Sometimes, life just feels really sucky.
And that’s completely okay. Truly, it is. Just allow it to be exactly as it is, and embrace it for itself. Treat it exactly the same as moments of awesomeness and joy, and they are all merely sort of life and can teach us something at every step… even when they suck.
You can do this, Banana… truly, you can.
Post-a-day 2022
I want to ride my biiiike.
The ride was a success this morning, despite my bike’s falling (I stayed on my feet, through the fall, though), my mom not even noticing and thereby leaving us behind for 2/3 of the first half, my man fooling around with tricks and other stress-inducing and higher-risk activities rather constantly, and the path being terribly marked (only mile markers 1-5, 12, and 13 were up… marking the kilometers…, and there was almost no signage at all on the way back, leaving loads of people to have to double back and find the way on sorts that varied from the way out…, and the police crossing-guards all disappeared, too). Also, it was cold almost the entire time(!!!). That was a surprise. I purposely didn’t bring the extra layers beyond a long-sleeve and a short rain jacket this time because of the forecasted temperature elevation shortly after we were starting the ride. But it worked out okay by the end, with a little bit of sun shining beautifully for the after-party.
Of course, I had to rush to an outdoor training thing up north afterward, and we ended up standing in the shade for hours, despite the whole rest of the place being in blazing sunlight (which is why I’d left all seaters and jackets in the car, yet again). So, I never fully warmed up all day. And that’s probably why I just took an absurdly hot and long shower… it was over 82° in the bathroom when I finished showering, and it felt great. (Remember that I typically prefer cooler temperatures. I just also want to be dressed appropriately for those temperatures, and I wasn’t today.)
Anyway, good day, all in all. I love my man. I love God. I love my mom. I love my life. I love today. Thank you, God. Amen.
P.S. He swears he’s watching the baseball game right now…, but that absurdly loud snoring coming from the curled up man on the sofa begs to differ. 😂
P.P.S. I woke him up for the ninth inning, because I knew he’d want to witness that live. Certainly glad I did! Congratulations, gentlemen. Well played.
Post-a-day 2022
*oder – (German) or
These beautiful and wonderful things keep coming up. I am grateful for each and every one of them. However, they have rather kept me from pursuing the main goal I had to pursue, now that my teaching position has ended: coding. I had set myself up for this path toward coding, and the main resource has been delayed, and I haven’t reached out yet to the secondary resource, because I’ve been so busy managing the tutoring that’s come up, along with the part-time job work and the other part-time job work and the tidying and catching up on things at home…
Have these things been coming up because they are distractions, requiring me to prove my dedication and desire to pursue this goal of coding right now? Or are they actually directions from God and the Universe, answering my prayers for clear guidance, showing me that diving fully into the coding is not what they need me to do right now?
God, help me to follow your will fully. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2022
Sometimes, it’s really hard for me to go out, to go to new places or just typical could-be-dirty-type places. Sometimes, it’s not very big of a deal. Tonight, I was excited about the idea of going to one place – a clean place in my mind. Then, the excitement transferred to a new idea of watching the baseball game somewhere nearby over drinks, instead of and after the meeting with drinks farther away. As we got into details of where this other place would be, I started to struggle a bit. It became something that I wanted to do for my man, much more so than for myself or for us to have fun. I found pleasure in the idea mostly out of his desire to go out and do something, to be somewhere that isn’t home, doing something relaxing and enjoyable.
So, I asked my brother if he and his wife were interested, and they almost immediately joined the plan. I made it clear that finding a place was on them, though without being rude or mean. My man recommended two spots, and my brother picked one. Once my man finished with his meeting across town, we headed to join my brother and sister-in-law at the selected patio bar place. I was only a little scared about it all, and it proved to be very reasonable a place, with clean amenities, even at night (I’d been there once during the day already). I enjoyed my time there with my family, and I’m glad we went. Hopefully, my man and my brother both got the relaxation and bit of fun and variation they likely both were needing tonight, my man especially.
