Why does it bother me so much? Because it shows how inconsistent it is with the direction and intention of my life. And that’s a good thing. Now, my time and attention has the opportunity to be directed intentionally to have a more powerful difference in my life and world, rather than being wasted elsewhere.
But first, I must be brave and speak up.
Post-a-day 2021
Have you noticed that, when seeing someone wearing a mask, our brains complete the face for us…., but often inaccurately? For me, I have noticed that my brain completes the face a perfectly and proportionately as possible. So, basically, everyone is the genetic lottery style of model underneath that mask, according to my brain. And so, naturally, as very few actually win any lottery in life, when people remove their masks, I find this to be less handsome and beautiful than I expected. I mean no unkindness by this, of course – that is just how it is. We are not often perfectly proportionate as a species. That’s why it’s called the genetic lottery.
Now, that being said, have you ever had it turn out the other way? Where, upon seeing someone for the first time without a mask, you find the person to be more attractive than you had imagined her to be? It happened for me to a big degree this week. A colleague, while sitting outside, working on something, was wearing no mask. First, I was stunned by his beauty. Then, I was double-taking, as it occurred to me who this person was. After confirmation, I was stunned freshly. Just wow… he is gorgeous… and I had had no idea. My brain had sorely underestimated the adorable face behind that mask. An error I am fully willing to make again, really. 😛
Post-a-day 2021
When do I feel most beautiful?
In those first moments of waking,
when I’m still snuggled up in bed,
and the room is cold,
and,
before opening my eyes,
I squeeze really tightly together,
and I bask…
In those moments,
I am woman – hear me…
Or…
Don’t.
Because I have no awareness
of anything outside.
There is only I and my bed
and the cold and the warmth
of the air and my sheets,
and my arms and legs
hugging me,
beautifully,
beautiful me.
…
You see?
Beauty is little to do with eyes and mirrors,
and everything to do with just simple me.
(**Inspired by @Christi.Steyn)
Post-a-day 2021
There was a dance tonight. I chaperoned for it. I had a wonderful time. I got to be social yet not, dance around yet not, be chill, walk around, mingle, walk away from people, people watch, and enjoy the world around me.
And my students often were excited to see and greet me, which was wonderful, too.
It was lovely.
And then, at the end, I got to take home some flowers. That was baller, too. Oh, and a couple t-shirts for the school. Boom. Great night.
Of course, it is not well past 1:00am, and I’m only just about to get to fall asleep…, but, I believe, it was worth it.
Thank you, God and Universe for this opportunity and blessing.
Gratitude here
Post-a-day 2021
Why must I be so volatile and cyclothymiac, even bipolar, when it comes to my work and to my self-image and, even, to men?
It’s getting to be a tad old school, and I’m quite tired of it, already.
Ugh…
God and Universe, please, help me to ease these extremes in my life, that I be able to create abundant love and joy through my being and doing in this life, sharing your love and joy as we create it together.
Amen.
P.S. I told a kid today how he was truly wonderful in the musical last weekend. I don’t know the kid – I just recognized him the other day in passing, and intended to tel him about the show, whenever I saw him again. I saw him this morning, possibly as I was handing out breakfast tacos to everyone, and told him then, surrounded by hungry teenagers awaiting their treats. I’m almost certain it made his day, considering the immense grin that resulted, along with his verbal thanks. When I saw him again tonight at a football game, a similar smile produced, with a touch of secret that, I realized, was with me – his gratitude extended even then, and seems likely to last. I am grateful that I was given the opportunity to do such a thing for another, and that I seized the opportunity well. Thank you, all.
Post-a-day 2021
It occurred to me this week that I most likely tend to take over conversations, constantly sharing about myself, because I feel those are the only times someone will listen…, Because I feel unheard in life… I feel no one is interested at any other time.
If I had someone who were interested, perhaps it would be easier not to take over conversations…
Just a thought.
Post-a-day 2021
Have a beautiful, humble, honest, loving man to love me and hold me and comfort me.
Speak Italian effectively in my thoughts (in my head and aloud) and in at least one actual conversational interaction with a native speaker.
Be financially comfortable and confident.
Go on a long run at least once, and embrace the air.
Be ridiculous loads, having fun while at play with the world around me.
Teach people wonderful things.
Love people openly.
Be open with people with my words.
Love myself wholly.
Sing and play much music.
Including some good Christmas music.
Sleep well and effectively at night.
Drink lots of tisanes and some teas.
Embrace my beauty as a goddess embodied in this human life.
Release freely what does not serve me at large and at small.
Learn some Python basics.
Increase my splits and kick height/ease.
Post-a-day 2021
… exhale… then go for it. Sometimes, we just have to be brave and ask. We might be wrong, but that’s okay. Better to be wrong and know it already, so we can proceed forward, than continue stressing and wondering, and then, possibly, missing out.
Because there’s always that chance that we might be right…
Either way, it only gets better if we take on the bravery and just ask.
Be brave. 😉
Post-a-day 2021
What could be better, more interesting, and more useful than simply the word of the day? The bad word of the day, of course. We cannot deny that, though we need not necessarily use bad words ourselves, it is important and valuable to know the bad words, so that we are able to recognize and understand what is being said in the world around us. Foreign language courses seem to avoid such things, but at what cost? Firstly, the individual is likely to be quite lost when interacting with a native environment. Secondly, loads of potential interest is lost without them. Because most teens and adults are quite interested in the bad words, whether they’re willing to admit it or not. And thirdly, such words and expressions share loads about the culture tied to the language.
I am very much not a bad word person. And yet two of my favorite words in Japanese are manko and oshiri. It’s probably because they are such silly yet useful words that I enjoy them so much. They are fun to know, more than useful. Which makes them even more fun to know, I suppose.
So, yeah… the (bad) word of the day sounds like a kind of amazing idea to me… so long as the students can handle it, that is…
Post-a-day 2021
I can actually quite well argue any side of a matter. I’ve known that about myself for a long time now. The use of this skill today, however, surprised me a bit. I was not in agreement about something, and had spoken up about it in private, but had not yet received a response. I did not want to undermine what this person had done, so, when a student came to me, upset in just the same way I was (but worse, because he was receiving the brunt of the blow), I had to hold my tongue a moment and reconsider. What stands before me here? Imagining nothing outside of this room will change, how can I encourage and empower this student here and now and going forward, and without laying anger or blame or frustrations elsewhere?
And then I did just that. I saw a beauty to this new perspective I was offering to him, and was completely impressed by and enrolled in the idea myself.
And no, I wasn’t BS-ing anything here. I was approaching it genuinely.
Which has me wonder if it wouldn’t be a beautiful practice to reevaluate situations and opinions more often in my daily life. Because I never would have found such a deep, powerful perspective had I not been presented with the sudden need to help this student while not disregarding the right of the other person in the situation.
So, I think I’ll be looking into that going forward…
P.S. The kid, I now know, as I’ve had a response to my earlier e-mail, very likely will not be having to serve the punishment he was assigned. It likely only will apply to those for whom it was truly applicable (Aka almost all the other students from that class), after a few further discussions with certain students to confirm.
Post-a-day 2021
hannah ananas 