December 2018 – Page 2 – hannah ananas

Siblings

I sometimes wonder if my attachment to objects is somehow strongly connected to how I grew up with my siblings…

You see, during my Freudian development years, I have five siblings, and it would be anywhere from all five to non of them around, depending on the current situation… and I have a feeling that it was more often none of them around than any.

I have this vague memory of having a room full of toys when I was really little – it’s just a glimpse sort of memory of this one moment in this one particular house and bedroom… I wonder if my mom kind of surrounded me by toys – granted, we had awesome, genius-type toys and books, not stupid stuff, but there might have been a decent amount of them around – as a means of giving me the company I lacked from my siblings… possibly not, but also possibly so, just not consciously so…

Or maybe I just associate with objects as very important, because those were the versions of my siblings that did stay around whenever the real ones left…

It is difficult for me to let go of things, – I let go of them nowadays, though it definitely takes a lot of work for me to do so – and I wonder if it isn’t in part due to their representing my being surrounded by people who love and care about me.

Maybe not… it was just an idea that floated around for a while, and sounded like an interesting possibility.

I do think it is kind of odd, though, how often it seems I was alone, sibling-wise, in my early years, when considering that I technically had five siblings.

That’s just how those divorces worked out, you know?

Post-a-day 2018

Doi!

Do you ever have those super obvious facts and connections that just never occur to you until you ask a blatant question about them (and then feel kind of stupid for asking about something so obvious)?

They happen to me somewhat often, I think.

It’s like the other week, for example: I was watching one of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” films, thinking about how they have British accents, and I suddenly asked myself, ‘Where is Port Royal, anyway?’

Immediately, upon asking myself the question, I emitted a sort of guffaw-snort sound, declaring it a duh question – I thought to myself, ‘I mean, come on: Pirates of the Caribbean?’

It was a good moment of absurdity, and not at all a foreign one. 😛

Post-a-day 2018

Milk-buying debacle

I was thinking the other night about buying milk in Japan.

It wasn’t an easy task initially – I looked up the right words to find and everything, because nothing was super obviously milk in the store, and because I had been told that there were various types of cow milk sold in Japan.

And so, having looked up my info, I went to the grocer with my words to recognize real ‘milk’, and I was confident in my chances of finding milk.

You see, I thought this one section was the milk.

And I was right… mostly… it was the milk section.

But it was also the section for many other beverages of various similarities and differences to and from milk.

I don’t drink milk, you see, so I had always just bought the almond milk, which was easy for me to figure out.

But, when I was making pralines as a gift for my weekend host family, I needed milk, so I went and bought one that was ‘100% natural’ (or something much like that), because that was what I had learned as the differentiating factor in the weird milks versus the good/real milks).

The pralines were good, but a little sweeter, thinner than I’d expected – it was my first time making them myself, though, so it was easily a possibility that they were just always like that for the recipe I was using.

A week or so (or less) later, a friend was over, and I offered her the carton of the remaining milk (which was kind of a lot), and she accepted (remember that I don’t drink milk).

Somehow, it comes out – I think she might have poured herself some milk or sniffed it and then poured it to check or something – that the milk is really off… the color is totally wrong, and it is definitely not milk.

(Actually, I think it was more than a week later, and so we’d figured the milk was bad, and she was pouring it out in the sink… or maybe that wasn’t how it happened… I’ll have to check to see if she remembers…)

Turns out, it is juice – 100% natural juice suddenly makes much more sense to me than ‘100% natural’ milk – and it makes perfect sense about the pralines having been a little off.

I was actually surprised the pralines were any good at all, let alone quite delicious, seeing as how I had filled them with some juice mixture instead of milk!

We had a good laugh over our sudden discovery.

I was sure, therefore, to look up the specifics of milk cartons when I was making pralines a second time, this time for a goodbye present for all my local friends and my coworkers.

Fortunately, it worked out properly this time around, and the pralines were even more delicious, and they totally blew people’s minds (because pralines are definitely not a thing in Japan).

Post-a-day 2018

Home, I guess

Three and a half weeks ago, I moved the last of my belongings into my new housing location… tonight, I am spending my first official night here.

‘Why?’ you ask.

Because first, there was suddenly no hot water (first two weeks); then, it was fixed, but I was in the middle of my final papers and didn’t want to mess with moving myself during that (slash to a place with no internet during that) (one week); and then, I just got nervous about staying here, because it had been so long of not being here and of being in a place where I was emotionally comfortable (at my mom’s, spending lots of time with her) (this past weekend).