God, grant them both blessed refreshing sleep tonight, please, that they be best prepared to pursue and fulfill your will in their lives tomorrow. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2022
Last night, we went to a Halloween party. There was much alcohol drinking and some cigarette smoking. Music was not very loud, but people were somewhat loud. The space wast crowded, except in narrower passageways on occasion.
I had a decent time. I’m glad we went, as it was an important event for my man’s family. We also both looked awesome, both in terms of outfits and in terms of fitness and overall adorable-ness.
However, I typically prefer staying home over going to such events. I felt so fancy, going to a party and on a Saturday night… like all the normal people, I passively thought.
Coincidentally, the story I did in Duolingo tonight was all about how these two girls stayed home every Friday evening and watched their favorite television show, instead of ever going out anymore. When their flatmate walks out in a party dress and says she’s going out dancing, they decide to go with her. The one who declared they were going with her finds at the club that it is too dark, the music is too loud, it is too crowded, and her feet start hurting rather quickly into the night.
As I read the story, I couldn’t help but notice that, aside from the feet part, I usually experience the same things whenever I have to go out to things. Though, as in her case, no one else ever seems to care.
What was funny with the story itself was that, as this girl is commenting on these things, and declares that she wants to go home already, she asks, ‘Am I the only one who isn’t cool anymore?’, for they had said earlier that the cool thing to do was to go out on Friday nights. Her friend replies, ‘Don’t worry – you weren’t ever cool in the first place.’
And, somehow, I found immense delight in that statement. Perhaps it reminded me of me and my best friend, and how we always are honest with things, and how we find it comical when our honesty, to an outsider, could sound terribly mean, but that it is very much not a big deal to us. Also, though, she and I never really were considered “cool”, anyway. We were fun and smart and goofy and weird and kind and sweet and reliable and all sorts of good stuff. People got along with us rather easily, and enjoyed our presence, of course. But we just weren’t exactly ever cool. She was even student body president in high school. She got closer than I did to cool, but she still wasn’t cool. So, we would have definitely had a conversation like the one in this Duolingo story tonight, my best friend and I. And that was a good feeling.
Anyway, I absolutely could relate to the story in all levels, and I loved that ending to the story, somehow, in a very personal way. It was awesome. Thank you, God. Amen.
Post-a-day 2022
A quick back massage for massive aches, but we must hurry and do it before either or both parties pass out from utter exhaustion.
Post-a-day 2022
Dear God,
I simply pray that all people be kind, loving, selfless, and forgiving throughout this World Series, especially those who call themselves “rivals” to others. Help us all to remember that we are all children of God, blessings to the world in all that we each are and in all that we are together, as one people.
In your name, I pray.
Amen.
Post-a-day 2022
… but do we listen?
When the body stops working for you, what do you do? What can you do?
I truly believe it is a demanded chance for us to rest, not to push ourselves so hard as we have been lately, so hard as what made the body want so desperately to take a break (almost literally). If we don’t rest, it is all too likely to grow even worse, if not now, then soon enough.
Our bodies are speaking to us always, and not merely about what’s going on on the outside in life…
Post-a-day 2022
Look, I know relics are truly this really cool thing and all, and they’re an absolute blessing to those of us living now who get to cross paths with them, but they still kind of creep me out. Perhaps it has a lot to do with the fact that I don’t exactly like to touch people and their stuff in the first place, even when they’re alive and sanitary and everything. Leaving them dead and in pieces for a few hounded years, and then touched by thousands upon thousands of people doesn’t exactly make me more interested in touching them and their stuff…
Makes sense, at any rate…
Post-a-day 2022
It’s not even eight PM yet, and I am lying in bed, barely able to get my stretches and everything done. I’m just working on going to bed here, and I can barely seem to do that. Talk about exhaustion. No wonder I had a headache all day, right??
Post-a-day 2022
hannah ananas 