Tag: stress

Not excited

I have a jury duty summons for tomorrow. The courthouse is about 40 minutes away, without traffic. Start time is 8:30am. Compensation barely covers the cost of gasoline to get there and back.

Jury duty frustrates me immensely, and on multiple levels. I won’t get into it now, but I will mention one thing.

People claim that Voir Dire, the questioning of potential jurors by the lawyers to determine whether they will be on the jury or not, means, “to tell the truth”. It absolutely does not. It means, “to see to say”. I speak French. I know these words and I use them regularly in French. I also use the various words for “truth,” none of which are “voir” or anything like it. “To tell the truth,” would be, “Dire la vérité.” “Voir dire,” only equals, “To see to say.”

So, I went ahead and grilled Chat GPT on it. It gave some basic boring information, quoting all the same articles I had already crossed. But I kept pushing it to find the sources behind the sources, and, after taking much about the Medieval French practices of law, we came to this simple response/explanation:

Yes, you are correct. The term “voir dire” in its legal context originally referred to the process of “seeing” or “observing” what potential jurors said or how they responded to questions during their examination. It was used to assess their qualifications, impartiality, and credibility to determine if they were suitable to serve on the jury for a particular case.

The word “voir” in French means “to see,” and it has never meant “truth.” The term “voir dire” itself does not directly translate to “to speak the truth” in French.

The term “voir dire” originated in medieval England during the Norman Conquest when French legal terms were introduced into the English legal system. “Voir dire” was used to describe the process of “speaking the truth” or “telling the truth” during the examination of witnesses or jurors in legal proceedings.

While the term “voir dire” itself comes from the Old French words “voir” (to see) and “dire” (to speak), its usage in the legal context in England evolved to represent the idea of truth-speaking during the examination of witnesses and jurors.

Bam. I am satisfied that a reputable source agrees with me that evolution of terminology has happened in the case of “voir dire,” and that it does not mean “to speak the truth,” no matter how many times people claim it. It merely references a time when potential jurors are expected to speak the truth, and the lawyers observe the responses and determine how to proceed with each potential juror based on those responses. And it still means “to see to say”.

Goodnight.

God, let me go home early tomorrow morning, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Important

While emotionally difficult, the film “The Sound of Freedom” is an important and valuable film, especially for those who have little exposure to information of human trafficking and its statistics.

Human trafficking is a true thing, unfortunately, and, many could say, undeniable work of the devil, as spooky or odd as that might sound. I, myself, had the thought tonight, Why does God allow this? And I realized immediately: He doesn’t. It is not God’s will or work at all…

So, go see “The Sound of Freedom”, a film that portrays rather well the true story of a Homeland Security officer who was moved by the encouragement of God to valuable, illogical, immensely dangerous, and life-saving action. Then, spread the word to upload hotel and hotel room photos to TraffickCam.com in order to help AI help to identify where trafficked people are being kept, transferred, and photographed. They are both small yet significant steps on helping to heal the world and to slow down the terrifying rate of human trafficking, in hopes of eventually ending it altogether.

If you’re ever in Houston, stop by A 2nd Cup, a coffee shop dedicated to educate on and to help end human trafficking. As they say, they are more than a cafe – they are coffee with a cause. And their coffee and teas are actually quite good to drink, too.

In addition to that, love. Please, love. Especially those who are the worst of company, show them mercy’s no show them love. If you cannot show your own love to these people, show them God’s love. The only way truly to heal our world and its many sadnesses and evils is with love. Let people know that they matter – they, too, are children of God, even if they have strayed from His path and will in their lives. It is likely a lack of love that led them astray in the first place. They, too, and they, especially, need love. So, I ask you, please, to love.

Dear God, help us to love, please. Give us the courage we need to help heal the world through your love. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Sorting it out

We love each other. God, do we love each other.

But we are still struggling to figure out how to let go of all the insecurities and junk that doesn’t serve us, in order to accept the love each of us has for the other.

And that part has proven surprisingly difficult and incredibly annoying.

‘Why do we have to piss each other off so much?’

‘Because we’re so hard-headed.’

‘And defensive.’

‘What? Me? Speak for yourself!’

😂😂

I’m just glad we can see it all. It isn’t easy to work through all of this, but it would be loads harder and nearly impossible doing it blindly.

