Tag: school

Tomorrow

Tomorrow, I am letting some kids make up work during the morning break – while I have breakfast at school – and then meeting with my other class that I didn’t see in the schedule today. I likely will have lunch after that, possibly work out, then go home and not come back for a week and a half.

And that will be very good for me.

I still have to sort out and post all of their assignments for while I’m not there, but I will have an hour to do that before I have class and after the make-ups. So, that should be enough time to get it all handled. I also have the time in class, when they’ll be taking their test. I’d forgotten that that is also usable time for me. Hmm. Thanks for that reminder(!).

Anyway, I have work to do in the morning for school, and then I will be able to come home and do the work I need to do here, both for my home and for myself, all for our healing and stepping forward into the life we want to be leading going forward.

I am still stressed, but I am also somewhat excited.

Thank you, God, for this opportunity for healing and accomplishments. Help me to do them both effectively this next week and a half, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Rodeo

I love volunteering with the rodeo. But things I love can become things I dread when I don’t get enough sleep. And that is somewhat the case today. I still love the rodeo and doing our shifts, but I found myself feeling worn out by the one committee and not being interested in our shift tomorrow morning, let alone the fact that we have another on Monday. I noticed that I could hardly wait to be done with the Monday shift, so I could be done with all my shifts for the year.

I think I’m just worn out in general.

Yes, from rodeo, but only in part. Mostly from work, I think. I have to strike a balance between doing all the stuff I really want to do for my students and what I’m actually being paid to do for my students – hint-hint: I’m paid roughly half a regular teacher’s salary this year, since the previous teacher quit right before school started – as well as between the two possibilities of whether I will be offered the position for real for next year or not, which determines whether I’m doing things one way now in preparation for next year or in preparation for leaving. And it’s a lot mentally, especially on top of all the regular stress of teaching I have in the first place. And on top of those caddy and rude girls in class… that, too.

And my sleep schedule has been wrong for me. I think I need to be absurd to society and go back to an 8:30pm bedtime. Lights out, goodnight. My body wants to be up before five AM, and I need to give it sleep when it will allow itself to sleep best, so that I can be my best.

Anyway, going to bed now, totally worn out but grateful to have had a delicious steak for dinner earlier.

Thank you, God, for my husband and our home. Please, help us both to be our best selves each day and night, always growing closer to each other and you. Keep us safe, please, and thank you for our food today especially. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Sleep, again

Sure enough, I didn’t sleep well last night. First half of the night seemed fine. But the second half was filled with either coughing or an inability to find physical comfort in my comfortable bed. I went to school today exhausted.

And I was kind of on edge all day. I took a nap for close to 15 minutes between classes this morning, but had to be on and going the whole rest of the day. I had wanted to do a quick workout right after school, but I was beyond myself. I just wanted to go home and shower and sleep. And, possibly, cry, too.

I had to deal with a lot of kids being upset that they got grades they had earned, mostly due to late submissions and not following instructions. I hate having to be so harsh with them, especially when they aren’t prepared emotionally for it. One kid is clearly an A student. His partner for a project is older and more of an A/B student who understands his own weaknesses. The older student messed up and turned in something wrong. The younger student didn’t confirm with the older that all was submitted correctly. They both lost points for it. The older student made a request that would get them some points back, understanding that he had messed up and the grade was a necessary result of that. The younger student was incapable of taking responsibility for his own role in the poor grade. (We’ll ignore the fact that the thing submitted was their first draft that I had forced them to change, because they would have done terribly as a whole with it only that way. If I’d said nothing in the first place, they wouldn’t have had a better version, and they both would be sad about the grade with equal fault feelings.) He just couldn’t be with the offering of the poor grade that had already been improved from the original poor grade. And I say “poor grade,” meaning it would go from a 60% to roughly an 80% (with the requests and concessions the older student had made). 80% wasn’t good enough for the younger student… but he didn’t do any of it right in the first place, and he didn’t play his part in making sure the fully updated version got submitted properly.

Frankly, the more I think on this, the more I feel he needs to deal with the mistake he made, to take responsibility as his partner did, and to accept the generous offer not only of my telling them to fix it before I graded it but of my offering to accept the fully updated one as a late grade. I don’t want to be mean, though. I do want them both to learn – that is the true point. I also know that this will not crush the grade for either of them in the class. It’s a minor project, and we grade rolling for the semester. So, it’ll count as almost nothing by the end of the semester. (Perhaps he is mostly worried about the quarter grade and making the A list, though… hmm…)

Anyway, I told them the grade they would have received on the updated project – I had offered to average the two grades, too, but he wouldn’t accept that either – and I told them to think on it and get back to me with their request/s. Officially, my job was done – I had graded what was submitted. If they want something different from that, it is on them to make the request. That’s fair, yes?

