hannah.ananas

Sick at the opera

Well, I’m much improved in terms of how I physically feel, but I still have some sickness my body is having to fight, something nasal. My head and body don’t ache, and I have an appetite and quite decent energy compared to yesterday. But my throat is still sore, true to an overnight nasal drip kind of sick.

But I was well enough to attend the opera tonight, and I even made it most of the way through the opera before my body decided it was going to start needing to cough at decreasing increments of time, just about immediately. Fortunately, my mom had just given me a throat spray that was sitting in my pocket, and I was able to help suppress most of the coughs with that during the remainder of the performance. So, we enjoyed the show and didn’t seem to cause any disturbance for ourselves or anyone around us either.

Now, the question is whether I’ll be able to sleep… God, help me sleep tonight that I be healed tomorrow. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Are you kidding me? :/

I sometimes really dislike being sick. I already can’t stand how I’ve been sloppy and lazy with tidying at home, and now I have to be sick in a way that I can barely get up out of bed or off the sofa just to go to the bathroom (which I’ve had to do constantly, due to drinking water as I need). Add to it that I’m feeling all emotional about all of the aforementioned, likely due to the impending beginning of menstruation.

Ugh… sometimes, things just feel really sucky, and I really dislike that I have a desire at such times just to go to bed and avoid life and the world, and hope for better circumstances whenever next I wake.

But I kept that in mind today, and made myself watch movies all day and eat as much food as I could handle… I even worked on my coding course as much as my eyes and brain could stand it. I don’t want to go down that path of avoiding life. Been there. Done that. Don’t need to go back.

I worked hard today, and it felt like I just sucked at life, and ended up still sick.

Oh, God, heal me, please. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Toads and Frogs

Tonight, leaving my man’s nephew’s baseball game, we crossed a small movement on the ground in the dark. After a minimal and short moment of panic, I realized it was a toad. It was right next to the dog, and the dog noticed its next move. So, I declared, “It’s a toad!”

The dog, of course, having seen the toad, goes right after it with a cute little hop to follow each of the toad’s. Seeing this, I encourage the dog, knowing she won’t hurt it, but more likely just sniff it as long as it’ll let her. “Get it, E—-! Get the toad,” I say.

There is only a moment of pause as my man and I both watch the dog hop once more after the toad, and then we hear a cute, high pitched voice declare, “I can!” It sounds like an offer, and an eager one.

We look up to see a boy from the baseball team already taking off his bag and heading straight for the toad. Instantly, of course, his mother firmly tells him, “No,” and he halts in his pursuit, only slightly dejected, but accepting of his fate.

The dog loses interest, fortunately, and the two of us snicker our way back to the car, where we can crack up at the little boy’s easy declaration of, “I can!” offering to help us capture a toad. 😛

It was a good and adorable interaction, to say the least. Thanks, little kid, for such hospitality and willingness. Haha 😀

Post-a-day 2023

Completed

Well, it poured and rained for most of the day today, yet the festival was still a success. Not all the groups got to perform today, but they all did yesterday, when loads of people were at the festival, so it kind of balanced. Nowhere near as many people came today as yesterday, but there was still a surprisingly good number of people, despite the rain. When the rain started letting up somewhat in early afternoon, even more people kept showing up. So, sure, the grounds were basically flooded in spots all over the place, and most people just walked around, getting soaked, no umbrella to be seen. (That part actually really got me. Sure, the weather forecast had changed a bit from what it had said last night, but the sky was dark this morning. The sun barely even rose. There was no way one couldn’t look or step outside and not know that it would be raining a decent amount today. And, likely, it already was raining by the time anyone did step outside to head to the festival. Nonetheless, loads of people had no rain protection whatsoever. Okay, folks… haha.)

