Tag: stress

Finito

Well, we made it through the last day of the interviews. Yippee! It was tough in my eyes and shoulders, sitting at the computer like that all day for four days, but it was fulfilling and invigorating to support such a great cause.

Thank you, God, for such a great opportunity and blessing! Amen!

Also, I have the chance of a new friend. She was helping with the interviews like I was, as we had fun working together this past week. I think we have a chance of becoming friends. 🙂

Tomorrow, I want to go to the gym, as I haven’t gone during the interview days. Then I have laser hair removal touch-ups in the late afternoon. (I kid you not, getting a clean and straight line on the bikini line shave is, somehow, impossible for me… I need electrical tape or something for that, because I am terrible at it!) Anyway…

With that, I am utterly exhausted, and must go finish getting ready for bed, so I can sleep, at long last.

Thank you for this day, God, including the wonderful time at the rodeo meeting this evening! Amen!

Post-a-day 2023

Moving forward

I keep feeling like it is time to move forward from this part-time job I have. Yet, every time I do the trainings and read its… actually that isn’t true. I was going to say that every time I do these trainings for the company and the job, I find myself really liking this company. Well, it is half true. I do find myself really liking that the company does certain things in certain ways. I thin they are a great company, to a degree. However, every time I do these trainings and read this company info we have to read, I also am shown more and more divide between my beliefs, morals, and goals with life and those of this company. Frankly, it is stressful, infuriating, and heartbreaking how isolated and wronged I feel simply for existing as I was born and as I aim to be my best self in this life… because of this company and the claims and stands and changes it makes. It aims to diversify and be inclusive, yet, in the process, excludes the majority… and doesn’t even seem to notice or to care. And that hurts, and not just for me.

So, perhaps it really is time to move onward from this job and company. It was exactly what I needed when I started working there. Now, I think it is time for what’s next in my life. It is time for something more, and something fulfilling, in the many ways this job no longer is.

God, grant me the grace and determination to do well with this move forward. Help me to have kindness and clarity as I communicate it effectively to those who need to know. Help me to be my best self and to pursue and fulfill your will. Thank you for this life and these beautiful opportunities, as well as your always-perfect timing. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Phew

It was a 45-minute cap, not a 40-minute cap. And I finished in 37:15. So, I made it for both timeframes! Yay! I may have gotten second place, but otherwise third (we started staggered, with me at the end by a few minutes). The JROTC kid finished in under 34 minutes, which I had fully expected – he does this kind of training specifically all the time, and he really pushes himself. I pace myself, while still pushing, but I have no interest in making myself sick or anything.

Anyway, rest number two has been completed and passed for me. Yippee. Only one kid didn’t pass, and he missed the time cap by fifteen seconds… we’ll see what happens there. I personally hope he retakes the test so that he can actually pass the test. (When I missed a run time by a few seconds last belt level testing [because it was suddenly a longer run with shorter timing than it had ever been, and only because our instructor wanted us to be preparing further for the black belt testing, not because it was actually required], I redid the run the following day and got it done within the time cap.] We shall see what happens.

Afterward, I went to the grand opening of the second Black Rifle Coffee Company location in Houston. It was great. It was packed with veterans and active military and first-responders, and the air was so fun, I felt at ease, though I knew no one.

They did the national anthem and the raising of the flag, cut the ribbon – with a knife!! – and made a few brief announcements about the awesome work they do to support veterans, while we all stood in the cold rain. It was a silly ten minutes-ish, but great. And then we got to return inside, where it was cozy and smelled great.

I had a decaf hot latte, which was great after being soaked in the cold rain of the karate run beforehand, and a hot bagel breakfast sandwich. I also bought us two majorly discounted t-shirts to match (or not!), bought him a nitro cold brew on tap right before I left to rush home and give it to him fresh, and I won a $50 gift card! Also, my three receipts all come with a survey and free hot coffee for the future. Oh, and I got a bunch of stickers. (We love stickers here.)

So, basically, it was an awesome time.

After I got home, I took a hot, hot shower, napped for a while, and then went with my man to his brother’s birthday celebration, which I quite enjoyed. (By the way, Ninfa’s has great fajitas and queso and green salsa.) Then we rushed home to do Duolingo before midnight, as 1)we never expected to be out that late, so it hadn’t seemed to matter much that 2)I had forgotten my phone at home. We’d had plenty of time to turn around for it right after we’d left, but I didn’t feel I needed the phone, anyway, so we left it be.

I tried logging in on my man’s phone’s web browser to do Duolingo, but it is set up with my Google account. So, I had to log in to my Google account first… But Google does the two-factor authentication nonsense now, so I couldn’t access any account to be able to log in and do Duolingo not on my own computer or phone, because I didn’t have my phone to get the special code.

It was extremely upsetting and frustrating. But we made it home just in time for me to sprint inside and do a lesson before midnight struck. (Come to find out, I had, apparently, already done a lesson earlier today, so my streak was already maintained for the day… ugh.)

