Tag: attraction

The fittest

Sometimes, I think nature is unfair. The Darwinism inside of us thinks only of certain degrees of fitness, when it evaluated those around us. It cares little for whether someone is emotionally available, or anything like that. It cares almost exclusively for the breeding power of the individual. And so, every time I ovulate, I get a terminator-style analysis presented to me of every single male I cross, declaring his ranking on the scale of positive breeding potential…, with absolutely no concern as to whether I actually want to have such an analysis… on any of them, let alone all of them.

But such is life, it seems.

One plus, I suppose, is that I would be well aware of whom to seek out, should we have a population crisis, and we needed to rebuild the population ASAP. 😛

Post-a-day 2021

Uh-oh

Have you ever found yourself unexplainably attracted to ďżźa person?

I think we almost all have, at least once in life.

There are several distinct, specific qualities or features the person has – qualities that typically involve a total lack of interest for us -, and yet… here we are, attracted… wondering when we might next see this person, next interact with this person.

Okay, so, we’ve mostly all had an unexplainable attraction, yes?
But have you then figured out the attraction, found its source?

I once had it with a guy on whom I had previously had a high school crush. He had gotten quite fat since last I’d seen him, and was physically a total turn-off and non-attraction for me. Yet his personality, combined with how I had seen him back in high school, left me thinking often of him, wanting to spend time with him. In other words, I was attracted to him emotionally, though not physically or sexually.

Okay, so, if you’ve ever later figured out the source of this initially- unexplainable attraction, has it ever been because this person reminds you of someone else? Like a Jake Gyllenhall look-alike, or a Brad Pitt, Ryan Gosling… others whom you find physically attractive, famous or not…?

Now, let’s take it a step further. Say you’ve figured out that your attraction to the person was because of the look-alike status. Have you ever, in that moment, then discovered that you find that other person attractive?

Think about that a second.

Person A is unexplainably attractive. Eventually, you discover that Person A looks a lot like Person B, thus explaining the reason for your attraction to Person A, and easing your mind from the constant wonderings regarding how you possibly were attracted to this person with bad posture and crooked teeth. ‘Ah, that’s why! Okay, now it all makes sense…’ And then, like a bolt of lightning, you realize that, the only way for this all to make sense is if you actually found Person B attractive in the first place…, which, apparently, you do…, but you just hadn’t known it until now.

Yeah… that just happened to me.

So, I guess the question that remains is, “Does Person B have a younger, available brother?” ;P

Post-a-day 2021

Space vs Person

Have you ever been attracted to the space of someone, yet found absolutely zero physical attraction to the person, and also no real attraction to all too many details of the person and his/her life?

It is one where you feel that, if you were to close your eyes, you could be content, even delighted, being with this person…

Because, just listening to his/her voice, you feel somehow entirely at ease and filled with… well, something satisfying, comforting, and just a tad exciting…

But, you know that, as soon as you open your eyes, that feeling will be gone…

And so, you enjoy the idea with a secret smile, and just move on in life, without the person as your partner…

Do you know that one?

Yeah… it’s a weird one, I dare say…, but I have definitely been there.

Post-a-day 2020

Now That is one attractive man…

People always talk about their type, like in dating.

I’ve never really had a definitive type of my own, though I’ve tried really hard to find it.

However, I’ve discovered a pattern as I’ve thought it through this past year and a half.

The more I travel and learn about other cultures, the more diverse my likes become, not just in things but in people and in partners, too.

The only commonality, it seems, is that they are all human and they all have great teeth… otherwise, the differences abound. 🙂

So, I guess a lot more of our taste in partners than I’d ever expected really does have to do with nurture, and not just nature.

Post-a-day 2018

Rules of attraction?

I just the other day had a conversation with a friend about physical attraction, specifically that I felt it was important to have physical attraction in a dating+ relationship to a certain degree, at least as an initial tug for interest in a person, whereas she felt it was not a necessity, but something more of a bonus, because a person could be attractive by other means, and therefore didn’t need any original physical attraction present.

The whole purpose was to get me to go dance with a guy she thought was cute, but whom I didn’t find cute, but we really got into discussion on it, finding that we agreed on all other aspects but the necessity of at least a spark of initial physical attraction.

And now, mere days later, I cross a situation quite similar to what we were discussing: A guy I did not initially find physically attractive, but whom – after seeing the person within him and how he acted – I now find attractive.

Granted, he’s only a character in a film, but it really has me thinking…

I felt as though there was actually something that sparked my interest the first time I saw him, though I would not have said that he was specifically handsome or my type or anything… just that I was intrigued…, and was that enough of what I had meant about initial physical attraction to have it turn into something more?

Or would I have felt the same way, even if I hadn’t had that initial little spark of interested physical attraction?

Just has me wondering…

Post-a-day 2018

What’s my type??

People always seem to ask me my type.  Possibly, this is more of a recent thing, as it is one of the top questions Japanese high school students ask, and I don’t really remember having considered the question’s answer more than once or twice before this past year.  Nonetheless, it has been on my mind for quite some time now.

The deal is that I have never really known a type for my own interests.  I find attractive to be attractive.  Period.  However, I have been recently distinguishing even further the difference between being attracted to someone and that of wanting to be with someone.  On this distinguishing inquiry, I have at last found one definite common factor between men when I instantly find attractive, and with whom I always want to develop a relationship of some sort (even just a friendship), and often actively pursue.  That factor?  Being tall.  It’s not that I don’t find men I average height to be attractive – I definitely do find them quite attractive on a regular basis.  However, I tend to have a quite strong desire at least to be around handsome men who are also tall.  I have found shorts men to be handsomer than taller men, and yet the taller attractive guy always holds my attention much better.
Just something I discovered/noticed this weekend.
Post-a-day 2017

Trombones

I think I could date a trombone player.  Listening to a performance today, I was almost in love and lust already.  I had never heard such a beautiful sound come from a trombone (at least, not one right in front of me).  Uh, gosh… fantastic was that experience.  I never thought a trombone player would be my style.  However, if he plays with the kind of sound (tone quality) I heard today, then it’s a definite mark in his favor.

I mean, I actually almost want to date a trombone player now.  And I’m a trumpet player.  It was that amazing.

 

Post-a-day 2017