Sometimes, it feels like I must pick between several things that are all happening on the same day, overlapping just slightly, such that I technically could do them all, but for shorter amounts of time than I would want to spend at each event, and knowing that I would be absolutely wiped at the end of it all. So, I must pick. And I have nothing to do on any other days – only on these days where everything is happening on the same day.
But then, oftentimes, when I start to see how I could make it all work, things pop up and declare themselves incompatible with something else suddenly, and so the decision is made for me. The priority items win out in the incompatibility contest, and the less important events are set aside and dismissed. What’s funny about it, too, is that I often end up not doing the one thing I was kind of really excited to go do. But, hey, the important stuff is ranked so for a reason. And they usually end up being wonderful, anyway.
Such is the case with this weekend. I had to decline several exciting things in order to do work and to give love somewhere that it is very much needed.
On that note…
Dear God, please, keep me safe this weekend. Help me to share your love with B—, such that she truly experiences your love for her. Help her to feel and acknowledge your presence. Help her to be freed of that which she carries so heavily right now. Help her to let go of all that does not serve her in your will and your love. Help me to say and do just what she needs to hear and experience, in order to find your love newly. Thank you for this opportunity. Bless me with your perfect words and actions this weekend, please. Thank you for this life. Help me help B— be grateful for it all, too. And, if there be demons in and/or around her, help me to wash them away permanently. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Slightly higher altitude and lower humidity levels make a huge difference in the enjoyability of the outdoors, especially at night. We are in Wimberley this weekend, and we totally could hang out on the porch most evenings and nights here, and enjoy it thoroughly. If we were home in Houston right now, we’d be sweating and be attacked by mosquitos all evening and the whole first half of the night.
Sometimes, it is wonderful to experience a moment of others expressing exactly how you have been feeling for so long, and for which you have felt so alone and unwanted.
Thank you for that unexpected expression of love today, God. Thank you. Amen.
“It has Brie, salami, and raspberry compote, and is on the jalapeño cheese bread from Goode Co. Is it still considered a grilled cheese?”
“I think so. Sounds and looks delicious.”
Over a year and a half ago, I was gifted the leftover entire loaf of jalapeño cheese bread from a Goode Co. Barbecue catered lunch. I brought it to my man’s house and told him I wanted to make us grilled cheese sandwiches with it – I just needed to go get the cheese first. He is excited about the idea, and keeps the loaf for me to come back and cook up the sandwiches in the next day or so.
The next day, however, while taking with him on the phone, I hear him wondering aloud about what something is… Why is there a twisty tie on the floor? What is this plas… And then it hits him. I ask him what it is, and he tells me with gravity that it was the twisty tie from the loaf of bread.
It takes a tick for it all to set in. At first, I thought he had been eating the bread and left open the bag. But then I remember his commenting on plastic on the floor…
Put simply, the dog was able to jump up and get the loaf off the counter, because my man put it too close to the edge. The dog is not very big, so the bread had to be very much right on the edge of the countertop. Massive fail on my man’s part.
The whole loaf had disappeared, along with most of the plastic, it seemed. My one consolation in the upset was that at least the dog would throw up or have horrible poops after all those jalapeños. She had neither, of course. And neither my man nor I forgot about that incident.
Fast forward to last weekend. A friend of his is having a gathering to celebrate the baptism of the children. The food at the small gathering is from Goode Company. I see the bread and instantly recall our denied grilled cheeses. I laugh about it and share the story. I am not mad about the whole thing at all. I find it comical. But I have always been a bit let down that we never got to have those grilled cheeses. So, I’m not sad or mens or anything when I tell the story, just to be clear. It is no sop story.
Anyway, the next day, the friend reaches out to my man to let him know that they have extra jalapeño cheese bread, and would we like to have it? Of course, we accept graciously and gratefully. He delivers the bread the next day to my man, and only asks that he get to see some photos of these grilled cheese.
It took me until today, a week later, to be able to spend the time and make them, naturally. So, we had stuck the partial loaf in the fridge and the full loaf in the freezer. Didn’t want to risk losing them to the Houston humidity. Even still, we did lose one half-piece cuff of the fridge pieces.
Nonetheless, I made an open-faced slice and a whole grilled cheese sandwich (only three pieces of bread were available from the fridge, you see) today. I tried for the first time coating them in mayonnaise first – will do that every time in the future now, because it is amazing – and then cooking them in Kerrygold butter. I used Brie that I sliced up into thin pieces (to be like shredded cheese, for melting consistency and ease), salami that I had sautéed in the butter already, and then raspberry compote that I had, all on the jalapeño cheese Texas toast style bread.
I kid you not, this grilled cheese sandwich was amazing. We both used utensils to eat them, and it was ridiculously satisfying to do so. They were just really, really good grilled cheese.
Of course, I reminded my man to get a photo of the two before attacking them, since his friend had specifically asked for photos. He took them – the most underwhelming food photos he’s ever taken, likely because he was so ready to eat what smelled and looked so good – but he complained that the sandwiches were totally not grilled cheeses. They had too many other things in them, he said, for them to be grilled cheese. I declared that as immediately false, and said the majority of the filling was still cheese, so they were grilled cheese sandwiches. (Obviously, we are ignoring the fact that grilled cheese sandwiches are typically truly sautéed cheese sandwiches, but whatever.)
He sent the photos to his friend with the message, “Hannah’s ‘grilled cheese’”. He then added the aforementioned message and inquiry, and the friend replied that it still was a grilled cheese. My man immediately shouted aloud, “Wring answer!” And we had a very good laugh about it while we finished off our awesome grilled cheese sandwiches.
Thank you, God. Amen.