Anyway…

At that, I’m off to sleep. Goodnight!

Post-a-day 2023

Test day

Tomorrow is test day. We have a 45-minute cap to do a three-mile run interspersed with 100 each of push-ups, sit-ups, double kicks, and air squats. Afterwards, I have to take the written test (which is actually just a long multiple-choice test, but that I mostly could do without the choice options, anyway).

Then, tests two and three of eight will be completed toward achieving my black belt in American Karate.

God, give me the strength, balance, speed, and endurance for this tomorrow morning, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Let’s do this.

Post-a-day 2023

Day one: check

Day one of these interviews is completed. I went to the opera tonight with my mom – Mozart, “Too many notes.” It was awesome, as usual. Though, it went until late. I didn’t get home until after eleven, at which point I then had more applications to read for tomorrow.

But I got them done, and am finally getting ready for bed. It’s only 2:10am. Not terrible. 9am start tomorrow for the interviews, finishing by about five pm. Then I have to study and learn some information fast for karate, as our written test, which was scheduled for a week and a half from now, is suddenly Saturday morning with our physical fitness test. We were told that this morning. So, not exciting there. Lots of info to commit to memory asap. (On that note, I probably would do myself well to read it before bed tonight, so I can sleep with it an extra night.)

Wish me luck!

God, give me the strength and endurance and demeanor to do well and to do you will, both with thee winter views and with my own testing this weekend. Thank you for this life and your love. Keep my man safe, please, and bless our relationship. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Why?

Why can I not get myself to bed at a reasonable hour?? Why??(!!!!???) Now that I’m going to the noon workouts, I have been pushing my bedtime back further and further, to the point that I’m now waking up just in time for the gym all over again… just like back when I was almost always a nooner, since I couldn’t fathom getting up early enough for the morning classes at 5:30 and 6:30am.

I’m not fully ready to be at the 5:15am workout class again yet – still getting adjusted to working out again, and being okay with having to use the really light weights for most things (which is way less than I used to be able to do, before my body got all twisted up last summer). 5:15 class is too intense for what I need right now. Right now, I need a supportive space that accepts me where I am, as I am, and that acknowledges my efforts. Right now, I need to be at the noon class. Because I also needed to be able to let go of the stress of wanting and needing to be in bed before 9pm weeknights. So, noon is really what I need right now. But I also need to start getting myself to bed sooner than three in the morning… There’s that, too.

God, thank you for this life. Help me to fulfill your will and express your love through it. Help me to do well in my current educational and career endeavours. Bless the relationship with me and my man, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Thermostat lies

How on Earth does that thermostat think it is 77 degrees in this house?(!!!!!!!!!) I am freezing!(!!!) Sure, it’s 49° outside right now – no idea where that cold came from, but I am delighted about it – but that doesn’t mean that it is 77° in here, and it certainly doesn’t feel anything even relatively close to 77 in here… no way.

Give it five minutes, and the air will come on, suddenly showing that it’s actually only 66, which is why it is suddenly starting to warm… yeah, yeah, thermostat. You keep on lying to yourself and to us all, but we know what you do. We know you fake it sometimes until you feel like actually getting to work.

Post-a-day 2023

Breaking point

What do you do when you reach a breaking point on something that, once, you loved? When it hits of point of feeling like it is overwhelming you, taking over your life and all freedom you once had to participate in other things in life? How does one recover from hitting this point?

How does one step away without hurting others? Is that even possible? I think not. But, what comes into the balance is whether avoiding that hurt of others is worth the increasing hurt that one is experiencing for oneself. Eventually, the minor hurt feelings of others needs to give, so as not to create absolute misery and resentment for oneself, and, eventually, necessary abandon of the whole thing, possibly forever.

Basically, step away before hitting burnout.

But stepping away isn’t really all that easy now, is it?

Post-a-day 2023

Feeling better

I’ve been feeling loads better today. My man has improved further, too. We both slept in late, then I joined my man for the end of walking the dog, then I sat on the sofa for hours, my belly feeling all shook up… :/

This afternoon, I managed a bit of food, noticing I was very hungry but wanting to be careful not to overdo it. I learned quickly that a little was enough for now. Boy, do I dislike stomach sicknesses…

I look forward to wanting food again, instead of feeling slightly revolted by the idea of actually putting any of it into my mouth… ::big sigh

Post-a-day 2023

Ugh

Well, guess who likely didn’t have food or water poisoning… my man.

Because guess who struggled to sleep all night, then rushed to the bathroom to puke up her guts twice… I did. And the diarrhea hit, too, of course. My body has been aching all day long, my head is aching from dehydration – because keeping down even water was hard – and my belly isn’t e timely calm yet, though I ate nothing until two crackers and a couple bites of banana this evening, spread out over hours.

This sucks.

My poor man is struggling to take care of me, as he is only just getting better himself. God, help us, please. Heal us. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023