think it was that idea that helped me get to the right place.
The whole reason we want them not to cheat is because they cheat themselves out of an education that way. She lost all this time for learning, because she cheated instead. And I was too afraid of making an enemy of her to call her out on it sooner. (To be fair, there were other bad behaviors from her and her group that took up a lot of my energy for class every time, so this was a minor concern over all of that stuff each day.)
Nonetheless, when I went to talk to her, I almost couldn’t speak. Then I just looked right at her, and I got it. She knew and I knew she had been cheating, and neither of us wanted this confrontation. In that moment, I was clear that I cared about her and was worried for her own fears and concerns. And I shared that with her.
I told her that I wanted to talk with her about her academic integrity in the class. I told her what I had been seeing, including specific dead-giveaways of her cheating at times. I didn’t give all the details, because I saw I didn’t need to give them. I told her I wanted to know what was going on for her in class that she was struggling so much – what specifically was so hard for her, because I want to work with her on that. I said other things that were God-givenly well said, though I don’t recall them now.
And she admitted that she was really having a lot of trouble in class. We talked about how she had done the year before, where she had excelled versus struggled, and why the transition to this class kind of hit her like a tank. I made it clear that she needs to follow the guidelines and requirements in class, specifically the number one rule of understanding every word, every time. It is their duty to stop me, to ask me to speak slower, to repeat, to give the meanings of unknown words… and it is my promise that I will do as they ask every single time. And I do. Her class, of course, is the worst at following this rule, which hasn’t helped her have the courage to speak up at all. And, of course, she is very shy, which only makes it harder for her to speak up and thereby admit she didn’t understand something that it seems like everyone else understood. I told her to have friends ask for her sometimes, if she gets especially nervous or feels like it’s too much in a single class. I told her the special secret that not everyone else does know what I’ve said half the time. She isn’t alone in her lack of understanding, and I’ll be having conversations with others on that topic, too.
I also told her that I want to help her and I want her to succeed. I will work with her both during class and outside of class, whatever support or explanation she may need. We are having this conversation because I care about her success.
And, though she looked very much by the end like she was hitting her limit and needed to leave quickly and cry her eyes out, it felt like there is a real chance she got it and understands that I actually do care. If I didn’t, I would have turned her into the dean directly – I had clear proof of her cheating long ago, and still had that proof to hand over at any second. Not something a student would want senior year, to be sure. But I didn’t turn that in to anyone. And she knows that. I just so hope that she will take seriously what we discussed and that I want her to succeed. I was very proud of her, especially because of how I know she has been struggling, when she recited her quiz thing almost perfectly after class today (it was to make up for a day she had been absent). I was genuinely delighted for her success. And maybe that played into finding the right words, too. Maybe that was how I truly was able to get present to my care for her.
Whatever the case, I am grateful I found the emotions and the words. I hope she got them fully and takes them to heart. I would love to see her succeed in this class the rest of the year. I also hope she doesn’t hate me, because it really does suck when a teenage girl hates you – trust me, I know – but that comes second to her success in class. Because my ultimate goal is to offer growth to the students. So, here’s to her newly impending growth in class! Cheers!
Thank you, God. Keep my husband safe, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
Sure enough, I didn’t sleep well last night. First half of the night seemed fine. But the second half was filled with either coughing or an inability to find physical comfort in my comfortable bed. I went to school today exhausted.
And I was kind of on edge all day. I took a nap for close to 15 minutes between classes this morning, but had to be on and going the whole rest of the day. I had wanted to do a quick workout right after school, but I was beyond myself. I just wanted to go home and shower and sleep. And, possibly, cry, too.
I had to deal with a lot of kids being upset that they got grades they had earned, mostly due to late submissions and not following instructions. I hate having to be so harsh with them, especially when they aren’t prepared emotionally for it. One kid is clearly an A student. His partner for a project is older and more of an A/B student who understands his own weaknesses. The older student messed up and turned in something wrong. The younger student didn’t confirm with the older that all was submitted correctly. They both lost points for it. The older student made a request that would get them some points back, understanding that he had messed up and the grade was a necessary result of that. The younger student was incapable of taking responsibility for his own role in the poor grade. (We’ll ignore the fact that the thing submitted was their first draft that I had forced them to change, because they would have done terribly as a whole with it only that way. If I’d said nothing in the first place, they wouldn’t have had a better version, and they both would be sad about the grade with equal fault feelings.) He just couldn’t be with the offering of the poor grade that had already been improved from the original poor grade. And I say “poor grade,” meaning it would go from a 60% to roughly an 80% (with the requests and concessions the older student had made). 80% wasn’t good enough for the younger student… but he didn’t do any of it right in the first place, and he didn’t play his part in making sure the fully updated version got submitted properly.
Frankly, the more I think on this, the more I feel he needs to deal with the mistake he made, to take responsibility as his partner did, and to accept the generous offer not only of my telling them to fix it before I graded it but of my offering to accept the fully updated one as a late grade. I don’t want to be mean, though. I do want them both to learn – that is the true point. I also know that this will not crush the grade for either of them in the class. It’s a minor project, and we grade rolling for the semester. So, it’ll count as almost nothing by the end of the semester. (Perhaps he is mostly worried about the quarter grade and making the A list, though… hmm…)
Anyway, I told them the grade they would have received on the updated project – I had offered to average the two grades, too, but he wouldn’t accept that either – and I told them to think on it and get back to me with their request/s. Officially, my job was done – I had graded what was submitted. If they want something different from that, it is on them to make the request. That’s fair, yes?
Fingers crossed that they come up with a just solution. I want them to learn and to grow from this, not be jerks forever afterward to each other or to me.
