September 2023 – Page 2

Problems

Well, I got one thing resolved today at work, and so am grateful for the resolution. It made an immediate difference, and I was instantly relieved. I think a big part of the relief was that it all confirmed that the people who hired me had no idea the hassle and struggle I was having. As soon as I brought it to their attention this morning, the problem was almost instantly handled. So, it was a good feeling to know that the higher ups didn’t want me to have the hassle I was having and that they believed I was supposed to be treated as an actual teacher – which I am, despite my official status on the payroll – in this matter. I think that part relieved me almost more than the actual issues having been resolved…

Thank you, God, for that clear bit of care and love and of being wanted and appreciated and valued. Thank you. Please, heal those in need of healing. Help me to be a spectacular teacher and to support my family well. Keep my man safe, please. Thank you for him and his love. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Dress-up

We went to a theatre show that took place in Japan in the 1950s or so. Naturally, my mom and I wore kimono and looked awesome. When we first entered the theatre, the director lit up, he was so excited to see us dressed up as we were. One thing led to another, and I was entering into my schedule that I would show up the next evening for closing night to dress the director before the show, in kimono, of course.

My mom decided that she wanted to join me in dressing him, because how could she not? It’s quite fun to provide such an opportunity for someone, especially for someone who has never worn kimono before and has a desire and a reason to do so.

So, I packed up my men’s kimono – most of them, but not all of them, because some belong to my man and to my man alone – and headed back to the theatre this evening. We had a blast dressing him and picking which belt went best with the kimono he selected, and getting it all to sit appropriately on his non-Japanese body. Once he was dressed, not only was his delight visible, he went and showed all the actors and workers his outfit, and they all were really excited about his outfit. (Of course, they remembered us from the night before, because, well, kimono aren’t easy to miss or forget when they’re sitting in the front row for the entire show.)

As people began to arrive, the director was speaking with various attendees, and it was clear they all appreciated his attire. Plus, he just looked really cool. It was definitely the right color and all. I even had had him go take a photo on the actual stage, with its Japanese style walls and all, it just looked so complete a picture. It was just a really great way to complete the show’s run, and I’m very grateful I not only got to be a part of it but the source of it.

Thank you, God, for this blessing. Thank you for this life. Help us all to experience your love and to spread gratitude. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Here I am in kimono, looking wonderfully and ironically awkward

The director all dressed up and on stage

P.S. Always remember to play in life. Tonight’s playing dress-up was such fun, and I look forward to more play and fun to be had tomorrow in some way!

Post-a-day 2023

Breathing room

My man got real with me today about my current stress levels. I have been making an effort to see my grandma, who recently moved to town and is struggling with her physical body a lot at present, most days since she moved to town. He pointed out that I have been living as though my grandma were going to die within the next month… and that it is incapacitating me.

You see, I haven’t been able to get almost anything done at home. There is loads of tidying that I actually want to do, but I haven’t been able to do any of it. And I haven’t even been getting enough sleep at night as it is. I have so much work to do right now, that that, combined with visiting my grandma so often, has left me with no available time and still getting to bed later than I need to be getting to bed each night. What’s more, living on a lack of sleep means that everything with work takes longer and is a lot harder for me. So, basically, I’ve felt like I’ve been drowning for a few weeks now, and it really sucks. I normally get loads done at home whenever he’s out of town, and it currently feels worse than ever at home, though he’s been out of town for two weeks.

And I think he’s right. I can still love my grandma and not drain myself entirely. Even going every other day would be better for me and my physical body, as well as my mental state.

Plus, I need to honor not only my bedtime but my ‘be-home’ time, the time each day I need to be home in order to settle down and get ready for bed on time. I learned years ago that I cannot just slide into bed as soon as I get home. On a super fast night, it still takes me half an hour, which is usually rather stressful having to hurry everything along. A typical night makes my bedtime routine an hour to an hour and a half. If I’ve had a tough day, add an extra half hour of wind-down time. So, when my family thinks it’s no big deal for me to be hanging out for dinner at a quarter to seven, I need to speak up and leave, so I can actually be home by seven. Otherwise, I’m already getting to bed late. Just like tonight. I was just stopping by for 15 minutes. Over an hour later, after having been roped into helping with something, I was finally leaving, stressed and knowing I’d be starting the week off lacking sleep.

However, I did tell my grandma that I wouldn’t be back until Tuesday, the day after tomorrow, which was good for me. And she also seemed totally okay with it. I hope she is. As my mom mentioned today, my grandma hasn’t had so much company and so much visit time in who knows how long. She hasn’t had anything like it the past year and a half. And, even when she and my Opa still lived in their house the past decade or so, they didn’t typically have visits more than once a week from family or friends.

I just hope she will heal and will get to enjoy living here.

God, help us all to pursue and to fulfill your will. Heal my grandma, please. Heal, also, my brothers’ dad, please. Lots of healing and love over here would be awesome, of course. Help us all to be filled with your love and your grace. Thank you for this life. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Ballet

I went to a ballet class this morning. My friend has signed up her daughter, who recently turned three, for ballet classes at a studio in a nearby neighborhood. I had joined them to watch that class this week after school one day. While it was absolutely adorable and a total morale boost, it also made me want to do ballet classes myself.