Anyway, great day and great time with my family today, and then great dinner with my dad and my man this evening. I’m already in bed about to go to sleep, and it isn’t even ten PM. Thank you, God, for all these blessings. Be with us always, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Good start

Today was a success! Yay! Sure, there were definitely some moments of awkwardness, and I also had to sit around and wait for an hour and a half, simply because certain people did not communicate a schedule change to others. However, it all worked out okay, and I even got to walk around the festival for a while with my mom. I also got to sit in a shaded VIP area for a while with my mom and just hang out and rest somewhat. Both opportunities were great and greatly appreciated.

What’s more, my man built almost the whole chicken coop today!! ** So, an extra yay!! Yay!!

Thank you, God, for a successful day for us all. Grant us peace and purpose always, and heal all of us, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

**I only just a few days ago re-learned – because I definitely knew this before – that it is a “chicken coop,” and not a “chicken coupe.” To be fair, I once read a joke, after having already heard my cousin tell it, that kind of made me mess up my spelling of the word.

Relevant joke that is meant to be said and not written: Why doesn’t a chicken coop have four doors? Because then it would be called a chicken sedan.

Though, the written joke had “coop” spelled already as “coupe,” which really messed me up. Also, I never understood the joke, because it was also worded poorly, instead saying something like, ‘Why does a chicken coupe only have two doors? Because otherwise it would be called a chicken sedan.’ I massively struggled with this version of the joke, because I only knew of chicken coops that had just one door. So, the premise alone didn’t make sense to me. Nonetheless, the idea of the joke is cute and comical. Imagining a “chicken sedan,” whatever that is, as well as a “chicken coupe,” is quite a fun game to play in the brain. Give it a go! Vroom-vroom!

Post-a-day 2023

Mañana

Tomorrow is the festival! I think my job is relatively simple and easy, but I shall find out tomorrow how it really is… fingers crossed!

P.S. Happy Cinco de Mayo!!

Post-a-day 2023

Volunteering

My volunteering is interfering with my volunteering! 😛

I already wanted to volunteer for a rodeo thing tomorrow. Then things changed in my schedule with volunteering for the festival this weekend, and what was supposed to happen today got pushed to tomorrow… in the middle of when I’m meant to be volunteering for the rodeo thing.

Gratefully, the boss-lady said I had no obligation to go tomorrow for the changed volunteering stuff – only for the Saturday and Sunday stuff did it truly matter that I be there. So, I felt it out emotionally, and I saw that I definitely feel it important to do the rodeo thing tomorrow. As for the evening volunteering for the festival tomorrow…, I am still undecided. Going to feel it out a bit tomorrow afternoon and see how I feel, but I likely will decline, not because of exhaustion, but because it would be during my only chance to attend the other important festival that is happening this weekend near us.

So, yeah… lots happening in the next three days for me! Gotta sleep now. Goodnight!

God, grant us all useful and refreshing rest at night, and help us to have the energy, drive, desire, and ability always to pursue and to fulfill your will. In your name, I pray. Amen.

P.S. May the Fourth be with you.

Post-a-day 2023

Uh-oh

Is this slight pain in my tooth a cavity?

God, forbid it, please, and heal my mouth, please.

I take such good care of my teeth and my oral health. Even the dental workers are surprised with how good of a job I do.

It could just be exposed too far down the tooth, and so it is sensitive. I do floss somewhat often…

Oh, God, please, let it just be that. Please. Heal us all. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

The Opriest of Operas

Or the oprarest, if you want to be British about it…

Tonight, we saw Tosca, which is by Puccini. It was great. As our family friend said, the tenor really did steal the show. He was spectacular. Spectacular. And, given how great the lead and the other main supporting roles both were, that’s truly saying something. They were all awesome.

However, that same family friend had informed us ahead of time that the production was great. He saw a final dress rehearsal of it the other week, you see. (He also is a musician by career, and has worked many years in classical radio, so he knows what he’s taking about with opera.) Apparently, Tosca is possibly his favorite opera and was the first he ever saw, working as an usher with his mom forever ago.H

He and my mom were messaging before the show tonight, as well as during the intermissions. He said specifically before the show started that Tosca was, ‘the most opera of operas,’ and, therefore, to expect a lot of people to die, as well as lots of drama.