God, help me to see clearly how best to make a positive difference in my work each day. Thank you for my job and for my husband. Please, keep my husband always safe. In your name, I pray in gratitude. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
Having the adventure in Galveston was lovely, and I am grateful for the wonderful weather we ended up being able to enjoy yesterday and today together and with the dog. I love our little family we have right now, and it was wonderful doing something different from usual together. One family said they thought the dog was a lamb, because of the way she trotted (and that she was wearing a white Christmas sweater, though they didn’t mention that part). That was hilarious.
Nonetheless, we had horrible sleep in a terrible bed under a ceiling that made monstrous noises every time the folks upstairs walked (which was every half hour to hour from 10:30pm to 7:30am, unfortunately). I didn’t sleep almost at all the first night. Other guests were gone last night, so we merely had the horrible bed and pillows with which to contend, give us a significantly better horrible night’s sleep.
I am grateful for the trip we took together.
And I am grateful to be home from it.
Thank you, God, for the pleasantness of this weekend, and thank you for our wonderful home. Help us both to honor and respect it better going forward than we have in the past. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
Hallow is just so cool. Now, I’m doing this 40-day prayer challenge – actually, it’s really hard that each day has a different length and I don’t know that length until I go to play the recording; some are five to eight minutes, others 22+ – and it’s already cool. But now a priest I know personally has popped up on the challenge for the German one. (Recall that I’m doing a German one and an English one, on top of the rosary and daily readings that I already do daily in English.) Such a fun surprise!
Thank you, God, for Hallow, for the wonderful people I have been able to know, and for this lovely day and my wonderful husband. Thank you. Keep us happy, healthy, holy, please. And keep us always safe and in your arms, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
Have you heard of Walter Ciszek, SJ? He is a priest worth studying. I’ve only learned a bit so far, but have already put his book on hold with the library – I want to read it.
If you haven’t heard of the new app called Hallow, check it out and sign up for the 40-day Lenten prayer challenge called “Lent Pray40: He Leadeth Me”. That’s where I’m learning about Walter Ciszek, and am also having a great chance to try some new forms of prayer from what I typically do.
Thank you, God, for this opportunity. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
P.S. SJ stands for Society of Jesus, an order of Catholic religious. Also, go download the app!
Head of athletics asked me yesterday if I could help with the track meet after school today, 4-8pm. My man had his own meeting then, anyway, so timing worked and I agreed to help. Today, it made for a long day for me, but I was clearly a big help in what I specifically did, and I really enjoyed myself at the meet. Next time, I might opt for a different job, but this one was a fun mix of chill and on-ness, and I even got to hang with some students of mine for a while, just watching the events and getting all the details of each runner from them while I waited.
I hung with other coaches and teachers for a bit afterward before heading home, and that, too, was a delight. All in all, it was a great day, and I am now exhausted.
Thank you, God, for the extra day off school tomorrow. Even though I don’t get paid, the rest will do me good and give me a good start to be able to put away clothes this weekend. Help me to make our house the home we long for it to be. Thank you for this life and this opportunity. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
Yesterday was Mardi Gras, also known in other states who know no French as Fat Tuesday. It is the day before Lent begins, the period of 40 days of meditation and fasting before the celebration of the coming of Christ, Easter. All the sugar and fat stores are meant to be used up on Mardi Gras, thus the name. This includes the idea that we will not be eating sugary or fatty things during Lent, even if they don’t come from one’s own making. The first day of Lent, as well as each Friday during it, is a day that specifically includes fasting and having no meat. That day is called Ash Wednesday. It is called so for that ashes are distributed to all, via a cross on the forehead, to remind us that we have come from dust and shall, one day, return to dust – we are the creations of God and will return to him after this life for eternal life. Ash Wednesday…
Ash Wednesday was today.
Today was also the feast of Saint Valentine, also known commercially as Valentine’s Day. It is a day filled with treats and commercialism and indulgence and, even, waste. It does not line up with the morals of Ash Wednesday… which was also today.
So, today was a bizarre Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday combination – one I haven’t known to happen previously in my life. Definitely interesting to have the solemn day land on and, therefore, trump the celebratory day.
But also interesting that, as someone noted today, “Lent” is right in the middle of “Valentine”, you could say at the heart of it… 😛
Interesting thought to have us reconsider how we want to do Valentine’s Day in the future, too.
Thank you, God, for your love and your creativity and your forgiveness and generosity. We love you. Keep us well, that we pursue and fulfill your will for us in our lives. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2024
“How’s married life?” she asks.
Bizarre stresses, but good.
Job stuff isn’t sorted yet, but improving for both of us.
But, fortunately, we don’t have a horrible green splotch in our hallways or this terrible white section of paint in the hall bathroom anymore, and it feels Really good having them both gone.
“Haha. It’s amazing how little things like that make such a big difference”
…….
And, boy, is she right…
A friend of mine offered to help with whatever when she came to town for my wedding. I didn’t have any wedding stuff that needed help, but a last-minute panic of my man’s had us wanting to paint these two spots that have been the same for actual years. But, since his family was coming over, he suddenly cared about them… them being these two areas of painting that needed to be covered and that drove me nuts every single day… My friend has spent much of her career working in technical theatre, building and designing and painting sets. She also taught shop classes and such. I knew she could handle it and wouldn’t at all be upset at the idea. I asked, and, sure enough, she not only agreed immediately, but agreed with excitement. Just up her alley, she’d said.
So, they got fixed.
And it’s been amazing not staring at the green strip next to the updated A/C panel in the hallway or that horrible white section where the piping had been redone in the bathroom, and it was only ever painted with white, instead of the grey of the bathroom walls.
Post-a-day 2024
hannah ananas 