Have you ever been attracted to the space of someone, yet found absolutely zero physical attraction to the person, and also no real attraction to all too many details of the person and his/her life?
It is one where you feel that, if you were to close your eyes, you could be content, even delighted, being with this person…
Because, just listening to his/her voice, you feel somehow entirely at ease and filled with… well, something satisfying, comforting, and just a tad exciting…
But, you know that, as soon as you open your eyes, that feeling will be gone…
And so, you enjoy the idea with a secret smile, and just move on in life, without the person as your partner…
Do you know that one?
Yeah… it’s a weird one, I dare say…, but I have definitely been there.
People always talk about their type, like in dating.
I’ve never really had a definitive type of my own, though I’ve tried really hard to find it.
However, I’ve discovered a pattern as I’ve thought it through this past year and a half.
The more I travel and learn about other cultures, the more diverse my likes become, not just in things but in people and in partners, too.
The only commonality, it seems, is that they are all human and they all have great teeth… otherwise, the differences abound. 🙂
So, I guess a lot more of our taste in partners than I’d ever expected really does have to do with nurture, and not just nature.
I just the other day had a conversation with a friend about physical attraction, specifically that I felt it was important to have physical attraction in a dating+ relationship to a certain degree, at least as an initial tug for interest in a person, whereas she felt it was not a necessity, but something more of a bonus, because a person could be attractive by other means, and therefore didn’t need any original physical attraction present.
The whole purpose was to get me to go dance with a guy she thought was cute, but whom I didn’t find cute, but we really got into discussion on it, finding that we agreed on all other aspects but the necessity of at least a spark of initial physical attraction.
And now, mere days later, I cross a situation quite similar to what we were discussing: A guy I did not initially find physically attractive, but whom – after seeing the person within him and how he acted – I now find attractive.
Granted, he’s only a character in a film, but it really has me thinking…
I felt as though there was actually something that sparked my interest the first time I saw him, though I would not have said that he was specifically handsome or my type or anything… just that I was intrigued…, and was that enough of what I had meant about initial physical attraction to have it turn into something more?
Or would I have felt the same way, even if I hadn’t had that initial little spark of interested physical attraction?
Just has me wondering…
People always seem to ask me my type. Possibly, this is more of a recent thing, as it is one of the top questions Japanese high school students ask, and I don’t really remember having considered the question’s answer more than once or twice before this past year. Nonetheless, it has been on my mind for quite some time now.
The deal is that I have never really known a type for my own interests. I find attractive to be attractive. Period. However, I have been recently distinguishing even further the difference between being attracted to someone and that of wanting to be with someone. On this distinguishing inquiry, I have at last found one definite common factor between men when I instantly find attractive, and with whom I always want to develop a relationship of some sort (even just a friendship), and often actively pursue. That factor? Being tall. It’s not that I don’t find men I average height to be attractive – I definitely do find them quite attractive on a regular basis. However, I tend to have a quite strong desire at least to be around handsome men who are also tall. I have found shorts men to be handsomer than taller men, and yet the taller attractive guy always holds my attention much better.
Just something I discovered/noticed this weekend.
I think I could date a trombone player. Listening to a performance today, I was almost in love and lust already. I had never heard such a beautiful sound come from a trombone (at least, not one right in front of me). Uh, gosh… fantastic was that experience. I never thought a trombone player would be my style. However, if he plays with the kind of sound (tone quality) I heard today, then it’s a definite mark in his favor.
I mean, I actually almost want to date a trombone player now. And I’m a trumpet player. It was that amazing.