Tag: dreams

All are welcome

Ironically, this song was sung at Mass on Sunday. Tonight, my love was at an event, and he very much had an interaction that specified that all are not welcome there in particular. And that really sucked for me, somehow, I guess considering how he had to be with being unwelcome somewhere, especially somewhere that had seemed so welcoming to him before. It kind of crushed me how there had been an almost 180° turn there. Only those who want to be only here are welcome here… that must be their inner motto there. And I think that is the case for many things right now. It then becomes an “us versus them” battle, when that is so often the case. Why must we keep doing this to ourselves and to one another? Why must we battle each other at all? What is truly in the way of accepting and embracing people exactly as they are, flaws and beauties and all, ourselves included? Why do we resist it so? Because it’s easier in the moment?

Post-a-day 2022

Trust, and let God

Funny how, when we just trust in God, and we do what we truly feel is what is consistent with who’s kid how we want to be in life, things just fall somewhat perfectly into place. We’ve been working hard to figure out something these past several months. Phone calls and internet research and meetings have happened. We finally accepted the fate we didn’t want, and went with what seemed to be the best option of that particular fate.

In preparation for that to begin, I looked to see what final things I wanted us to do before the program started. From that, I knew I wanted to go to a particular location. We went there today. It was awesome, as I expected. And the thought popped up for me to ask about this whole fate-we-didn’t-love-but-had-accepted situation. And so, despite my fear, I asked.

And God gave us this spectacular answer that altered everything, and made it even cooler than we had originally been hoping to have it be. Blown away.

Thank you, God.

Post-a-day 2022

Restless

Do you ever find yourself, while in the middle of doing something valuable, feeling like you’re doing nothing to make the world a better place? Like you just need to go do something… as though you aren’t already on the middle of doing one of those somethings?

I’ve been sitting at school, grading papers, spending time around students, prepping for my classes that are later today… and I keep feeling so utterly antsy, like I can hardly wait to be done with this all.

And it’s weird for me.

I love to teach. And I love learning. I’m getting to do both of those things right now. So, what’s buggin’?

And I don’t know the answer to that. I am finally growing comfortable – rather, have grown comfortable – with this position, and I’m ready to move on. How come? Am I not making enough of a difference here? Am I bored by it? Am I constantly comparing it to something better that I’ve done, and seeing it fall short again and again? Am I starting to resent it and myself, because it isn’t enough, isn’t good enough on some level or other?

Am I upset, because it just keeps feeling like a constant reminder of how I have failed elsewhere, that I am in a temporary position that, though it makes a huge difference for the school and students, is merely a reminder of the fact that I don’t have my own teaching position… that I am only filling in for someone else for a short while? And so I can find endless issues with the position and the school… thereby making it fee even worse that this was all I could get…

Yeah… it’s looking a lot like that is the reason.

I’m just going to sit with that for right now, and see later what is calling me most in terms of what to do about it.

Until then, May we all experience the blessings all throughout and within our day today. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Arrived

Things have improved much on our trip. We talked through some things last night and this morning, and cleared up some important points in how we each were relating to the trip and aspects of it. We had a slightly tough start at the Jack Daniel’s Distillery, but ended up having a lovely time throughout it, and then an awesome time visiting with my sister tonight. We both tend to get very defensive, very quickly, so it is certainly a process to stop relating to things as a potential threat or unkindness from which e must defend ourselves… but we are improving as a whole, and I am certainly grateful for that!

I think this will be a lovely visit with my sister tomorrow and Monday morning. Thank you, God, for these blessings so far. Please, help us to continue to honor you through our love in all its forms. In your name, I pray. Thank you. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Tennessee

We’re going on an airplane to Tennessee tomorrow morning. I’m terrified slightly, as usual, for the flying part, and I’m excited for the Tennessee part. I’ve never been to Tennessee. So, we’ll be checking out some super famous places that I wasn’t ever sure I’d see, as we’re going to Nashville.

Pray for safe travels for us both, please.

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Prayer

My mom told me the other night, ‘I just listened to Mark Wahlberg say the rosary.’

Uhm… What?????

It’s this prayer app called “Hallow”. I immediately downloaded it and did the daily rosary with narrator Mark, who happens to be the Mark Wahlberg. Super cool.

But it gets a bit better.

The app tracks your use in terms of streaks… ‘Congrats! You’re on a one-day streak!’ We all know that I’m a fan of streaks, what with an 808-day streak on Duolingo right now. So, where I’ve already been wanting to pray more, and I find this app with lots of really cool prayer options – the organization and usability could use some definite improvement, and having the paid options listed all mixed in with the free ones (with no filter) is a bit of a big hassle, though – that not only has Mark Wahlberg for the rosaries, but that also makes it like a game of sorts. I’m in!