P.S. I discovered today that Brie is a proper noun by law in France, as it is cheese named after the region named Brie. And now you know, too. 😛
Today, I am tired. I was up and at school early for test proctoring, which I didn’t really want to do, but that I kind of needed to do in order to afford life right now. Plus, it was partly a favor for the person in charge, who needed a last-minute replacement for someone else. So, I went. I was grateful for the breakfast tacos we were given. Moving the desks around was more of a hassle than it ever has been, but they turned out to be quite nice eventually. And I had a surprise of the final section of the test just disappearing and not even being on there anymore, which removed about half an hour from the testing time (and I only discovered it when we were about to start the actual last hour of testing). And I ended up not having anymore work to do for Monday, as I’d gotten it all done last night before going home. So, I got to go home way earlier than expected and a lot less tired than expected. And I had a wonderful surprise set of messages from my best friend. And I got to see my man before he was booked for the afternoon and evening.
So, it was a good day and I am grateful for it. But I still am very tired.
Thank you, God. Guide me always to pursue and fulfill your will, please. Amen.
Today has been my man’s birthday. We had nothing big deal planned, yet it still turned out to be a wonderful time. I surprised him with chocolate-coffee pancakes, fresh eggs, and bacon (and a freshly brewed coffee) for an early breakfast before I went to school. Then I brought him a surprise chocolate-lovers’ large slice of cake from a restaurant that ships i their cake slices from this awesome bakery outside of town, which he promptly devoured. And I surprised him with a special hot sauce that is expected to be a slightly sweeter version of Sriracha. Hopefully, he likes it. (He told me over breakfast, “I know what I want for my birthday… Sriracha.” I snorted gently and told him something like, ‘Of course,’ and, ‘Yeah, right.’ No such thing right now, dear. We both chuckled over it a bit, but so knew immediately I would go get a bottle of this specific new version that was recently released to a couple Asian grocery stores in town, not far from school. So, I got him a bottle right after school and before the chiropractor appointment, and surprised him with the bottle at the house later, with the chocolate cake.
Anyway, we then went to a rodeo social and my stepdad got to join the committee very easily and be on my man’s team. So, they’ll end up working together for the rodeo this next year, which I think will be quite fun for the both of them, as well as good for them. We also had a great time at the social just being social and talking with a handful of specific people.
And then we had a great and silly dinner together, my mom and stepdad and my man and I. That was a good ending for the night, and I most certainly drove us home (because rodeo meetings typically have open, complimentary bars, and tonight’s was no exception).
Thank you, God for this blessed day and for this blessed man. Thank you for the love I am blessed to share with him and the life we are blessed to share together, through you and your love. In your name, I pray in gratitude. Amen.
Last night at dinner, my man asks genuinely, “Today is Friday, right?” No, dear. It’s Monday.
I mentioned that at school today, and one of the guys said that would be a great day to live, like every day were Friday. And, somehow, I find that idea hilarious. How would life look for someone who truly lived like every day were Friday? In my mind, for whatever reason, that person wears a lot of Hawaiian shirts. Haha
Nonetheless, that person likely would be in a great mood every day and have a great day every day. Depending on the person, he could be totally unproductive or extremely productive. I personally would aim for the latter – get it all done to have a great and free weekend, you know?
Well, I got some sleep last night, but it don’t work out too well after I was informed that a chicken had wound up dead. And we don’t even know why. So, that’s sad. It wasn’t even the chicken who had been acting weirdly, like she might have been sick. It was one that had seemed totally fine. Again, so, that’s sad.
My man had found it before he went to bed for the night, and he told me later that he put it in a Target bag, then that in another Target bag, then that into a kitchen trash bag… and then he went and put it in a public trash bin somewhere nearby, so it would get picked up sooner than if it had gone into our trash bin, which doesn’t pick up for several days… anyway, it was weird to hear and to know. I guess all dying can be hard like that. It was also sad to lose that life. I liked that chicken. Sure, they’re somewhat unintelligent fat-like birds. But I still like them. And I am grateful for them for more than just the eggs they produce (though haven’t produced in a few days now). It’s just sad knowing that that life has ended.
Turns out that they have mites. That combined with the intense heat the past couple weeks or so plus the fact that they were drinking water from the AC drip likely is the combination reason why she died. I am hoping resolving the water source issue will help, as well as that all the work my man put in today to clean out the coop and having given the birds a sandbox that also has diatomaceous earth in it, and then the spray treatment for the coop tomorrow will help to clear of the mites issue and help to clear the struggle others may presently be facing with it all. They already got electrolyte stuff in their water today and will get some apple cider vinegar, too, soon.
“You’re bleeding! Your teeth! It looks like you’re trying for a horrible Halloween costume.”
Apparently, he had flossed his teeth rather hard, and then put in his aligners… which then were holding in all the blood in a very creepy way. It had seeped in between all the upper teeth on the right side of his mouth, and was a light layer of red on the front of each tooth with a dark pooling effect in between them all.
He went to rinse it out and was blown away – he’d had no idea I was serious about its being a lot of blood. “I could have given a blood sample with the amount of blood that came out of the tray,” he said.
For the first time in my life, I slept well the night before the first day of school. I went to school today rested and ready for the day, and I was, at one point, amazed when I realized just how rested and easy-feeling I was. I had a peaceful, easy feeling, and it was mostly due to a good night of sleep last night.
What a great first to experience.
Dear God, thank you for my sleep last night. Please, help me always to sleep well, that sounds have the full and easy energy to pursue and fulfill your will always. Thank you for this life and this work – they are both blessed. In your name, I pray in gratitude. Amen.
hannah ananas 