This was what I determined yesterday, as someone failed in supporting me as had been promised.
It made all the difference today. School started and went well. Sure, one class was boring and slightly annoying, but it still went okay. Plus, the other class I had seems like it could be awesome. More tomorrow.
God, give me the grace, please. I love you. Amen.
Post-a-day 2022
Well, school starts tomorrow. I’m mostly ready for it, I think. Just need to pick some clothes and get there in the morning. Then I’ll have some time to go through what exactly I’ll be doing in my two classes for the day. And I likely will have time to prep everything for Friday, too, and get some done for next week, all before my classes tomorrow.
However, that whole plan of going to bed early, so I can gym and get to school and shower and all…? Well, a massive storm showed up, crazy hard winds and all – 50mph – and rain came down and the power blew out in the neighborhood not five minutes after I got home from the gym to cook dinner this evening. We have one candle. Fortunately, we have a gas stove, so I heated up the leftover food instead of cooking new stuff, and we ate quickly. Now, I’m sitting at the front door, just letting air into the house, because I was having trouble breathing after a little while of no power and lots of breathing from us three – the dog is going nuts, by the way, with all the thunder and lightning. I’m waiting for a lighting setup for the bathroom… I never thought I’d be a ‘generator sort’, but here I am, totally okay with his plan to turn on some lights and a fan. So it goes, so it goes, I guess and suppose. But actually, so it goes…
Anyway, Imma see if I can shower and start heading to bed now. It’s just after eight, now, and the power is estimated to return around 10:15pm. Hopefully, I’ll be already falling asleep by then, and hopefully we’ll have air even sooner than that! Fingers crossed!
Plus, this poor dog… she’s so scared, she can’t tell if she wants to curl up next to me, follow him around, or curl up inside that mailbox… (Note: She would not fit inside that mailbox, but she certainly keeps looking at it like she is considering finding out!)
Dear God, please, help me to rest well and fully tonight, so that I might do a great and effective job with school and everything else tomorrow. Help me to pursue and fulfill your will. In your name, I pray. Amen.
P.S. We got an update, and it is unfortunate. The number of houses near us without power went down, and our estimated restoration time for the remaining houses now shows as 11am… ugh… Okay, God. Thank you for this opportunity. I accept. Goodnight. Be blessed. Bless us, please. Amen.
Post-a-day 2022
I cried at least three times at work today, because of work. Talk about being overwhelmed, and you’re talking about me today. But I managed to let it out as it came up, and then get down to business again and again throughout the day. I spoke a couple times with the teacher for whom I am teaching the first quarter – she’s on maternity leave – and what she had to share with me helped immensely with my stress. I now know somewhat decently what specifically is expected of me regarding content and presentation for class, and I have my next steps clearly in place for tomorrow (and the future classes as a whole). There is much for me to learn regarding the subject matter – Sacred Scripture and Catholicism – and I want to learn it all. But it will take time. And I have a clear plan as to how to do that now. Phew.
I want to do a good job here, as with everything I do. That’s why I’m stressed – because I care so much. But I definitely sat under the desk and cried hard at one point near midday today. So, today was a lot in a lot of ways. I wonder if tomorrow will be quite so emotional…
Dear God, grant me the grace and perseverance to do the amazing job I know you have called me to do here. Help me to fulfill your will fully and wholeheartedly. And help me to see clearly where you want me and need me to go. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2022
When you’ve gotten behind by a few months in that digital photo album – aka social media – what do you do? Go through and upload everything, just majorly off-date? Or skip it all, and start with whatever happens next?
But, if you take the latter, would you regret it down the line, when searching for photos from the skipped significant events?
Actually, that answers it for me – I most certainly would be upset about it down the line. Post-dated, out-of-time photo posts, here we come!
Post-a-day 2022
Well, we really got some stuff started at school today. I have a computer and can log in to it, and now can log in to all the online things I need to access and use. Still some links on details with some of those, but getting into them in the first place was a big step forward today! I also was given access to a boatload of (organized) files to show me what to do for classes and all – super duper helpful. And I have keys for school and the classroom I’ll be using. Woohoo! (No joke, an HR person seemed very much against the idea of my having keys for anything… you’ll trust me to teach and spend loads of time with the kids, but not to have a key to the classroom or building? Odd to me, anyway! But it worked out in the end! I have zee keys!) Also, I had a good time with the silly human Scrabble ice breaker this morning, which was a positive surprise for me. I felt much more wanted and accepted today as a whole, as several people reached out to check in on me and to support with what hadn’t been appropriately prepared for me.
