“Your girls, sunbathing by the boats,” I sent.
He replied, “Nice”.
“We miss you,” I said.
“She got a good roll in,” I said.
“Haha nice,” he replied, “I miss you too”.
And then he said, in reply to the first message, “She’s naked, why aren’t you?”
::face palm… idiot… such a guy…
And I love him.
Thank you, God, for such a man period, and especially for his presence and role in my life in particular. In gratitude, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2022
Sitting atop a kitchen step stool,
I cross my legs and I wait
For not only the man who sits on the throne,
But also the smell to vacate!
Post-a-day 2022
I can usually (and do) say what others either can not or will not say, when a situation is in need of it, of directness and clarity. But I regularly cannot figure out what to say to soothe people, a situation for which so many people do seem to be able to say what needs to be said… I am gifted with words, but not with soothing words. That’s for certain…
Post-a-day 2922
Anywhere, my love.
Post-a-day 2022
The human body is a beautiful thing. And it is especially beautiful when its inhabitant, if you will, truly takes care of it and well. The contours and shapes are just plain beautiful. But one of the absolute best parts, I think, is that muscled V that runs along the inner edges of the hips. Underwear models have been getting us with those two lines for decades, and I don’t really see them ever ceasing to dupe us into wanting even more Calvin Klein underwear simply because of that V… mmmm… I look forward to having my very own personal Calvin Klein underwear model… eventually… 😛
Post-a-day 2022
Started menstruating early while on a middle-of-semi-nowhere resort. Didn’t have quite enough tampons to make it through the rest of the weekend. Must purchase from the store on property, because we’re in the middle of a nature preserve and can’t get to anywhere reliable easily or cheaply. Glance at magnets, because he likes to collect magnets from his travels, but determine that none were interesting in the first place and he didn’t much care to have one for this particular trip, anyway. Buy two eight-pack boxes of regular Tampax Pearl and a box of ten Mexican brand supers. Cost is $25. $25 for 26 tampons. He asks, “Is that typical?” ‘Five or so dollars would be,’ I tell him. He comments that well, everything is expensive just because of where we are, and we have to get these, so, oh, well. He doesn’t say it meanly or annoyedly, but simply acknowledging what’s so.
We finish paying, I grab my boxes, and we begin to walk away. The worker/cashier calls out to us. He turns away to grab something, says, “Here,” and hands us two shot glasses that are actually kind of cool looking. We chuckle and thank him, and everyone is smiling genuinely, and the two of us feel so delighted at how just being ourselves while buying tampons turned out to be so fun. We don’t even have shots, but we certainly will find some small serving of some beverage or beverages to enjoy with these little glasses.
And then my mom asked, of course, upon hearing the bulk of the story and seeing the photo, if they were tampon holders. (For those who don’t know my mom, it was a definite joke on her part, and we all laughed really well at it.) It was great.
Post-a-day 2022
As I pack for this beachside trip this weekend, I find myself having to unpack all sorts of stress. My clothes are an odd combination of styles, when it comes to the clothes that actually fit me properly, and I am struggling to build outfits that aren’t simply workout-type clothing or fall weather clothing. The cute bottoms I have have no cute tops to go with them – just an abundance of matching/complementary cute sport bras, which isn’t the same thing. It seems my mid-range of formal clothing never really got replenished with my new age and style and size these past few years, but I had still gotten rid of everything that didn’t bring me joy. And, given my lifestyle the past couple years, with even most of my work requiring a workout gear wardrobe (and my actual workouts, of course), I have little that fits beyond the workout gear, some formal dresses, and the few teaching outfits. Even my swimsuits don’t quite exist. I just have a couple old one-pieces – like from my mom from before I was born – and one modern one-piece that is actually a touch small on me. None of them fit quite the way one wants to dress on a beach vacation.
Anyway, so, I’m having to deal with various emotions and thoughts around myself and my life as I work on this packing… the should-haves and shoulda-dones in which I do not believe in believing have been strong today, reminding me of how I could have done things better, differently, etc…
I trust that I will work it all out tomorrow, but it is definitely a touch uncomfortable still now, having only begun to unpack the emotions and what lies behind them, as well as having only gotten first-round outfits put together (meaning that I don’t love them and am not super excited about them yet, so they need some work to reach that point tomorrow).
Dear God, please, help me to fulfill your will through being my best possible self and through loving fully those in my life, with your love. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2022
I mean, sure, I have an absolute preference for a man with a full head of hair. However, in the grand scheme of things, it is merely a preference. Whether a man naturally has hair on his head or not does not come from a personal decision or certain morality or attitude toward life – it’s just how God made him. Why be mad at the way something was made? What is the benefit?
For example, I love strawberries. They are amazing. But they also make my body not feel its best, and eating them does not honor my body fully. So, I go without them most of the time. I don’t get mad at strawberries for causing stomach stress within my body. I don’t get mad at my body for not being able to process strawberries perfectly and easily. That’s just the way we both were made.
It was definitely an adjustment when I first learned that they were behind the discomfort I was having. But feeling amazing by not having them wins out, leaving me not minding so much that I don’t eat strawberries anymore.
Therefore, if a full head of male hair is not in my future partner’s future, then that’s okay. Because my future partner will be the person for me and I will be the person for him. Hair is merely an esthetic detail.
So, my Love, my Life, and my God, bring it on, please. They will be done. In your name, I pray. Amen. Hallelujah. Praise be.
Post-a-day 2022
“Have I told you lately that I love you?” I ask as I approach a friend first thing in the morning, at the gym. “And that I am incredibly grateful to have you in my life?”
He smiles a huge, clearly grateful smile, chuckles slightly, and replies, “Same,” slightly embarrassed yet glad.
Somehow, that song lyric was in my head as I walked up to him, and I realized that it was a valid thought to be having, too – I hadn’t told him lately that I love him. He is a very dear friend of mine, and I am incredibly grateful to have him in my life. I tell others this somewhat often, and I usually tell him, too. But I hadn’t lately. And our interaction yesterday merely supported how awesome he is and how wonderful it is and has been to have him in my life, especially this past year. True friends are a gift from God, I swear.
Thank you, God, for love and life and true friends. Thanks be to God, Hallelujah, and Amen!
Post-a-day 2022
Eyes closed, I lean forward,
smelling a scent
that is both known to me
and new to me.
Though it is strange,
this knowing and not knowing,
and even the scent itself,
I like having this scent
and its originator
by my side.
Post-a-day 2022
hannah ananas 