And, boy(!), did we get loads accomplished in the yard today! I had an amazing time today, taking it easy while using my physical energy to make improvements to our backyard. We added so much beauty today, it was such a blessing to be able to do it all. And it was even more of a blessing not to have to check the clock… at all. We just got to take care of things, have fun together, argue a lot about what way to do certain things (especially when one of us already had a way we were going to do it, and the other didn’t realize that), and learn to let it go and continue onward together, even when we did separate things from one another. It was just a beautiful day making beautiful things.
And, oh, yeah, it was extremely hot. One neighbor mentioned that there may even have been a heat warning… so, there’s that.
But today was such a blessing and a meditation and a working out of kinks, it was perfect.
Thank you, God, for this day. We tidied so much more than just the yard today. Thank you for all of it. Help us always to see clearly our next step to fulfill your will. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Dear Lord, please, help my man to find relief and fulfillment in his work. If this is not the job for him, help him to find clearly what he must do now and next, and when next is. Please, make his every step clear for us both, that we may pursue and fulfill your will through his work. Grant him ease and confidence, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Today, we had a reunion for my childhood swim team. Not very many people showed up, but a few of the most significant ones for me were there, and it was awesome. Also, the cookies one person made were actually delicious – both the cookie itself and that lemon icing were awesome.
Now, I really wish we had an adult version of summer swim team. Not super competitive, but enough to give us a goal and a bit of a challenge to work on improving our swimming. For the people who love swimming and swim team, but don’t want to dedicate their lives to it or anything. Somewhere between the college athletes and the drunken social kickball – that’s what I would love to have for swim team. That would be awesome.
I was not great at swim team, as practices were in the early morning, and I was not a morning person until just a couple years ago. So, I never improved much during the season, not like most others in the team who went to practice even half the time. But I loved it when I did go to practices, and I loved the whole social and family aspect of swim team. We really were all like family to each other, and it was amazing. The older kids watched out for, taught, coached, and had fun with the younger kids, and everyone learned so much with each other and from each other. We had some valuable bonds that were different from standard friendships. I guess that was s team bond. Seeing each other today was so easy and wonderful, though most of us hadn’t seen each other for close to 20-25 years. And there was no hurt that we hadn’t stayed in each others’ lives – we hadn’t expected to do so, you could say. But we all valued the time we did spend together and the relationships we had then. And we reveled in getting to touch base outside of swim team… decades later.
Thank you, God, for this wonderful time today. Please, heal this cold that I seem to have. Help to heal us all. Amen.
Well, we are home now, and showered and going to bed. We are slightly sunburned and the man has something like a low-grade end-of-digestion stomach bug, and we are definitely exhausted and longing for a day of rest tomorrow. However, the weekend went quite well, we both enjoyed it, and I’m both grateful and glad that it all went how it did.
A fun moment:
We all do a silent auction for our family reunion now. So, my man and I always consider what we might bring to donate for it, though without having to purchase something new. This time, we had some extra handmade Mexican mugs from our previous trip together to Mexico. We had just last week (on his most recent trip there) purchased other mugs that we both really like, and so the previous unused, simpler ones were fully ready to find a new home.
So, we donate the mugs. After my mom arrives at the reunion, she mentions how the only things that particularly interest her in the auction are something-I-forgot and the mugs that we had brought. It made us both laugh. ‘No, Mom. Don’t buy the mugs that we brought, which have been sitting at our house, unused for the past six months.’ 😛
She didn’t.
But one of my second cousins did (that means the child of my mom’s cousin). He bid the full value we listed – because these mugs truly would have been for sale for $10 a piece here in Texas – of $40. My man thought the girlfriend must have said she wanted them, yet we found out that the second cousin actually truly wanted them for himself and he wanted to make sure he won them. So, he out the value down as the first bid, and he won the things.
However, his girlfriend also really liked the mugs, and, as he was putting it, he was pretty sure he would be having to split them with her. But there were two of each color, so that wouldn’t be too hard to manage fairly.
But get this: The whole reason we even ended up talking with him about it was because he was standing outside with his cousins actively drinking out of one of the mugs!(!!!) He wasn’t joking when he’d said he really liked the mugs. He started using them right away and was so happy about it. I even photographed the moment, it was just so adorable and hilarious.
I’m so glad they have found such a happy home that loves and values them so much now! It just goes to show that, just because we may not love something, doesn’t mean it isn’t awesome and lovable in someone else’s eyes. Put differently, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. No, they weren’t trash at all for us, but we definitely didn’t love them the way my second cousin loves them. Now, they will be loved appropriately, and I am so grateful.
