As I’ve said before, dreams tend to take care of us – they find where we are emotionally unsettled from the day (or from even longer), and they aim to resolve those points for us while we sleep. We go to bed with suppressed angst, we have a torrid dream of seemingly disconnected and/or nonsensical events, throwing us through emotion after emotion, and then we wake up slightly shocked yet – whether we notice it or not – no longer quite so full of the angst of yesterday. It’s like how we are always told that we’ll feel better in the morning, or after a good night’s rest – our brain helps to heal us as we sleep, and dreams are the part of the healing that we, somewhat, are able to witness.
Last night, I had a long series of one of those dreams, and it was surprising how it was put together. However, it made perfect sense, after I considered it all for a little while today. I am physically attracted to this type of guy, but I am emotionally, psychologically, and mentally attracted to a very different type of guy. It is not the tall, dark, and handsome that keep my attention – they only grab it initially. It is the gloriously intelligent, slightly dorky guy, the one who can’t help but be true to his inner nerdiness, and share it with the world freely, and free from shame. It is the guy who is comfortable in himself and is unapologetically smart and silly, who keeps my attention. (Well, as long as he has good teeth, that is – I can’t stand bad teeth… just saying…)
And so, despite the gloriously handsome guys who could have shown up for the delightfully silly series of events that were an absurd version of dating and loving someone truly, my brain gave me the nerdy genius of the bunch… and I loved it. As I mentioned, I was surprised when I woke up, and I processed the fact that I had just had a mental dating relationship with the least physically attractive guy on my mind. However, it did not take me long after asking the question, “Why was he the one?” that I knew exactly why. My body is attracted to the other guys loads more, and my mind a good amount, but my mind is absurdly attractive to him, when compared to the others… they can’t even begin to compare, really, because they aren’t even on the same plane.
So, yeah, it was a lovely set of dreams… and it really helped me deal mentally with some unsettled stress…, but the dream itself lacked an ending – it just kind of fizzled out, as dreams often do, leaving me wanting not more of the dream but the real thing, life itself. Now, I want more than ever to meet my own nerdy love of my life. And I have no idea what to do about that.
Well, I actually do, in a way… As I have begun, I must continue to pursue this living space beautification process. I see the next steps in it all, and I think it is more important than ever that I take them, so that I can actually achieve this dream of mine with my living space. By pursuing something that is so important and also so difficult for me (yet entirely true to who I am to pursue and achieve), I am making mental and physical space for this person to arrive. I am also setting myself up for the life I want to lead, and for being who and how I want to be in more ways than ever… that, in and of itself, is a bold and powerful step, I believe, in not only inviting but allowing that person to enter into my life, my daily life.
So, now that I’ve had the lovely dream last night, I want to do what it takes to create the real thing for me, to turn the ideas of that dream into my reality. (Obviously, I don’t want the specifics of the dream, people included, [myself aside, that it], but I want the ideas and emotions presented and managed within it to become part of my life.) Basically, I was inspired by my nighttime dreams to create something spectacular and unexpected in my reality. Thank you, dreams. Thank you, brain. Blowing my mind here, and I am grateful… just help me to take the next steps, would you, please? 😀
On that note, time to go to sleep, Banana. 😉