It was magic and magical…
Literally the best bodily experience of my life.
Ecstasy flows through my spine.
Parts move easily in ways that have grown foreign from inability.
Everything is so beautifully aligned and energetic in my body again…
And I feel as though I could CrossFit a marathon right now.
Thank you, man who shares the magic.
Post-a-day 2018
A man commented today that I am beautiful, and that I have come more alive and clear in my eyes lately.
And he meant it.
And he wasn’t trying to get anything out of me.
He was just being honest about what he saw and experienced.
And he restated it a couple times.
And it felt really, really good.
Because I know he meant it and had no ulterior motive.
Post-a-day 2018
Sometimes, I see films that have a person as the main focus who struggles with certain situations, specifically socially. (Current society likely would call them people with autism or asberger’s, or something of that sort.) When I see these films, follow these people’s lives, I find it all too easy to fall into a similar pattern in my own life immediately after the film. I think to myself, ‘But I am not like this.’ And yet the feeling is that the behavior is rather easy for me, as though I am at home in the behavior, in the odd habits. I go back and forth between seeing how I am so comfortably ‘normal’ in the world and how I have intense emotions and ties within myself when I deal with certain OCD-related situations…, meaning I go back and forth between feeling like I am a ‘normal’, sane person and a crazy person.
And I always just end up being unconvinced of either one.
I’m a little bit of both, it seems. And I think I’m okay with that. I’m not sure that I like how it is – the OCD stuff can be utterly ridiculous even to me, and those situations are the worst, because they not only are intense feelings of needing to do something specific, but also the anger and frustration and embarrassment that I even have that feeling of need. I think I might prefer having little “quirks”, instead… kind of like how most people likely think about my OCD stuff already, if they even notice any of it. Yeah…, because currently, whenever I’m in a low rut, like tonight, after this film, if I think about the future, the feelings worsen. I struggle to imagine ever finding a partner in life who possibly could accept, let alone embrace certain things that I do, certain things that currently feel as though I cannot not do. But something in me has faith and trust, and drags me out of that rut… I will be okay. I will be wonderful. And I have no idea if this stuff will stay with me forever or not. But, if they do, then I have many a plan for how to organize my life to minimize the struggle situations.
Post-a-day 2018
Today, two of my friends, who, by the way, did not know each other for the first several years that I knew both of them, got married.
It was really neat to see that happen today after everything I’ve known and experienced with each of them separately, and then the few occasions of them together recently.
The world is happy for this, and I love it.
Post-a-day 2018
It feels weird: I’m going to a wedding tomorrow, but not to take photos…
I don’t have to be there hours and hours before the ceremony.
I just have to show up when it starts.
Seems so boring in comparison…
Post-a-day 2018
Tonight, the OCD within me has done me some good – by going that extra step with various cleaning tasks tonight, preparing for guests, I earned some “serious roommate points” from my housemate. 😛
Win-win situation for us, and it was caused by my OCD.
OCD was a good thing for once!
Post-a-day 2018
It’s kind of ironically delightful at times, when things get all twisted out of the ordinary way.
My aunt and I, both of whom dislike shopping, found ourselves out shopping together for quite a while this afternoon, during my visit that was designed for us to hang out and relax together.
And yet, we enjoyed ourselves today, despite the fact that we got home exhausted in the early evening… it was nice doing something like shopping with a co-conspirator of the non-shopping sort. 😛
Besides, when we got home so tired and so hungry as we were, I commented that I didn’t really feel like making any food, and that I really just wanted some biscuits and gravy…, and my aunt definitely agreed, so my uncle made us a super duper breakfast for dinner. 🙂
Post-a-day 2018
As we discuss the concept of drinking alcohol, he says, “[…] What else do you do in your twenties?”
The irony of the statement misses neither of us, as we simultaneously recall that neither of us spent our own twenties drinking alcohol.
😛
I mean, it isn’t that I’m necessarily opposed to the drinking of alcohol, even for myself… I just kind of don’t do it… especially if I am going to be driving, because that, to me, requires a 0.0%.
My friends never mind it, of course, because this has made me a natural and willing designated driver, ever since my first year of college. 😛
Post-a-day 2018
My mom, my oldest brother, and I had a semi-spontaneous sleepover last night, when my brother was visiting Texas for work (but about three hours away from Houston), and we decided to make a miniature event of his being drastically closer than Wisconsin.
After spending the evening together and with a couple other family members, the three of us stayed up talking for another two hours after the lights were out…
It was a really good night. 🙂
Love family.
Post-a-day 2018
If ever you feel sad, lonely, and/or unworthy, take a visit to small town Texas family.
On more levels than I could express, you will be warmed to your core, and overflowing with abundant love and kindness.
❤ Texas, ❤ Family
P.S. Because it really is okay to leave the big city from time to time.
Post-a-day 2018
hannah ananas 