Went and looked all around – even in trash bins! – for my scrunchie from yesterday, but didn’t find it. Still hopeful, because God can make anything happen! He gave me my keys very easily simply by my going to look for the scrunchie! Trusting that all is perfect and in God’s will here. 😉
Loads to read and learn before class starts later next week. Sticking to not taking work home with me, which I suspect might be a bit difficult this time, now that I have this amazing man and all, whom I want to see and with whom I want to be almost always…but I pray for the needed support from God for this.
Lord, help me to do all that I need, so that I might be an amazing teacher to these students this semester. Help me to learn and study what I need in order to step forward powerfully and confidently into this school year, embodying all that you will in me. In your name, I pray. Amen. And thank you. Amen. Amen. Amen!
Post-a-day 2022
Time to start listing, Banana.
I do well, you see, when I write things out, when I list out all that needs to be done… by when, with whom, for what, etc… When it’s all listed out, it’s like my brain can just rest and breathe for a bit and, inevitably, determine that it is all 100% doable and not that bad in the first place. However, if I don’t do the listing, then it becomes an experience, slowly and surely, of the to-dos becoming insurmountable.
So, let’s get these hiking boots and crampons ready, lady-girl-woman, and start writing down those lists!
You can do this! Woohoo!
Post-a-day 2022
Or, well, work, I suppose. Whatever the case, tomorrow is the first day back at school for me for the school year. Yippee! And also a touch of boo-hoo. In-service can be great and can be terrible, for one thing. And summertime can be addicting with the full-on daytime free time and all.
But I think I am ready for it this year. Nervous? Yes. Scared? Yes. A touch terrified? Indeed. But ready? Also a yes.
Dear God, please guide me clearly and powerfully. In your name, I pray. Let’s do this. Amen.
Post-a-day 2022
When did the cute stop being cute?
When did the adorable
Become annoying?
The laughter that once
Filled the days and the nights,
When did it turn
To rude quips,
To snaps,
To frustrated sighs?
And when,
Oh, when
Did the shivers of delight,
Utter excite (ment)
Turn to crying at night
And wanting just to walk
Away,
So I stop causing
Such strain,
Such hassle,
Such pains?
But, really,
The question isn’t, “When?”
It is, “Why?”
And the answer
Is that I deCIDED.
I cut off all chances
Those wonderful things
Had at surviving,
Let alone thriving…
And,
While that is so sad,
So terrible to hear,
What’s wonderful about it
Is that I</> decided it all…
And so I</> can let it all go,
And choose sonething new.
I can create new life.
Post-a-day 2022
P.S. Happy birthday today to baby Grace!!
Whenever I find myself spending time with repeated thoughts and ideas and conversations in my head, especially somewhat negative ones, I must remind myself: Get Out! Now! That is all… Thank you for listening.
And, you know, it is one of the best things I ever do for myself.
I’ve spent too much time in my head lately, dwelling on some of the same conversations and ideas, leaving myself feeling small and in-the-way and a problem for others and a failure for myself. It’s quite depressing, really. No joke. I’m letting that all go tonight, though, giving it up to God, and giving myself grace and respect. I am capable, and I am worth it. Period. So, let’s keep on improving as we have been doing, pursuing the path on which God has been calling us. We can do it.
I pray your name in gratitude, God – the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. In your name, we pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2022
We had plans to go to a dance class and small social tonight, and we were excited about it. It’s just down the road, not even five minutes away, and one of my good friends was going to go with us. But, after getting home after the afternoon workout – how many times can I use “after” in a phrase??? – my man and I both realized that we really just wanted to stay home for the evening. We both have a long list of things we want to accomplish after all the activities this past weekend, plus all the stuff we already had on the lists. And I start school stuff in another week. So, the pressure is on – I want to get a foot handful of this all handled before then, so I’ve to step it up and get crackin’ big time this week.
Anyway, we stayed home tonight. And I just say that I truly believe we both got a good chunk of stuff handled this evening, and we both are glad and grateful that we chose to stay home this time, even though we had been looking forward to the dancing. Thank you, God, for the discernment.
God, give me the way, the will, and the strength to get it all done this week, please. Bless us both with your grace and power in our endeavors. In your name, we pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2022
P.S. What, it isn’t 2023 yet? We just had Christmas on Monday. It must be time for the new year now, right?!
hannah ananas 