Thank you, God, for the successful and safe weekend. Please, heal us both in all ways, that we grow closer to you and to each other. Thank you for my family. In your name, I pray, Amen.
I’ll get to wake up knowing that he is on his way back here. I likely will be a bit anxious throughout most of the day. However, I pray for God’s guidance and steadying hand, that I keep myself busy with the tasks I want to complete tomorrow before my love gets back.
Dear God, please, keep my man and the dog and the stuff all safe and together tomorrow. Give them safe and easy passage back here to me. Give me guidance and a steadying hand – help me to trust in you, tomorrow especially, and to trust in your love and your power to keep them safe. Help us always to pursue and fulfill your will. Heal where we are hurting. Help us to share your love always and to be our best selves. In your name, I pray. Amen.
I dropped off the cousin with another fourth cousin (this one twice removed!) today at midday, and have been working on getting back into it all since then. I got some studies done (though very little), picked up some, rested some, and ran some errands (specifically buying some hooks for the chickens’ fence to connect and disconnect easily to our yard’s fence and a wheelbarrow – woohoo!).
Then, I picked up my aunt and uncle at the airport as they returned from El Salvador. Unfortunately, they never looked outside to the pickup area, so they had no idea they would have to spend several minutes fighting their way out to me once I finally made it through the terrible traffic trying to pick up those hoards of people waiting in the heat, all caused by terrible construction at that terminal of the airport – construction that has been going on for over a year, at least, and is only getting worse. Nonetheless, they made it out just in time for me not to have to spend another half hour barely moving after circling the airport.
There were hundreds of people crammed into nowhere near enough space for them, let alone for their luggage, too. It was dreadful, and even freaked me out a bit. It was at least 200 meters long, the pickup area, plus the walkway to get there, and that was all packed just like in these photos, even more packed on the walkways and ramps at the start. It was frightening. What was more frightening was that the airport folks didn’t seem to be bothered by it one bit, as though it weren’t a major problem. Why was I not going to pull away when I was clearly parked at the end, the officer is asking (though kindly)? Because my family is over there, but they are trapped in the crowd and can’t get out. (I wasn’t even lying, y’all.) Fortunately, the officer then asked what they were wearing. I had no idea, though. Just as I said so, they suddenly popped into view in the roadway a few cars back, shoving their way forward by hugging to the vehicles that clearly weren’t moving very quickly or at all. As soon as they got to the car, they threw in their luggage and told me to get in and drive. I obliged. They were worried I wouldn’t be able to get out, due to the cars all trying to cram out. I’m no India driver, but I am a good Houston driver. Just as I had snuck my way in to be able to pick them up at the curb, I forced my way out, back into the third lane, the one with moving traffic, and got us out of there quite quickly. (They were impressed, and specifically commented on how they’d forgotten that I was a Houston driver and could do stuff like that. 😛 )
Anyway, they’re here and they’ve showered and gone to bed. Now, I’ve showered, and I’m going to bed, too.
Goodnight!
Thank you, God, for the safe travels today. Please, make us all well and healthy, and heal where we could use healing to help us become our best selves. Keep my man safe, please, as well as the dog and all of his stuff and our stuff. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Today, the whole energy thing was definitely lessened from yesterday. It was still a draining day by the end – technically, the next morning end – but it was much improved as a whole and had much more low energy times for me. I got to go to Church, spend some time in the backyard on my own, and even relax alone and nap on the floor for a little while before dinner. There were, of course other things that happened, too, but these low-energy events made all the difference for me today, and I was and am still very grateful for the gifts of them.
I’m also grateful for the great Tex-Mex dinner and margaritas we had together as a family – siblings and in-law and fourth cousin once removed, as we were – and the time we spent at the country western bar afterward together. I even danced with a few people, and my family danced with each other, too, and we all had an actually great time. Then we discovered the little side room with karaoke, and dove into that for a while before going to stand and talk in the parking lot for another twenty-ish minutes before going home hours after we had planned to end the evening. So, I’m not excited to be going to bed after two AM right now, but I’m grateful for the down time I’d had with myself during the day that helped me to enjoy the other stuff better. And I’m really grateful for the piano my man kept for me, and that I was able to play it for a while after the cousin and I got home around midnight, and I was able to let out what I needed for that pent-up stress of having been around quite so much energy for the past two days. It really helped, and I’m now able to go to sleep for real, instead of just physically. I expect to sleep quite well tonight, though I must be out the door by 10:30 in the morning. Short night, but good sleep, here I am. Let’s do this.