Fingers crossed that they come up with a just solution. I want them to learn and to grow from this, not be jerks forever afterward to each other or to me.

God, help me to see clearly how best to make a positive difference in my work each day. Thank you for my job and for my husband. Please, keep my husband always safe. In your name, I pray in gratitude. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Exhausted

Happy Groundhog Day and day we almost used for our wedding date!!

Actually, I almost cried several times today. And not even over anything individually worth crying. I was just so pushed to a point that all the normally manageable hassles and annoyances and unkindnesses were just too much for me today… I could take it, but I was nearly unwilling to take it… I didn’t want to make the effort anymore.

I apologized or clarified to my students several times today that I was not trying to be mean or harsh, and that I was just stressed and exhausted and worn down, and I didn’t mean for it to come out negatively toward them. I didn’t want to have to be saying that to them, but it was the responsible thing to do. And they got it. A few of them were also very worn down from the week for their own reasons, so they could relate at least somewhat.

But, man, were my buttons pushed today… and I so was close to not caring anymore and throwing out reason for revenge. Sometimes, people just [curse-word] suck. Ugh(!!!!!!!)!

Thank you, God, for this free day tomorrow to recover and sort out storing clothes in our marital home. (And thank you for our marital home!!!!) Keep us safe, please, and show us clearly our next step in pursuing and fulfilling your will. Help us to see clearly when to make a baby, please. Or just handle that for us when it is time, please, and help us to trust you on it. Thank you for this life and our marriage. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Day two

Today was a good day. I am extremely grateful for my husband.

Thank you, God, for this man and for our relationship. Please, help him to sleep well and to learn well. Help him to pursue effectively this dream he is currently pursuing for work. Ease his worries, sharpen his mind for the tasks at hand, and, please, keep him always safe. Help me to find my path with work, too, please. Make my next step always clear. Grant us both ease in our trust in you. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Back to school

Tomorrow is the first day back at school for the Spring semester! I’m simultaneously chill and stressed. I basically have to create my entire two lessons in the morning before I have class. And I need to sit in on first period with the paternity leave sub, just to support and also to share how I sit in on the class regularly. So, that’s an hour less time I’ll have for making lessons.

God, help me to be productive and efficient tomorrow, please. Help me to be a good teacher for my students, and a good support for my colleagues. Keep us safe, please. And thank you for my man. Please, heal my grandmother, give her physical strength, and giver her renewed mental strength. In your name, I pray in gratitude and trust. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Segregation

Somehow, it never occurred to me that my parents were there for desegregation. We learned all about it in school, but they never had us ask our parents about it… We once had to ask our grandparents about some event, but I don’t recall what it even was. But why didn’t we use our own family members more with history? They, after all, did live through much of the detailed stuff that is referenced in the classrooms… and it makes things more memorable when we can tie them to something personal.

I remember, actually, doing one interview for school with my dad. Part of it, at least, was about race stuff, but it wasn’t tied as much to all the things we learn about, the events and people and such. It was about how a parent grew up relative to another race. I remember that much. It’s when I learned that the first black person my dad met was his college roommate, in college. Also that his parents didn’t particularly like (or know at all) black people, but, since black people weren’t ever around – remember how he never met one until he left home for college – my dad was exposed to much of an opinion about black people. In a way, the almost-certain racism never got much of a chance to be passed on to him. No, he didn’t get to know people of other races, but he also didn’t have any hostility toward them.

Fast forward to the next generation, and I grew up going to school in the most diverse county in the most diverse city in the country. Several of my best friends and crushes growing up were races other than white. And it never even occurred to me to care. People were just people. Kind folks were kind and mean ones were mean. Race truly never came up as a factor beyond looks.

Kind of cool, really…

Anyway, I’ve gone way off topic here. The point was that history class missed a huge learning opportunity here, and I want to remedy it as best as I can. I’ve already reached out to both my parents for some basic memory sharing, and I’m arranging really sitting and talking with them about it in the near future, too. How cool that my parents were there for so much stuff that we learned about in school… And how bizarre that that never truly occurred to me that they could share with me all about it personally, not just from a learned knowledge base. (Like how my mom was talking to me at Dealey Plaza about JFK’s assassination… but I subconsciously thought she was telling things she had learned in school – she was a great student, after all – not that she was remembering it from the live news reports…)

I have so much to discuss with my parents…and I almost feel a need to bring along a textbook!