Thank you, God, for this love and this relationship. Help us always to become better with each other through your love. Help us to let go of that which does not serve our highest selves and you, as you intended it to be in our lives. Thank you for this life. Help all to experience and notice your love. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Mouthaches

I have a sore spot in the corner of my mouth. I’ve had it happen in the past, but with no clear reason that I can recall at present. It is not common or regular or anything. It just has happened in the past, I know. I felt it getting really dry the other night, and woke up the next morning with a really dry mouth corner. A while later, it seemed to be almost like a cold sore kind of thing, but also very much not like one. Now, a few days later, as I remember the other times going, the skin keeps ripping and healing as I open my mouth to eat, and then let it sit between eating times.

Basically, it is annoying, and I would like for it to go away. Also, it is a little painful, which sucks on its own, and then more painful every time it rips open again. Cuts on the edges of the mouth are quite terrible, to say the least. Haha

Anyway, I’m exhausted, and we both seem to have a small bug of some sort, though, possibly, different bugs. I went to bed with a sore throat, and he’s been dealing with digestion struggles since he got back the other night. Whatever the case, we both slept loads throughout the day, and that seemed to help. However, we are both ready to sleep a whole night’s sleep now, despite having slept so much today. Our bodies are clearly fighting off something.

Dear God, please, heal us both. Thank you for this life and love and good health. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Stressing

Tomorrow, we are scheduled to go tubing. But then breakfast got added in there. As ridiculous as it may sound, I very strongly prefer to have a BM at home in the mornings. With the new schedule, my body is already stressing a shaving to ‘figure it out’. Public bathroom are almost never easy for me, let alone for that kind of need. Ugh…

Sometimes, life can be really annoying with all these tiny yet significant struggles…

God, help me find the clear solution and path, please. Keep us safe. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Tomorrow morning…

I’ll get to wake up knowing that he is on his way back here. I likely will be a bit anxious throughout most of the day. However, I pray for God’s guidance and steadying hand, that I keep myself busy with the tasks I want to complete tomorrow before my love gets back.

Dear God, please, keep my man and the dog and the stuff all safe and together tomorrow. Give them safe and easy passage back here to me. Give me guidance and a steadying hand – help me to trust in you, tomorrow especially, and to trust in your love and your power to keep them safe. Help us always to pursue and fulfill your will. Heal where we are hurting. Help us to share your love always and to be our best selves. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Getting closer…

One more day, and then he’ll be heading back to me. I can hardly wait. I’ve never missed someone – not even him – like this.

God, keep him safe, please, and give him a safe and easy passage back here this Friday, along with all his things and the car and the dog – keep them all safe and well and together, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Blowing the surprise

I was so extremely careful with every photo I sent and with everything I wrote here, and then I got distracted and wanted to capture a video of my uncle starting up his boat, and rushed to do it, then sent it to my mom and my man without thinking about proofing the photo first.

And that blew it. I almost immediately had a phone call. “Where did you get those plants?” Plants? What plants did he mean? I checked the photo I’d last sent him twenty minutes prior. Those are only the trees in pots that I moved around a bit – not new plants. I think that must be it. And then I realize that I had just sent a photo to him and my mom, not just to him… and I definitely didn’t proof it before sending it.

Sure enough, right there in the center bottom of the photo is visible a whole corner of the new garden beds and their flower and shrubs. I worked so many hours on that thing, and I was so careful to keep it a surprise for my man when he got back this Friday… for two weeks, I have kept this secret from him successfully, despite a few close calls. But man… I blew it this morning, and now he knows about the brand new flower beds, which are gorgeous, by the way. I hauled almost a thousand pounds of bricks… twice… to make the border of the beds. Add to that the weed burning and pulling and digging-up, as well as the shoveling out of all the pebbles, and then the tilling of the soil and removal of random brick pieces buried all throughout the area, flattening of the border area, laying of pebbles, tamping the pebbles flat, and then placing and leveling the border bricks. It was a lot. And it was outside in the heat, all in my own.

And, before all that, I’d gone to talk with experts and to look at plants, researched a bunch online, and, later, even brought a soil sample to an expert to confirm that my planned plants could survive in the soil. I was keeping it on a tight budget, so far as putting in garden beds goes. And I’d arranged to get a bunch of free mint (three types) and oregano from my brother, who has a huge garden.

The only consolation I truly have is that he hasn’t seen the whole area, all together. It really is impressive all together, even compared to seeing just a portion of it. So, I hope he truly will enjoy that and be surprised by it. I know he’ll love it all, whether he’s surprised or not, and that’s truly the point – that he enjoy something I did for him to enjoy. So, we still have that, even if the element of the big surprise has been lost.

I did tell him how I worked so hard to keep it all secret and just to do it all period, and asked him still to be surprised when he got home. He readily agreed, and, when I reiterated later in the conversation, he replied, ‘About what?’, which was lovely of him to do.

