“And what did she say?”
“She didn’t.”
“She didn’t say anything at all? She just packed up and disappeared?”
“Well, she packed bags and said she was going to visit her dad.”
“And she just never came back…”
“Yeah…”
“That makes it less surprising that you always have the experience of not being good enough, not being enough…”
Post-a-day 2022
I have never once had a desire to participate in drugs. Never.
Yet, that seems to be more of the odd man out than the average…
I had no idea, growing up, that so many people had such great interest in drugs, even in just minor ones, like marijuana. But it has never had appeal for me. In fact, most drug use has always seemed sad to me, tied indefinitely with the idea of running away from or avoiding life on some level. But avoidance never truly helps in life, not in the long run, and drugs seem to prove the same.
Post-a-day 2022
When the fun things aren’t fun anymore, it really could be, quite simply, that we need rest and restoration. Perhaps we are not borderline tears because the world is miserable, but because our bodies and minds are struggling to stay awake, to continue without the appropriate rest and sleep. Perhaps, when the answer to the question of, “What’s wrong?” is something like, “I don’t know,” the answer is truly that we need to go to bed and sleep for a good while… just a thought…
Post-a-day 2022
And what if we went into everything, prepared to be amazed by it, prepared for it to surprise us in a wonderful way??
Everything…
Post-a-day 2022
I washed my hair tonight, though very gently. Nonetheless, the scab from the removed mole bled a bit. I think a touch got on the white towel, but didn’t go back to clean it. It was hardly noticeable when I was actively looking for it in the first place. I touched a piece of toilet paper to it, though, then, and I was clearly giving off some spotting of blood. However, it hasn’t really hurt at all today, except when I accidentally forgot about it and scratched my neck or something. Nonetheless, it’s okay. We’re working through it!
Post-a-day 2022
More like freeze and clamp and slice, but whatever. I pictured it much like dog nail clippers, to be sure. Even though the spot was numbed – something like a mole that I’ve had most of my life on the base of my skull at my hair line – I could still tell the moment she had clamped and sliced it off… there was just something about the movements and sensations around the area that made it clear for me. And now, it has completed its time with me…
It definitely freaked me out, having that mole thing removed so quickly and without almost any preparation or expectation of its going to happen, but I think it was appropriate. This way, once the spot heals fully, I can brush and comb the back of my hair and not have to be extra careful of that bump. (I genuinely nailed it with a comb far too many times, actually making it leak tissue fluid or blood multiple times in my life. I actually stopped using combs almost entirely because of it. Perhaps I shall begin combing my hair again soon…) I think it will be good.
Thank you, my man, and thank you, God, for this blessing of an opportunity today. And thank you for such a positive and comfortable experience with the skin doctor, and for her clear love and passion for her work and the true and full well-being of the people she sees. In your name in gratitude, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2022
P.S. God, please, help me sleep well tonight. I’m a bit nervous due to this healing, tender spot I now have on the back of my neck and head. Thank you. Amen!
“Thank you for praying with us today, and let peace be with you,” he closes out the rosary. And I wonder at this every time. Tonight, however, I think I have an answer.
You see, we always say either, “Peace be with you,” or “May peace be with you,” with both being intended as a blessing from one to another. However, Mark Wahlberg doesn’t say it that way. He says, “let”…
Let peace be with you…
Why let? Because we are the ones who determine if we have peace. In the harshest of circumstances, people find peace. In the most idyllic of circumstances, people lack it. Why? Because we determined, each and every one of us, for ourselves whether we are at peace, have peace, or not.
So, it’s up to me to allow peace to be with me… That exactly. We are surrounded by a world filled with peace, wanting to grant us peace. Yet, how often do we block it? How often do we push away from that offering of peace? How often do we decide to stay stuff where we are in our miseries?
Peace is knocking from every direction. Dare we to answer the door and to let peace come be with us??
I dare.
Post-a-day 2022
Every time I get a massage, I feel ill afterward. And I mean truly ill, like I need to have some chicken soup and down some water and sleep for 24-48 hours. Not every time is quite so bad, but it seems to be consistent with how long the massage is, as to how intense the illness feeling becomes.
My mom, who is a massage therapist, says it is completely normal, though. She says that so much is being activated and moved around in the body, it is having to let go of a bunch of germs and other junk that had been hanging out in it. So, it’s completely normal to feel sick, because all those nodes and everything are, in a way, being beaten up for a while, and the body needs some recovery time, some rest, and a lot of water.
So, I’ll have me some more water now and get to bed, because I have school in the morning!
Post-a-day 2022
We are preparing to leave, saying our goodbyes to those we know. As I am turning to the last two people, someone we despise enters. Without hesitation, I know that I do not want to talk with the person, I bid farewell to my last two friends there, I tell my man that I am ready, and I walk away.
It isn’t a matter of how it looked like we were running from this person – we weren’t. What matters is that we already were leaving, and it was a perfect sign to trust my instincts. I was ready to leave and had given a little extra time being kind to a couple people. It was lovely being able to do that for them, but it was beyond when I had wanted to be staying. And firmly speaking up and sharing that I needed to head home made all the difference I needed. However, that slight delay gave me a chance to see that it truly was perfect that we were leaving, even though it was “early”. Thank you, God.
And when I say someone we despise, please note that this person has behaved terribly for years and years, including being abusive to me (though likely with no idea that it even was abuse), though plays off a façade of a kind and nice southern person who is everybody’s friend. Not someone who has chosen to be good in the world, but who has chosen to be right and righteous, and righteously better than everyone else by far.
Anyway, true the gut, trust in God, and it all works out well.
Post-a-day 2022
I don’t say the word “blog,” despite the fact that it is recognized as one. I reference the full word, “weblog,” because that’s what it is, a log on the web. Captain’s log, October seventh… I always think that, you know, when I cross the word “log”.
Anyway, that’s beside the point. Back on track here.
Another word I use only in its full – though almost entirely unknown to be so by the majority of the population, as also is the case with weblog – form is the word “perquisite”. I do not use “perk” or, even, “perque”. I use the full form, always.
For both of these and more, I am a nerd. 😉
Post-a-day 2022
hannah ananas 