I ate reasonably today. Though, I definitely likely should have eaten more. I’m going to bed feeling slightly ill, and I’m hoping I’ll have a good appetite in the morning, and eat some good eggs. I need to make sure I have snack bars for lunch, though, because school has been doing only breaded stuff for Fridays during Lent, and that won’t do for me right now, especially not fried fish (I can’t stand it).
I wish my husband were home right now. He has a meeting. But I miss him.
Anyway, I’m going to sleep now. Goodnight.
Thank you, God. Be with us always, please, and take over wherever you see fit, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
The system is flawed. How are we supposed to be healthy if we can’t eat healthy foods – or just about any foods at all – and drink heathy drinks, including water, without getting totally ill? Who made this plan? Why? How do we do it??
The body does this consistently with food poisoning, sure. It needs to clear out everything and start over. But anything more than a few days… that’s just absurd.
Dear God, help me to eat and drink well, that I be healthy and be my best self with and through you and with and through your aid. Please, keep my husband safe and well, same for me. In your name, I pray. Amen.
I’m tired. And I want to be held. And I’m tired of going to bed alone. And I’m tired of not exercising enough.
I did actually get in some exercise both yesterday and today, though both were only partial exercise. However, they were more than I did the previous two weeks, which was an improvement, and I am grateful for that. I hope to do some tomorrow, too. Even that little bit today helped and that chunk yesterday helped, too.
I also wakes the dog today. It was the longer route, and we went kind of fast. I kept up my pace, which meant I was basically dragging the dog along by the final third of it. But it was good for us both. I got depressive today, which felt all the more terrible than I had been feeling lately for lack of sleep and for rodeo stress – aka people being stupid very unnecessarily. So, going outside into the sunlight and also doing a brisk walk we’re both helpful. And the dog’s being with me helped me feel like I had company. (I had thought my husband and I could spend the day together today, but hadn’t known until last night that he had his onboarding stuff at the office all morning today, then flying all afternoon. So, sad for the day’s plans, but good for his work, for his mental health, and for our income.)
But we got to have a Costco pizza pie for dinner (and a hot dog for me) to celebrate Pi Day together. We even shared one of the coffee freeze things that are delicious, which is rare for us – my husband doesn’t exactly share single servings of things, so that was big. We had a great little date night out at Costco, and we also got my grandma’s coffee things and fresh organic blueberries for myself (I’d say we got them for ourselves, but he never ate his half of the last batch, and they went bad, so I’m not bothering to share this time. Not in a mean way. Just in a practical sense. If he wants some, he can take them, but I’m not leaving any for him intentionally this time.).
I’ve been really wanting fresh fruits and veggies lately. I want all those awesome smoothies and juices from these couple super healthy smoothie places. But that’s super unaffordable. Why the stuff without all the added junk is so much more expensive is still baffling to me. It tastes better and is better for us, plus is easier to make, but costs loads more. I just wish I were better at making smoothies. I somehow mess them up 60-70% of the time and make something terrible, though healthy. That 40% where it is tolerable or delicious is giving me ever-decreasing confidence in trying to make them at all anymore.
But I really want a good smoothie. I can make this one morning one really well still. But making ones that don’t have too much sweet (to where they don’t give me gas) has been difficult for me the past few years. That’s why I stopped making them altogether, really. I need veggie smoothies, but don’t have any good recipes. I always just made it up. (Also why they often sucked.)
Anyway, I’m worn out. Off to snuggle with my stuffed animals and sleep half-upright, because that pizza was so bad for my digestion, I can’t even lie down flat without risk of things going back upward right now (hours later). Ugh…
Anyway, goodnight, folks! Sleep well, sweet dreams, and May God bless you beautifully and unexpectedly this week.
God, be with us all newly this week, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Supposedly, if I manage my protein intake better, that could have a huge impact on my exhaustion recently. Ever since rodeo stuff started, I’ve been barely making it, what with getting to bed so late at night. I’m able to sleep in sometimes, but the sleep is never as good, nor does it truly give much more time sleeping, since my body tries to wake me up, anyway. But having a bit more protein and having it spread throughout the day could make a very positive difference. So, let’s give it a go. I’ve been good with protein for breakfast and lunch, but then regularly don’t end up with a dinner at all, and suddenly throw together whatever random things I can find to avoid the midnight headache from not eating enough.
Looking forward to be better rested, and soon.
God, help me to be well, please, and help me to take care of myself well. Same for my husband, please. Thank you for him and for this life. In your name, I pray in gratitude. Amen.
Tonight we had a dinnertime gathering at a neighbor’s house. I was telling my mom about it yesterday, and said that we had “a dinner party thing with some neighbors” and that I was going “to pick up Costco pizza” for it. She laughed, and explained that the ideas ‘dinner party’ and ‘Costco pizza’ don’t exactly go together.
I agreed entirely, and clarified what I’d meant and how my use of “thing” was intentional, as a dinner party is a very different event than having Costco pizza together…
And yet, I still wish we could have Costco pizza for our wedding reception food, despite the conflicting styles and expectations of the two things… 😛
In a matter of two and a half weeks, I suddenly have fat hanging on my belly… I can grab it and everything…
And it is utterly crushing…
God, help me to release this fat, to exercise appropriately and effectively, and to eat safely, now especially, and always, too, please. Please. Please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
“It has Brie, salami, and raspberry compote, and is on the jalapeño cheese bread from Goode Co. Is it still considered a grilled cheese?”
“I think so. Sounds and looks delicious.”
