There’s no time like the present, right?
Which, I guess, means that there’s no time like one in the morning! 😛
I had just completed a few hours of meditative work both for myself and for a friend – making a mala, and being very intentional about the whole thing and its entire process, thus taking hours to do it all, to meditate first on what to do, and then meditating by doing it – and, as I was packing up things, I acknowledged that the pull I had felt the past hour or so to play my second song (with the hopes of getting it recorded to share) was worth it… bed could wait a little longer – it wasn’t like I had to be anywhere early tomorrow, nor that I couldn’t nap as needed throughout the day (though I do have to start work at 9am, it is from home, and I don’t exactly have to talk to anyone first thing, possibly at all, so I’m okay to be a bit short on sleep…, even though I struggled with sleep last night…, but I’ll get back to that in a sec…).
Plus, this pull was more than just one to record a video or audio recording… there was something emotional pulling at me through it…
All these emotions that had gone into the song, they were ready to release, to be expressed, and to start to move onward… I had sat in them consciously for long enough – it was time.
Just to be sure, I played once just for myself, just to see how it went.
It was practically flawless.
So, then, yes, it was time.
I pulled up my computer, tested the sound and video and all, and then recorded…
And it was perfect.
And it was 1:12 in the morning, and that was perfect, somehow, too.
And now, without sharing the video, I will go get ready for bed and go to sleep, with hopes that, with these emotions out of me like this, I will find rest tonight, and can wake up refreshed tomorrow… unlike today.
And yet, even with these thoughts and feelings waking me while it was still dark outside, and not allowing but another short bit of respite – although, can we call it respite when we just end up inside stressy dreams with all the same thoughts and feelings that kept us up in the first place? – I still seem to be functioning at, now, almost two in the morning… I trust that I will be okay tomorrow, especially after resting for real… yes… I will sleep well tonight.
Thank you, God, for the music and the words… they are invaluable to me right now, and I am immensely grateful.
And I am ready for whatever is next : )