Thank you, God, for this day. Keep my man safe, please.
Oh! I’m also grateful for the exercise I did today, as well as for the wonderful time I had selecting Mexican art stuff with my man through the phone in the middle of the day. The former was just plain good for me, and the latter was a total blast (though, it did make me miss my man all the more, he is just so amazing and loving and caring…).
P.S. Thank you, God, for this beloved man. I love him so much, I am filled with your love and gratitude, having him in my life. Thank you for this immense blessing. As mentioned, please, keep him safe. In your name, I pray. Amen.
P.P.S. I got sunburned on my back from the outside time, so, that’s a little bit of ouch all over right now…
Today, I did outdoorsy stuff and spent time with people I love and who love me. I had a great lunch with my dad, a great workout with a friend over FaceTime (and her little sister who was doing a lot of the stuff with us, on and off, which was adorable, including her counting aloud when she was on a way different count than either of us had been at the time :P)), and then I had a great evening playing pickle ball with friends for my friend’s birthday – none of us had ever played before today, and there is definitely an adjustment to be made from tennis – and then having dinner with them afterward. I got home tonight close to 9pm, absolutely exhausted and sun exhausted.
I could barely stay up half an hour to talk with my man before I went to bed. And my skin is only slightly burned, but I definitely spent some time in the sun today, and I can feel it throughout my skin and body.
Dear God, thank you for such love and fun and satisfaction today. Thank you, loads. Please, help us all to sleep very well and effectively tonight, that we awaken tomorrow ready for Church and your word, as well as pursuing and fulfilling your will and our daily goals! In your name, I pray. Amen!
(Forgive the language, please a it just seemed quite appropriately used here.)
There’s a lot of junk that comes with getting old. I don’t merely mean old-er. I mean old. There are lots of little hassles and troubles involved with getting older, with aging as a whole. But getting old has a uniquely stressful aspect: As the body and mind age, they often tend to revert towards babyhood, and adults are not prepared to take care of a 90-year-old toddler who not only can make others believe he is competent and allowed to be out alone, but can get out alone the moment a back is turned or a corner is rounded.
At some point, when ZK was still on my childhood, I was talking with my dad about the idea of grown kids wiping their parents’ butts as the parents grew too old to do it themselves. I asked him if he expected us to wipe his butt one day. He, quite seriously, said he absolutely did not expect it. I was surprised. He said he expected us to hire someone else to do it. I was even more shocked. You wouldn’t want your own family to care for you? And his answer was a firm, confident, and clear, ‘No.’
I didn’t understand it back then, not really. He had said something about hatred or resentment, but it didn’t make sense to me. After seeing the struggle with someone in my own family lately, and now having to deal with it firsthand myself, I understand what my dad had meant. He didn’t want us to resent him int he final years of his life. He wanted us to be able to love him and be happy with him in those years. Yes, it is very loving to care physically for someone, but it isn’t always happy or easy doing that. There can be a massive buildup of very negative memories in that relationship right at the very end of the old person’s life, leaving the younger person grateful of the death and, necessarily, then feeling horrible for being relieved and glad for it.
It is hard dealing with an old, sick person. Getting almost no sleep in order to help with constant bathroom wake-ups throughout the night, cleaning up bodily filth that ended up all over clothes and the floor and almost none in the toilet, forcing down medicines or vitamins or healthy foods or water just to help heal an illness or relieve the pains, changing a diaper on a fully grown person who resists it, despite having just walked around half-naked in public and not knowing it… that and so much more is very hard to handle. What’s harder is handling it all and not, in some way, resenting the person for whom one is doing it all. It’s so hard not to take it personally, especially when that person yells at you for who knows what…
So, I get it. I wouldn’t want my kids to have their final memories of and with me be ones of near-constant frustration and anger and heartbreak. Having and unrelated person come in to take care of the old person goes much further than one might think, for all members of the family. I never would have thought that before doing it myself, seeing it happen myself, twice now. And I am all the more grateful for the people in this world who do choose to take up that role in society. Those caretakers make more than a little difference. They don’t just do the grunt work or the dirty work of the situation. They can truly heal the situation. They completely transform what likely would have happened without them, and all the relationships involved for the better.
Thank you, all you who take care of the old people for their families. You help more than you could know.
hannah ananas 