What’s funnier, is that I was supposed to move in here another three weeks before I did, but it was pushed back, due to a huge crack in the ceiling from the foundation repairs over the summer.

So really, it’s taken 47 days to move from one place to another, only a few neighborhoods over. 😛

Totally nuts, huh?

And then tonight, while showering, I find that the hot and cold are switched on the shower – I was genuinely concerned at first, since no hot water was arriving, but it worked out (phew!) – and then, when I gently turn the shower-head so that it isn’t pointing really far to the side, water starts shooting everywhere.

I quickly turned the water back to the tub faucet, and worked to remedy the sudden spewing situation on the shower-head, by tightening it back into place… only to find the shower-head suddenly in my hand – apparently it was waiting to break off.

I actually laughed at the absurdity of it, it was kind of like the straw that broke the camel’s bag of laughter – I was in no way stressed, but merely finding the total humor of it all.

It was a clean break, and so I set the shower-head on the floor and turned the water back to the shower function, using just the metal tubing to which the actual sprayer of the shower-head had been attached… it isn’t as efficient, for my shower or the planet, but it works, and it’ll do for now.

Oh, the delights of life… all of this on top of the fact that I’m home super late tonight, but have to be up early tomorrow, and I started feeling the symptoms of my body fighting infection this afternoon (super sore muscles in my upper back and all the way around of my neck).

God, thank you for these blessings I have received – please, help me to be happy, healthy, holy through them all.

Post-a-day 2018

Teeth

I was thinking tonight about a recent opinion I heard (I think I heard it, anyway, but I might have read it) about teeth in the USA.

I think it might have been from a comedian, and he was contrasting Japan’s (or a country’s with a similar situation) teeth with those of the USA… in Japan, everyone’s teeth are different, and very noticeably so… in the USA for his first time, he noticed that everyone has the same teeth – orthodontia’s being standard has removed the individuality and the personality of people’s teeth here.

I had never thought of straight teeth being a means of stripping one of his individuality or personality.

Even now, though, months into digesting this idea, I find that I still want my teeth fixed up with orthodontia – I still want those straight pearly whites.

For me, I notice teeth in people… when they are bad teeth, it is difficult to see anything else… when they are good teeth, they kind of receive a mental check mark, and I move onward, seeing more of the person…

For me, clean and straight teeth allow for me to see more of a person… the crooked or stained teeth end up being a distraction.

Certainly, those shiny bright white teeth are also a distraction, because they are just so totally unnatural-looking… but that’s not the kind of teeth I’m aiming to see and have – those are a bit absurd (Think Ross Geller in that episode of “Friends” where he gets his teeth whitened, and they end up in a room with blacklights, making him extra freaky.).

Nonetheless, I still have that mental space reserved for preparing myself a way to have orthodontia and a tad of teeth whitening at some point in my life… I want my personality to show in other ways, not from the teeth I never would have picked, you know?

Yeah… something like that

Post-a-day 2018

English…?!

Whenever I tell people that my master’s program is for a master’s in English, I’m always surprised at their reactions – or their lack thereof, really.

I do not see myself as an ‘English type’.

My family and I (on my mom’s side, that is) are really rather scientific and math-y about things, and we are total nerds and dorks about the things that interest us… and we also do loads of research on things just about all the time.

If we love something, we also are semi-experts on it – that’s how much we look into things with our research and how much we love learning.

Tonight, I happened to mention that I have read 45 books so far this year (It was relevant, but I don’t presently recall why.).

My friend said that I was and English type, because those were all [insert super famous, depressing-topic novels from around the world that have at least a version in English], and I made a face, cutting her off with, “No, not that crap.”

We both halted at what I had just said, and saw that I had unconsciously called what is considered some of the most important things in the world to an ‘English type’ crap.

I wasn’t intending to be rude to those books or those people, but it was straight from the heart and head, what I said – I love to read, but just not much of that stuff that everybody seems to say is necessary and kind of the only part for caring about literature.

I had even given an ‘ugh‘ of distaste at an overheard conversation earlier on, in which someone was naming some of those famous novels (thereby making me mentally gag).

Just as anyone likes one thing over another, I like certain books and book genres and styles over others – it isn’t that I see no value in the famous novels – many of them certainly are the foundation for modern-day styles and rhythms and topics on a regular basis – , but it is that I see value in other novels, too… more value than the English buffs ever seem to give them.