Check it out, y’all, and have fun with prayer and meditations and learning all those prayers we hear so rarely but to which everyone else always seems to know the words! (Yes, those are all on there for free, too!)

Post-a-day 2022

Golf!

I had my first golf lesson today. We started and ended early, because a massive – and I truly mean massive – storm was rolling into town. I even had to go alternate routes to get home, though it wasn’t far from the driving range, because the pouring rain filled the streets so badly. I couldn’t even see more than a few feet for a bit.

Anyway, golf lesson. It was awesome. I hit the ball and everything, and I even hit it well a handful of times. Two of them were just like… Whoosh!… That was nice… And the coach even said so on those. It felt really good on those, having good form and balance and everything, blowing the ball out onto the range smoothly, as though I had done it before already. My body liked it. It liked it a lot.

So, it looks like I will enjoy this new hobby, specifically going to the driving range. We’re already going to Top Golf next week for my man’s birthday (the whole reason I took a lesson now in the first place, since I couldn’t even hit the ball when I’d gone with my brother to a range once, several years ago). But the coach let me hold onto the starter club for now, so I can practice, and I intend to practice. Boy, do I intend to practice. I can hardly wait to fulfill one of my dreams of hanging out at the driving range, hitting balls alongside someone I love.

I was nervous, a bit scared. But this has turned out perfectly. I’m so glad I got ahold of the instructor the other day so easily, and I trusted the feeling that he would help me beautifully as I needed help.

Dear God, thank you. Thank you. Amen.

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P.S. God, please, help us both keep level heads – literally and figuratively – when we go to the range together. Please. Thank you. Amen.

P.P.S. I even had a sport skirt and cute shirt to wear, like I knew what I was doing. No collar required at the range, but I still looked very nice and very cute! Woohoo! Thank you, again, God. And thank you to my man for making this all possible. I love you. 😉

Let it go…*

And, some days, life is just tough. Things can go up and down and back and forth from high stress to, ‘I can do this,’ and back all day long. Sometimes, too, it can continue into the night.

Dear God, help me to let go of whatever it is to which I am currently clinging that is causing me such stress and pains. Help me to open my hands and myself fully to you and your will. Help me to release, to let go and let God… in your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

*Ironically, I’ve had one of the Frozen songs in my head all afternoon and evening today, but not that one! “…finish each other’s…” “…sandwiches!”

What to do…

The part-time job I’ve had almost two years has implemented a new policy – suddenly – that is likely to be troublesome. Put differently, I either have to make some big effort quickly, or I will be forced to leave the company.

I determined that I would pray about it tonight, then see how it all feels. I have been considering leaving the company most of this year, but figured I at least would stay through my two-year anniversary and the special winter discount we get to purchase things for others in late November, early December. Logic tells me that, if I was already thinking that way, I likely do not want to work for the company anymore. However, I’m not going to take the easy route of avoidance simply because it is the easiest. I shall pray about this, and then do as God guides me.

Let’s see what that shall mean, shall we?

Dear Lord, please, give me clarity as to what to do to move forward in my life, such that I pursue your will fully, being who I was made to be, my best self. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Dancing

We went to a dance event tonight. It was a country event, but we came for the west coast swing finals part of it, and the social dancing after those events. My man and I did.

And it was awesome.

We danced with each other and with other people. I gave him a sort of mini lesson after we first went downstairs and he got a bit overwhelmed just by seeing everything. (Apparently he had spent the whole day being scared and nervous and trying to create reasons not to come because of that. I had kept asking him all day what was wrong and what was going on, since he was being so snippy and unkind toward me and stressed and all. He had only ever told me that he just needed to ‘get over it’ about each little thing.m, though he never really did… until we started dancing, that is.) He then asked me to dance in the main room before and after the competitions and awards, and he voluntarily sought out four other women and danced with them (always while I was out of the room, naturally). And he and I danced more and more, and I showed him more and more bits, and he got better and better. And it was awesome.

I had begun being comfortable with the idea that I likely would not get to do west coast swing with my husband, whoever he would be, because I never much liked the men who would frequent events and get involved in the typical social culture of dance events and all – read ‘lots of alcohol and sleeping around and being pompous’ – and found it unlikely I would meet my man at any event. And then this guy showed up. In our first night of knowing one another, he voluntarily offers up that he grew up doing a bit of ballroom for kids, and that his favorite dance was probably west coast swing. He’d only learned a bit, and it was all self-taught, but he loved it. And so, God blesses us…

Thank you, God, for this lovely opportunity. Thank you for bringing my man and me together. Thank you for this awesome step into the dance world for the both of us this weekend. Phew. Thank you. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022