Thank you, God, for this absolutely amazing man and for allowing us to choose each other. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Please, help my flowers and plants to thrive and to keep our yard beautiful. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Getting back into it

I dropped off the cousin with another fourth cousin (this one twice removed!) today at midday, and have been working on getting back into it all since then. I got some studies done (though very little), picked up some, rested some, and ran some errands (specifically buying some hooks for the chickens’ fence to connect and disconnect easily to our yard’s fence and a wheelbarrow – woohoo!).

Then, I picked up my aunt and uncle at the airport as they returned from El Salvador. Unfortunately, they never looked outside to the pickup area, so they had no idea they would have to spend several minutes fighting their way out to me once I finally made it through the terrible traffic trying to pick up those hoards of people waiting in the heat, all caused by terrible construction at that terminal of the airport – construction that has been going on for over a year, at least, and is only getting worse. Nonetheless, they made it out just in time for me not to have to spend another half hour barely moving after circling the airport.

There were hundreds of people crammed into nowhere near enough space for them, let alone for their luggage, too. It was dreadful, and even freaked me out a bit. It was at least 200 meters long, the pickup area, plus the walkway to get there, and that was all packed just like in these photos, even more packed on the walkways and ramps at the start. It was frightening. What was more frightening was that the airport folks didn’t seem to be bothered by it one bit, as though it weren’t a major problem. Why was I not going to pull away when I was clearly parked at the end, the officer is asking (though kindly)? Because my family is over there, but they are trapped in the crowd and can’t get out. (I wasn’t even lying, y’all.) Fortunately, the officer then asked what they were wearing. I had no idea, though. Just as I said so, they suddenly popped into view in the roadway a few cars back, shoving their way forward by hugging to the vehicles that clearly weren’t moving very quickly or at all. As soon as they got to the car, they threw in their luggage and told me to get in and drive. I obliged. They were worried I wouldn’t be able to get out, due to the cars all trying to cram out. I’m no India driver, but I am a good Houston driver. Just as I had snuck my way in to be able to pick them up at the curb, I forced my way out, back into the third lane, the one with moving traffic, and got us out of there quite quickly. (They were impressed, and specifically commented on how they’d forgotten that I was a Houston driver and could do stuff like that. 😛 )

Anyway, they’re here and they’ve showered and gone to bed. Now, I’ve showered, and I’m going to bed, too.

Goodnight!

Thank you, God, for the safe travels today. Please, make us all well and healthy, and heal where we could use healing to help us become our best selves. Keep my man safe, please, as well as the dog and all of his stuff and our stuff. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

A decent mix

Today, the whole energy thing was definitely lessened from yesterday. It was still a draining day by the end – technically, the next morning end – but it was much improved as a whole and had much more low energy times for me. I got to go to Church, spend some time in the backyard on my own, and even relax alone and nap on the floor for a little while before dinner. There were, of course other things that happened, too, but these low-energy events made all the difference for me today, and I was and am still very grateful for the gifts of them.

I’m also grateful for the great Tex-Mex dinner and margaritas we had together as a family – siblings and in-law and fourth cousin once removed, as we were – and the time we spent at the country western bar afterward together. I even danced with a few people, and my family danced with each other, too, and we all had an actually great time. Then we discovered the little side room with karaoke, and dove into that for a while before going to stand and talk in the parking lot for another twenty-ish minutes before going home hours after we had planned to end the evening. So, I’m not excited to be going to bed after two AM right now, but I’m grateful for the down time I’d had with myself during the day that helped me to enjoy the other stuff better. And I’m really grateful for the piano my man kept for me, and that I was able to play it for a while after the cousin and I got home around midnight, and I was able to let out what I needed for that pent-up stress of having been around quite so much energy for the past two days. It really helped, and I’m now able to go to sleep for real, instead of just physically. I expect to sleep quite well tonight, though I must be out the door by 10:30 in the morning. Short night, but good sleep, here I am. Let’s do this.

Thank you, God, for this day. Keep my man safe, please.

Oh! I’m also grateful for the exercise I did today, as well as for the wonderful time I had selecting Mexican art stuff with my man through the phone in the middle of the day. The former was just plain good for me, and the latter was a total blast (though, it did make me miss my man all the more, he is just so amazing and loving and caring…).

P.S. Thank you, God, for this beloved man. I love him so much, I am filled with your love and gratitude, having him in my life. Thank you for this immense blessing. As mentioned, please, keep him safe. In your name, I pray. Amen.

P.P.S. I got sunburned on my back from the outside time, so, that’s a little bit of ouch all over right now…

Post-a-day 2023