I had only officially done a beginner series of six classes eight years ago, plus a private lesson and a single drop-in in an intermediate class after the series. I also had had a few beginner drop-in classes here and there years before that. Very little had stuck from those, though.

So, eight years after the beginner series, here I am, stepping into a class that is for middle- and high-school-students, but that is technically an open drop-in class for adults, too.

I was terrified, and I showed up anyway. This morning was certainly a morning filled with courage. I didn’t do amazingly – not at all. But I did do most of the stuff in the class. By the end of the floor work, we were doing some things I had not ever learned to do, so I was guessing and making it up as I went, and also stepping back to observe more before trying it out again. All in all, it was a good time had by me. I imagine the kids in the class were thrown by my presence, but I rolled with it happily. And the teacher made it clear that I was, in fact, invited back both for that class and for certain other ones, too. (I even asked if I could take the lower level classes, and she told me that I didn’t need to take them. So, though I was happy yet serious with my inquiry, she was, too. I apparently am functioning enough to stay in the class.) So, that was cool. Woohoo!

I look forward to improving and to doing better each class.

I certainly have things to work on before I go back, and I hope I can make that happen consistently, starting this week. Because I really want to go back and to do better by a lot each time. I truly enjoy the feeling of doing ballet right. It is such a good feeling. Not because it’s right, but because ballet itself truly just feels amazing to do.

God, thank you for this blessing and opportunity of today. Thank you for the dancing. Thank you for my own sense of humour and easy acceptance of my current levels with everything. Help me to honor you through practice and dancing. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

P.S. God, would you heal my grandma and my brothers’ dad, please? In your name, I pray. Amen.

Stress

Today was tough for me, filled with emotions, both of my own and of others. I did things in ways that weren’t the best, but that were the best I could do with the information and experience I had at the time. Now, only hours later, I certainly would do them differently, if presented with the opportunity again. Sometimes, that is hard to accept, knowing so soon how I could have done something so much better than I did. But, as I said already, I did the best I could with the available information. Now that I have more, I can act differently going forward. I did well at first, and I will do well in the future. Every event is a lesson available to me, allowing me to improve for the future. Today was no exception.

Dear God, please, help heal those in need of your healing. Help release the strain held so heavily and highly by the student today. Help him to accept fully your love and to trust in you. Help him to accept the help he needs and wants. And help him to let go of the restraints that prevent him from getting that help. Heal him, please. Thank you for this blessing of such trust. Thank you for this life. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Only at rodeo

Only at a rodeo meeting can I casually mention that I discovered that Willie Nelson is 90 years old now, and have someone respond, and absolutely unpretentiously, “Oh, yeah… He is. He’s a long-time personal friend of mine, you know.”

These people. What a beautiful mix we all are. I love it and I am grateful to be part of it.

God, please, continue to bless us all at the rodeo. Thank you for the blessings you have granted us thus far. Thank you for the love and the learning and the countless opportunities to make a positive difference for others and to share your love with the world around us. Thank you. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Learning SOMEthing

Context: As a way to help them behave, we did a bad word/phrase of the day two years ago in one class. The words and phrases weren’t actually very bad, but most of them were quite useful for the kids – they were things that they said to each other all the time in English, anyway. Now they could use them in French.
…..

In class this week, a student asked, after finishing the test, if he and another kid could go study in the hall. I told him to ask in French. He said, “N—— et moi pouvons… casse-toi?”

The first part was right… “Can N—— and I…”

The second part means either the command, “Get out of here!” or, even, “GTF out!”

Most of the class, after a momentary pause for all to process and draw breath, burst out laughing as his well-intended effort of unintentionally forcefully telling the teacher to leave class immediately.

At least he remembered something from sophomore year! 😛

Post-a-day 2023

Love from afar

My man is in Mexico. I miss him. I wish he were here. Or that I were there. But that I still could be doing my job… which is here. So, yeah…

I miss him.

God, please, keep him and the dog safe. Help to heal us all, that we may be close to you always and in all ways, and that we may pursue and want and fulfill your will. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Sleep

When will I get enough? When will I find a rhythm that actually works for me again? I am just so tired… everything is difficult right now. I want to do so much more in each day. I need sleep just to get done what I’m already attempting to do in a day, let alone more… I need to sleep more each night.

God, help me, please, to find a rhythm and pattern that gives me the sleep I need each night. Please. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Double FaceTime

I call him on my laptop, and he answers with his phone. He keeps dropping his phone, lying as he is on the sofa before bed. He gets his laptop to call me on it. I plan answer the new call on my phone. We will be on two FaceTime calls at once. He calls it a “three-way”. I just laugh at the stupidity of it.

Suddenly, his name pops up on my laptop screen. He has, instead, joined the original FaceTime call on his laptop.

Ridiculous.

Utterly ridiculous.

Post-a-day 2023