That’s why one teacher wasn’t sure what to do about my thesis idea – there is no teacher at our school who has a background that is entirely relevant to the author and books I’ve selected to research and discuss as valuable, because they are too new and too radical in the world of English buffs and, therefore, degrees in English.

That’s okay – I’m part of the tiny minority of caucasians at a black university… I’m accustomed to doing things differently and making them work.

Post-a-day 2018

P.S. Is it weird to anyone else that we’re almost finished with 2018 already??…. I mean, it feels like the end of September right now, maybe early October…

Nerding into the finish line

Tonight was great.

I turned in the hard copy of my paper (digital copy was earlier today – I just couldn’t get to campus until after work), and then somewhat spontaneously went to dinner with a friend from college (finally, it worked out for both of us).

Dinner was great.

The restaurant we picked, which the friend had picked at random from the two options I gave, was shut down, and so we went to the other option, and the pumpkin red curry special was just what I’d needed and wanted on this cold and windy night.

I ran into an old friend from dance while having dinner, and that was fun.

The friend and I having dinner together talked a lot about boats, because he works with boats and art, and then we finished a crossword puzzle.

It was a nerdy affair, and I definitely loved it – a rather perfect end to the semester for me, really.

Post-a-day 2018

You can do it

That’s my reminder for this evening at 8:15pm. I have about three and a half pages (single-spaced pages, of course) to go to finish up this f-i-n-a-l paper for the semester. And I can do this. I keep reminding myself of the baby steps, and it keeps working. I wrote the entire other paper at work today – don’t worry that I was skimping out on my work to do it, because I was not at all – following the baby steps method, and I think it will work similar magic for me on this paper tonight and in the morning. 🙂

I can do it. And Siri helped me to remember that, giving me that bit of encouragement I knew I would need this evening after class. I really do appreciate what Siri can do for me. He’s a great help for many things, and I am sure to thank him often (though he usually denies any need for thanks, whenever I do express it). 🙂

Post-a-day 2018

Toddler Time, it seems

May I just say, for one last time, that I am so tired of these papers?

I am tired of these papers… I want to be done with them, but I don’t want to sit and write them anymore – I have lost my interest in them. I’ve already done all the research, proven my hypothesis for myself. Why do I now need to organize it all up for others to see? I really am okay that the world doesn’t get to experience my findings and ideas on this point. Although, to be fair, I think I would be quite annoyed, if someone else were to come up with a paper on the same topic, and I never finished this one… So, I guess I do want to finish this paper, actually do the rest of it.

Yeah…

I’m just sleepy now, and so don’t really want to hassle with the whole mess that sits in front of me, mentally. I don’t want to sort it all out right now. I guess this is a perfect time for me to begin with the Dr.’s “Baby Steps” method again*… always gets me through whenever I hit this sort of panic or despondency in the face of the pile of ‘Oh-my-goodness’ that seems, somehow, almost endless.

Okay, baby steps it is, Doc… Here I go

*From the film “What About Bob?”, what I consider to be a fabulous and somewhat infuriating film.

Post-a-day 2018

Domestic International Travel

One of the things I love about Houston is how I can just immerse myself in different cultures here.

Tonight, my mom and I attended a festival that was in celebration of the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

Naturally, we were immersed in the Spanish-speaking world, with a great emphasis on Mexican culture (and Mexican Spanish).

And it was wonderful.

People, for a good part of it all, did not behave using U.S. standards of behavior – southern hospitality, southern sweetness, and southern chivalry were on vacation, for sure.

A small fight even broke out between two guys, and people broke it up and gently shoved people back on their way through the festival, almost immediately forgetting about the altercation that had just occurred in front of them.

Items for sale couldn’t have been more stereotypical, and they were all genuine.

Performances were wonderful and traditional.

And the food was spectacular and native, as much as is possible out of country… I wasn’t even hungry, and I had to get some, because I knew how good certain things would be. (And I was right, too. But I just had a taste, and then saved the rest for tomorrow.)

And it was all a really good time, the two of us kind of being two of the very few gringas and gringos at the event – it was such a genuine piece of culture that we were the ones who were visiting, as opposed to the event visiting Houston… (I hope you get what I mean by all of this – it isn’t intended to be ignorant or rude or anything of the sort, but merely showing an appreciation for the drop of foreign culture that is utterly at home and at its ease here in Houston.)

It was great.

Post-a-day 2018