Over a year and a half ago, I was gifted the leftover entire loaf of jalapeño cheese bread from a Goode Co. Barbecue catered lunch. I brought it to my man’s house and told him I wanted to make us grilled cheese sandwiches with it – I just needed to go get the cheese first. He is excited about the idea, and keeps the loaf for me to come back and cook up the sandwiches in the next day or so.
The next day, however, while taking with him on the phone, I hear him wondering aloud about what something is… Why is there a twisty tie on the floor? What is this plas… And then it hits him. I ask him what it is, and he tells me with gravity that it was the twisty tie from the loaf of bread.
It takes a tick for it all to set in. At first, I thought he had been eating the bread and left open the bag. But then I remember his commenting on plastic on the floor…
Put simply, the dog was able to jump up and get the loaf off the counter, because my man put it too close to the edge. The dog is not very big, so the bread had to be very much right on the edge of the countertop. Massive fail on my man’s part.
The whole loaf had disappeared, along with most of the plastic, it seemed. My one consolation in the upset was that at least the dog would throw up or have horrible poops after all those jalapeños. She had neither, of course. And neither my man nor I forgot about that incident.
Fast forward to last weekend. A friend of his is having a gathering to celebrate the baptism of the children. The food at the small gathering is from Goode Company. I see the bread and instantly recall our denied grilled cheeses. I laugh about it and share the story. I am not mad about the whole thing at all. I find it comical. But I have always been a bit let down that we never got to have those grilled cheeses. So, I’m not sad or mens or anything when I tell the story, just to be clear. It is no sop story.
Anyway, the next day, the friend reaches out to my man to let him know that they have extra jalapeño cheese bread, and would we like to have it? Of course, we accept graciously and gratefully. He delivers the bread the next day to my man, and only asks that he get to see some photos of these grilled cheese.
It took me until today, a week later, to be able to spend the time and make them, naturally. So, we had stuck the partial loaf in the fridge and the full loaf in the freezer. Didn’t want to risk losing them to the Houston humidity. Even still, we did lose one half-piece cuff of the fridge pieces.
Nonetheless, I made an open-faced slice and a whole grilled cheese sandwich (only three pieces of bread were available from the fridge, you see) today. I tried for the first time coating them in mayonnaise first – will do that every time in the future now, because it is amazing – and then cooking them in Kerrygold butter. I used Brie that I sliced up into thin pieces (to be like shredded cheese, for melting consistency and ease), salami that I had sautéed in the butter already, and then raspberry compote that I had, all on the jalapeño cheese Texas toast style bread.
I kid you not, this grilled cheese sandwich was amazing. We both used utensils to eat them, and it was ridiculously satisfying to do so. They were just really, really good grilled cheese.
Of course, I reminded my man to get a photo of the two before attacking them, since his friend had specifically asked for photos. He took them – the most underwhelming food photos he’s ever taken, likely because he was so ready to eat what smelled and looked so good – but he complained that the sandwiches were totally not grilled cheeses. They had too many other things in them, he said, for them to be grilled cheese. I declared that as immediately false, and said the majority of the filling was still cheese, so they were grilled cheese sandwiches. (Obviously, we are ignoring the fact that grilled cheese sandwiches are typically truly sautéed cheese sandwiches, but whatever.)
He sent the photos to his friend with the message, “Hannah’s ‘grilled cheese’”. He then added the aforementioned message and inquiry, and the friend replied that it still was a grilled cheese. My man immediately shouted aloud, “Wring answer!” And we had a very good laugh about it while we finished off our awesome grilled cheese sandwiches.
Thank you, God. Amen.
P.S. I discovered today that Brie is a proper noun by law in France, as it is cheese named after the region named Brie. And now you know, too. 😛
I ate quite normally today. Eggs and bacon to start, and a bit of beef jerky and dried fruits, yogurt, some other stuff, and pho. I keep wondering how I am possibly storing all this stuff inside me. It is uncomfortable, but only like a single tough meal kind of uncomfortable, not like the previous few days uncomfortable. Oh, but goodness… I need to release my bowels… my brain can barely handle this right now, and staying away from thoughts of germs and problems resulting from constipation…
Dear God, please, heal my body. Help me to go poo on the toilet in the morning, and to release all this buildup inside of me. Heal my body and mind, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Well, I ate some solid food today… but not a ton. And, unfortunately, I was very much craving steak for dinner time…, so I had some. My body was very clear with me as to when it was time to stop, a point much sooner in the meal than is usual when it comes to home-grilled steaks.
However, my belly had been filled with gas for hours beforehand, giving me miserable pains that occasionally incapacitated me or made me yell out involuntarily, but that I could not seem to relieve. Hours and hours later – meaning around midnight, enough gas had released that I no longer was carefully clutching myself and avoiding moving too much or in the wrong way.
At last, I think I can possibly go to sleep in my bed and actually sleep. I hope, anyway… and, hopefully, a solid – literally – BM will release after I awaken in the morning.
Fingers crossed!
God, heal us all, please, and help us to rejuvenate fully always with sleep. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Still on the indigestion train here. Or, perhaps, just again, one day later. Though, if I didn’t have a normal BM, I imagine I never actually got off that train in the first place.
So, yeah…
Struggled to sleep starting around 1:30 in the morning. Got up to my alarm and rushed to the bathroom this morning. Repeated twice more before leaving. Repeated twice at the office where I was presenting… and something similar many times later on at home. I’ve basically been unable to get almost anything done today, thanks to my belly hurting off and on and needing to go to the bathroom so intensely at varied intervals (sometimes twice again before I even leave the bathroom)…
God, heal me now, please. Let me sleep well tonight and awaken healed. Please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
hannah ananas 