Tag: sick

School

I have to give a 20-minute presentation tomorrow on a 15-20-page paper I haven’t yet written, the research for which I have only just tonight begun reading… and had to stop reading, because money (aka real) work last night went so late that I didn’t get enough sleep to be at a level of quality functioning today…

I imagine I’ll manage something decent for the presentation, but ugh, this being exhausted so often and having to do work I don’t particularly want to do is just really exhausting. 😛

No wonder I feel ill.

P.S. I am a long-time procrastinator, so the last-minute work is nothing new – just the exhaustion from other stresses and whatnot combined with the procrastination is new and stressful.

Post-a-day 2018

No adulting for me, please

I have OCD, and I’m taking supplements to help rebalance out my hormone levels (because a lot of OCD is tied to hormone imbalances), and it had been making a noticeable difference.

But having the OCD still sucks, and some days are just really sucky.

And I mean really, really sucky… like today…, and I just want to have someone who will come take care of me and do everything for me, because I’m already stomach sick, and I don’t want to deal with anything but curling up in bed, and the OCD is panicking because I am sick…, and I just don’t want to deal with any of it (by) myself right now.

Post-a-day 2018

More scared than actually sick

My stomach has ached and I have been consistently nauseous for the past four or five days…

Just about any food – and I mean the idea of it – makes my stomach curl in concern.

I feel as though I am growing paranoid about whether I’ll be able to find the right foods to make this all end, and am thereby making it all worse by being so distraught.

I don’t know how pregnant women do it for weeks at a time, and get through it okay, because it’s only been a few days of nausea for me, and I’m a total pathetic case of wanting someone to take care of me while I curl up in bed, borderline crying. 😛

Post-a-day 2018

Ill

I just don’t understand how I have to be sick still.  It has been almost 14 days that I have been ill with whatever this is.  Sure, I’m loads and loads better than I was at the beginning, or even for the first week.  But it still sucks.  What lesson does the universe want me to learn from this?
Post-a-day 2018

My brain on leave

You know that sort of delirium that is sometimes tied to illness?  The one where, mid-sentence, you have no idea what you were thinking, and aren’t even entirely certain that you were, in fact, talking.  Yeah, that one.  I’m totally living in that right now, with interspersed bouts of clarity and energy.  It’s definitely weird.  Kind of puts a troublesome damper on typing, even, let alone coming up with an idea for writing and then actually remembering it… Yeah.  Okay.

Post-a-day 2018

Sick, yet again

What’s the point of getting sick, if there’s no one around to take care of you?  Or, at least, to check in on you, and possibly bring some hot food for you…  Sure, I get to take a break from going out into the world, but I hardly have the will to procure myself food when I’m healthy and well.  Get me sick, and, though it is the time at which I most need quality nourishment, I hardly have the energy to get out of bed, let alone cook food to feed myself.  I think this is what I want most out of a partner in life.  I want someone who will take care of me in those times when I most need (or really want) to be taken care of.  It isn’t all the time, but sometimes being held closely and having someone rub my back genuinely lovingly is the perfect remedy for any ailment.

Post-a-day 2018

The pleasurable nose blow

Think of the last time you blew your nose?  Was it one of those quiet, sneaky-type nose blows, as though you’re trying to hide the fact that you’re blowing your nose?  Or was it one of those really satisfying ones, where it isn’t exactly loud, but it is full?

I almost exclusively do the latter, and it always feels amazing.  As I blew my nose for the third time after eating this Banh Mi (Vietnamese sandwich) with some deliciously and painfully nice jalapeños sliced in it, I began considering the feeling after blowing my nose.  Do you know the one I mean?  In an almost sort of daze, I take my first breath through my freshly freed nose, and possibly share the intake of breath with my mouth, and then almost sigh the air out of me, releasing some unknown tension, somewhere in my body.  I usually end up mostly breathing out of my mouth afterward, and just allow my nose to rest – this light come from the feeling of blowing my nose when it is really stuffed up and runny, and blowing it seems only to clear out one set of mucus and snot in order to make space for the immediate arrival of another.  In those cases, the feeling and experience are almost the same.  It is a hazy happiness of release and deep breathing (usually through the mouth) that feels almost magical.  I almost even have an urge to cyclist my eyes at times, and to indulge momentarily in the after effects of the nose-blowing.

If you have no idea what I am referencing here, give it a try some time.  Blow your nose really satisfyingly hard (the emphasis of really being on satisfyingly, not hard), and take the time to pay attention to the experience immediately following.  If you still don’t get it, then oh, well… I’ll enjoy the experience enough for us both.

And then some…

Post-a-day 2017