I just might…

Post-a-day 2023

Nerd / Baseball

While I do enjoy watching a good – me sing active and well-played – baseball game, I certainly am not into it like the average person who watches professional sports is. I do not have a strong association with this group of people who are not from my town or neighborhood, often, even, country, and who are here merely to play a sport. I find nothing wrong with their doing that. But I only would have immense interest in their games if they were people either who came from the same exact background as I did, or if they were people I knew personally.

For example, when the hockey team plays well at school, I am very proud of them. I go willingly to their games. Why? Not just because they are at my school, but because I know several of the players. Same for cross country. Yet it changes every year. I once cared a lot about the football games, because my students played in them. This year, not a single one plays football, and I haven’t made it to more than about twenty minutes or so of the first game of the season. I don’t know the players this year. But I do know members of the hockey and cross country and water polo teams, and so I watch their season with interest and enjoy attending their events when I can.

Anyway, all this is to say that, though I don’t exactly go wild for watching professional baseball, I really do enjoy the part where it often brings family and friends together just to sit around and be together for several hours at a time. It is truly a great pastime, and I appreciate and am grateful for it.

(And I still don’t support people being angry or mean in any way regarding sports rivalries. Not a chance. Grow up. Be a kind human being. Period. Support your team, and stop being nasty to others just because you support one team in particular and they don’t.)

Okay, and the nerd part is that I got an A on my Mandarin oral quiz! And I didn’t even have the full amount of time to prepare for it. So, extra-cool! Yay!

Thank you, God, for my success and for this opportunity. In your name, I pray in gratitude. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Mandarin

So, I go to Mandarin class now on one of my off periods. Originally, it was because I was stressed after one particular class, and it helped me to release the stress by learning something new right afterward, just across the hall. However, that class is loads better and stresses me barely at all these days, and I’ve just continued going to Mandarin class, because I actually like learning the language. Not to mention that Houston is filled with Chinese folks, and Mandarin is not a useless skill to have here.

Anyway, so, I go. And I do as much of the work as I can, including the quizzes and such. I don’t always make it, but I go when I can. The teacher was at a conference last week, so I didn’t attend the class with a sub there, and I also totally forgot to look at whatever they were assigned while the teacher was gone. So, I only found out yesterday that there is an oral quiz tomorrow.

If I had known a week and a half ago, like the others, obviously, I would have done my intense studying and preparation a week ago, and be merely reviewing gently last night and tonight. However, I didn’t know. So, I’ve been doing some big studying the past two nights. Not crazy or anything, but enough to have a reasonable grasp of the questions and answers.

If the teacher does the regular questions and vocabulary in the interview, I should be fine. I seem to know my answers for all of that stuff. But I don’t know lots of vocabulary that don’t apply to my life much, so that could prove to be a struggle point. Naturally, I have back-up plans, though.

For example, there are only two vocabulary words that are for things I dislike. I have learned one decently and am working on the other a bit more in the morning. So, if he asks if I like or want to do something, so long as it isn’t one of those two things, even if I have no idea what it means, my answer can be a ‘yes’. So, yeah, I’m reasonably prepared.

I just wish I were more prepared. I don’t like the feeling of floundering. In another week, I could be very comfortable with these questions. But the quiz is tomorrow, so we roll with it.

With that, I go to sleep, so my brain can process and remember the stuff even better tomorrow. And so I can do well at my job, of course, though that doesn’t require the same level of sleep right now. 😛

Post-a-day 2023

Stress

Today was tough for me, filled with emotions, both of my own and of others. I did things in ways that weren’t the best, but that were the best I could do with the information and experience I had at the time. Now, only hours later, I certainly would do them differently, if presented with the opportunity again. Sometimes, that is hard to accept, knowing so soon how I could have done something so much better than I did. But, as I said already, I did the best I could with the available information. Now that I have more, I can act differently going forward. I did well at first, and I will do well in the future. Every event is a lesson available to me, allowing me to improve for the future. Today was no exception.

Dear God, please, help heal those in need of your healing. Help release the strain held so heavily and highly by the student today. Help him to accept fully your love and to trust in you. Help him to accept the help he needs and wants. And help him to let go of the restraints that prevent him from getting that help. Heal him, please. Thank you for this blessing of such trust. Thank you for this life. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023