Author: hannah.ananas

Relics

Look, I know relics are truly this really cool thing and all, and they’re an absolute blessing to those of us living now who get to cross paths with them, but they still kind of creep me out. Perhaps it has a lot to do with the fact that I don’t exactly like to touch people and their stuff in the first place, even when they’re alive and sanitary and everything. Leaving them dead and in pieces for a few hounded years, and then touched by thousands upon thousands of people doesn’t exactly make me more interested in touching them and their stuff…

Makes sense, at any rate…

Post-a-day 2022

Ugh

Went to chiropractor this morning. Went to gym at noon for the workout. During the second round of goblet squats – I had only ten pounds, because I’m taking it extremely light with weight compared to the recommended – I had a sharp pain on the side of my left thigh, in slow-mo fast-time set down/half dropped the weights between my legs, and then fell over to the right. I cried. Only a little, but I cried. It’s kind of terrifying when something that normally works easily suddenly gives out, when the body is suddenly unreliable to do the basics of keeping us upright. Suffice it to say that I left the rest of the goblet squats alone, and moved on. Now, I’m lying in bed with medium-high pain – and, I think, swelling – on the right side of my back… Goodness, help me, please.

I really need to be careful right now. My body made it clear to me that it wants a rest from these work-outs right now. I’m hoping I can still be active in other ways – the long-boarding was mostly great physically, so I know there are things I certainly can do – while my body gets the rest it needs from the intense workouts. Perhaps this is a means of getting me to go do all those things we’ve been wanting to go do, but never manage. Like the long-boarding. And golf. And bicycle riding. And, maybe, even frisbee.

Thank you, God, for this opportunity. Please, help us to see clearly what is truly awaiting us in this opportunity. Show us your will. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Sunday, fun day

Some nights, I just want to lie down backwards in my bed after I shower, and pass out, wet hair and all.

But then I start to feel the layer of I-ate-food-today in my mouth, and I have to get up and brush my teeth, and then the whole feeling is gone, and I just continue with my regular bedtime routines, and get it bed normally at the end of them all…

Hmm…

P.S. I learned to do basics with long boarding today! We had a handful of minutes of major frustration, in which I nearly got hit by two different cars, just after my man had me follow him off the trail and onto the road, so we could to go a water fountain he said was at the park nearby. He had turned the corner already, and so didn’t see either car near-incident. I freaked out, because I wasn’t good enough yet with the board to be handling such situations, and because I couldn’t find him either for guidance/encouragement/moral support or even for directions. (I also didn’t have my phone, because we didn’t want me having to be concerned about not breaking it if/whenever I fell, which he knew.) So, I was dealing with both fear and a bit of abandonment, on top of my tiredness and thirst (because no water bottle, for the change in balance it would cause). That was a rough several minutes, to be sure, and neither of us was on our greatest behavior.

Post-a-day 2022

Bellyaches

For a few days now, I have had a sort of indigestion. I feel fine for a long while, and then a wave of ache and discomfort arrives, shaking my insides. I’ve had to rush to a bathroom more then once these past few days. How miserable it must be for people who have to live with something like this all the time… I am grateful this is only temporary. But I pray that it end tonight.

God, please heal this indigestion that is within me. Help me to pursue your will with my whole body functioning at its best. Please, heal all those in need of your healing tonight. In your name and with gratitude, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Okay!

Last day of teaching for this assignment has completed! Woohoo!

We had a family dinner out tonight in celebration of my completion of the assignment. Now, onward to whatever else is next! (Sure, I most certainly have some big plans in place, but there is always a nearly-surprising amount of wiggle room in there for things to go entirely differently than intended – I have learned my lesson on that very well by this point!)

Dear God, please, help me to have clarity with each step of this, and guide me to fulfill your will in all that I do. Help me to be my best self with all that I am. Thank you for this blessing of a life. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Staying up late

Tomorrow is the last day in my current teaching position. I don’t teach class until after 11:00, though. So, partly in celebration of my last day, I decided to go ahead and watch a movie, instead of going to bed when it was only around 7:30pm.

Yet, it is just after eleven now, and I am barely managing to write this as I lie in my bed, practically passing out… clearly, I need to work out a better sleep schedule again. This has been way too tough lately, and in many ways.

Post-a-day 2022

And what did she say?

“And what did she say?”

“She didn’t.”

“She didn’t say anything at all? She just packed up and disappeared?”

“Well, she packed bags and said she was going to visit her dad.”

“And she just never came back…”

“Yeah…”

“That makes it less surprising that you always have the experience of not being good enough, not being enough…”

Post-a-day 2022

Feeling crushed by gravity

I find myself not wanting to exercise or go to the gym. And I’m noticing how similarly it feels to before I had adjustments from a chiropractor, specifically a certain spinal adjustment. Afterward, I felt taller, and unbound from something I hadn’t known was binding me for quite some time. I actually wanted to exercise, then. I actually felt like doing it… in a way I hadn’t in years.

And so feel so much like that pre-adjustment time right now, when the idea of physical exercise feels exhausting. Where it feels like I’m tied up, somehow, like the puppet strings are all knotted up, limiting motion… I don’t feel terrible, but I don’t feel well and I don’t feel myself and I definitely don’t feel like working out. I just seem to want to curl up in bed and rest, really.

Thank you, God, for this appointment on Thursday. Please, please, let it be exactly what my body (and mind) need(s). In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Drugs

I have never once had a desire to participate in drugs. Never.

Yet, that seems to be more of the odd man out than the average…

I had no idea, growing up, that so many people had such great interest in drugs, even in just minor ones, like marijuana. But it has never had appeal for me. In fact, most drug use has always seemed sad to me, tied indefinitely with the idea of running away from or avoiding life on some level. But avoidance never truly helps in life, not in the long run, and drugs seem to prove the same.

Post-a-day 2022