Tag: adulting

Restless

Do you ever find yourself, while in the middle of doing something valuable, feeling like you’re doing nothing to make the world a better place? Like you just need to go do something… as though you aren’t already on the middle of doing one of those somethings?

I’ve been sitting at school, grading papers, spending time around students, prepping for my classes that are later today… and I keep feeling so utterly antsy, like I can hardly wait to be done with this all.

And it’s weird for me.

I love to teach. And I love learning. I’m getting to do both of those things right now. So, what’s buggin’?

And I don’t know the answer to that. I am finally growing comfortable – rather, have grown comfortable – with this position, and I’m ready to move on. How come? Am I not making enough of a difference here? Am I bored by it? Am I constantly comparing it to something better that I’ve done, and seeing it fall short again and again? Am I starting to resent it and myself, because it isn’t enough, isn’t good enough on some level or other?

Am I upset, because it just keeps feeling like a constant reminder of how I have failed elsewhere, that I am in a temporary position that, though it makes a huge difference for the school and students, is merely a reminder of the fact that I don’t have my own teaching position… that I am only filling in for someone else for a short while? And so I can find endless issues with the position and the school… thereby making it fee even worse that this was all I could get…

Yeah… it’s looking a lot like that is the reason.

I’m just going to sit with that for right now, and see later what is calling me most in terms of what to do about it.

Until then, May we all experience the blessings all throughout and within our day today. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Rubbing those pennies

And, sometimes, the money just isn’t there, and we have to dial back. And that’s okay. But it still hurts to know that it has been one’s own lack of financial success that is the source of the problem in the first place. And it hurts even more to know that it is affecting others whom one loves.

God, please, grant me the grace to let go of this hurt around money and financial comfort, such that I may use these experiences as support for pursuing and achieving something unimaginably better, through your will. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Arrived

Things have improved much on our trip. We talked through some things last night and this morning, and cleared up some important points in how we each were relating to the trip and aspects of it. We had a slightly tough start at the Jack Daniel’s Distillery, but ended up having a lovely time throughout it, and then an awesome time visiting with my sister tonight. We both tend to get very defensive, very quickly, so it is certainly a process to stop relating to things as a potential threat or unkindness from which e must defend ourselves… but we are improving as a whole, and I am certainly grateful for that!

I think this will be a lovely visit with my sister tomorrow and Monday morning. Thank you, God, for these blessings so far. Please, help us to continue to honor you through our love in all its forms. In your name, I pray. Thank you. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Doors

Maybe it’s a pull and not a push, I wonder as I begin actually to focus my attention on the couple just ahead of me, the wife currently attempting to open a double glass door to the next portion of the museum…

It hits all three of us at about the same time, just as they shift apart a bit, and I can actually see the door…

It isn’t a door… not at all…

As if in reproach, the doors make themselves utterly known as we move a few yards to the side to find them:

However, to be fair, they were push doors! So, she had the right idea, but just at the wrong spot.

We three talked about it and laughed as we went through the actual doors. When we then all chuckled some more about it as they overheard me explaining to my man what had just happened, and I pointed it out to him, he commented to the older couple, ‘The cleaning person is probably gonna be like, ‘Uhp! More idiots’ finger prints to clean off today!’ And, for some reason, we all really cracked up at that – even the lady herself. I guess we could just picture that exact thing happening, and we wondered how many people did that every day. It is, after all, directly where the walkway leads from the front section…

Fun times at the Parthenon, y’all. And yes, Nashville has a full-scale Parthenon. It was quite bizarre and cool.

Post-a-day 2022

Tennessee

We’re going on an airplane to Tennessee tomorrow morning. I’m terrified slightly, as usual, for the flying part, and I’m excited for the Tennessee part. I’ve never been to Tennessee. So, we’ll be checking out some super famous places that I wasn’t ever sure I’d see, as we’re going to Nashville.

Pray for safe travels for us both, please.

Post-a-day 2022

Meant to be

Naturally, I didn’t want to go to the meeting, as it was so late in the evening (6-8pm) and far away from home, both on a school night.

Naturally, I didn’t leave until almost 8:45pm, because I was having such a great time.

I guess that’s how it goes when we end up where we’re meant to be.

Thank you, God, for such a blessing as this new rodeo committee seems like it will be and already has been so far. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Prayer

My mom told me the other night, ‘I just listened to Mark Wahlberg say the rosary.’

Uhm… What?????

It’s this prayer app called “Hallow”. I immediately downloaded it and did the daily rosary with narrator Mark, who happens to be the Mark Wahlberg. Super cool.

But it gets a bit better.

The app tracks your use in terms of streaks… ‘Congrats! You’re on a one-day streak!’ We all know that I’m a fan of streaks, what with an 808-day streak on Duolingo right now. So, where I’ve already been wanting to pray more, and I find this app with lots of really cool prayer options – the organization and usability could use some definite improvement, and having the paid options listed all mixed in with the free ones (with no filter) is a bit of a big hassle, though – that not only has Mark Wahlberg for the rosaries, but that also makes it like a game of sorts. I’m in!

Check it out, y’all, and have fun with prayer and meditations and learning all those prayers we hear so rarely but to which everyone else always seems to know the words! (Yes, those are all on there for free, too!)

Post-a-day 2022

Hair care

‘What’s with the Natty Light in the living room??’

‘… It’s for my hair…’

‘….’

‘Beer is a good conditioner.’

‘…’

‘It was the cheapest they had at the time, and the cans were bigger, so I could use one at least twice.’

‘….’

Yeah, well, it isn’t the first conversation I’ve had like this. And not the first time I’d heard the ridiculous nickname for the cheap beer either. Not a good sign, hunny, that you refer to that stuff with that nickname… Not a good sign…

(As though my having the beer isn’t bizarre enough on its own, right?? 😛 )

::facepalm

Post-a-day 2022

Hard Times

It can become extremely difficult to handle tough situations with grace, when our bodies and minds are suffering from a lack or excess of any kind, be it too little nourishing food and too much junk, or too little sleep or too much lazing, too much negative talk and too little kindness and generosity… Life just is harder when we don’t take true care of our bodies and our minds.

And it is a circle of positive feedback – the more we give ourselves the lacks and the excesses, the harder things become.

It is certainly time for me to take a stand and start caring for myself fully again. I cannot care for another or others to any degree truly, if I have not taken care of myself first. If I am not at my best, it will be immensely harder to help others be at theirs.

God, grant me the courage and the certainty that I am worth the efforts of caring for myself fully. Please, that I may do your will wholly. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Text messages

We were going to a vehicle meet-up tonight, right? On the way home from the gym, I pass this Italian-named mechanic shop and see a gathering of Porches, mostly 911s. My man is meeting his family to play golf at his brother’s somewhat snooty golf club, in celebration of my man’s birthday. So, I send my man a message and tell him there’s a Porsche meet-up at the mechanic place. He replies, ‘Might say the same thing out here at my brother’s club with just the members’ cars.’ 😛

Great start to the day, being silly and all. But it gets better.

As I’m arriving to his house this afternoon, after golf for him and work for me, I receive these messages:

Oh, the joys of Siri and Auto-correct… 😛

Post-a-day 2022