As we hit the first intermission, he shared that the music ending the first act is his favorite and he has been singing it constantly since seeing the show recently. At the second intermission, the end of the second act, he said that he had started listening to a recording of it just after our show started. Ha! My man responded, “I’m listening to it, too.” (He has a lot of trouble staying fully awake at the opera, as we usually go weeknights, and, let’s admit it, it is Hard to stay awake at the opera when we’re sitting in a dark theatre, far from the stage, and we’re tired before the show even starts.) 😛

My mom sent a final message that, ‘Only two people have died so far, so I’m guessing the third act will be busy!’ He laughed at it, gave a confirmation of its accuracy, and then added, “‘Only two people have died so far,’ is the most opriest thing one could say”. We cracked up so hard right as the lights were going down. And he wasn’t wrong, not on any account. (This includes his ironic statement of its being a light little, family-friendly show with good moral values. It very much is not, and comically so at certain points.)

In the end, yes, just like almost all the other operas, death reigns, hope tries really hard with a really pretty and powerful aria, all the stupid people get what they had coming all along, everything is ridiculously dramatic, and the music is practically divine in how spectacular it is. Indeed, Tosca is very much the most opera of operas. Though, I now will hold this classification in mind for all operas I see, and determine if I can find an opera more opera than Tosca!

Post-a-day 2023

Nice People

Has anyone noticed that so many nice people tend to be the people at whom so much of our culture currently seems to be mad? In my experience, the youth who hold the doors open and say, “Yes, Ma’am,” “No, Ma’am,” “Yes, Sir,” “No, Sir,” are the stereotypically declared ‘dumb country rednecks’. And their ‘dumb country redneck’ parents tend to behave the same. They are actually usually very kind and respectful. And they seem to be some of the only ones these days.

It is starting to make me wonder if most of the stereotyping-based hate and noise around them all might truly just be tied to a very small percentage of the population’s actual actions, and be drastically blown out of proportion, quite possibly by people who aren’t willing to step up for themselves and let go of being victimized and making themselves victims to life.

I was a victim of abuse, but I didn’t victimize myself for it. I didn’t make it such that life happened to me and ‘poor me,’ I need everyone to stand up for me now and hate that man and get him back. I didn’t make a big fuss or demand that the horrid actions be addressed by reparations. He owes me nothing. I repeat: He owes me nothing.

Sure, I have trouble forgiving and letting go at times, and I have very angry and aching feelings at times. But that doesn’t mean I bash the man or bring it to the media. How does that make the world better? How does that help me to heal and let go and move forward in life, rather than fixate on the past abuse and keep bring it up again and again? I can’t find a single way it doesn’t harm my progress instead of help it.

Instead, I pray for healing and ask for God’s help. I share what I need to share with those who want to help me to heal. I pray to release my ill will toward that man. I help create safe spaces for others where I had once found none. I help others to be heard and to heal. I help to make a positive difference in the lives of others. I use my terrible experience as a means of making the world better. In short, I love.

And, when I want to hate instead, I remember that his horrible actions come from his own life of hurt, whether he is aware of it or not. And I pray not to hold that against him. I don’t want him in my life, but I don’t have to make his life end – figuratively or literally – in order for me to live mine. The two are separate ideas entirely, independent of one another. They truly are…

I just can’t help but wonder if, instead of throwing out so much anger and hate to people – especially to people we do not know directly but whom we stereotype based on specific interactions with disproportionately select individuals among the group – if we looked for how to solve problems with love, the world would be so much brighter and genuinely better. Like what I said about my fear of guns – if we got to know one another better, it might be a completely different story altogether. The biggest part of the fear – and, thereby, anger and outrage – is the unknown behind that face or culture or lifestyle or way of thinking or way of dressing or way of eating… If we used love as our foundation, perhaps we might find a lot more common ground than anyone ever thought possible… And perhaps the problems would be fewer and fewer and be handled much more easily in the moment through love and communication…

Just some thoughts on my mind tonight.

Post-a-day 2023